Julie gargled protest through her hands.
"I didn't quite catch that."
She took the hands off her lips and opened them wide, cupping them around her mouth as if to impart a secret.
"It was my idea," she hissed. Seeing the expression on the doctor's face, Julie laughed. The sound was perhaps a tad hysterical. Well, semihysterical.
"You think it was Alex? Ha! That proper fellow? Oh, God!" The laughter swelled. Yes, definitely semihysterical. "It took me weeks to wear him down!"
For a moment, her eyes grew dreamy. "He's such a sweet guy," she whispered. "It was a nice change, not having to fend off the sweaty mitts."
Julie slumped in her chair. "He's gonna kill me." The words carried all the gloomy surety of a Cassandra.
James cleared his throat. "You do have a couple of options. The first is an abortion." Hastily: "I don't do abortions myself, but Doctor Adams can handle that. So can Doctor Abrabanel, for that matter. At your stage of pregnancy, it's not a difficult procedure."
Julie gave him a sharp glance. "If it's so easy, why can't you do it?" Then, seeing the stiff look on his face, she giggled. "Don't tell me!" Giggle, giggle. "Boy, I bet that was a donnybrook. When you told Melissa, I mean."
James shrugged. "Wasn't a donnybrook at all. She has her principles, I got mine." His own eyes got a bit dreamy. "We get along pretty well, all things considered."
Abruptly, Julie shook her head. "Abortion's out anyway. I don't approve of it myself. So what's the other option?"
"It's obvious, isn't it? Get married."
Julie was back to wailing. "He's gonna kill me!" Her hands went back over her mouth. Gargle, gargle.
James scratched his head. "I don't get it. The way I heard it, he's been trying to get you to set a date."
Again, the hands popped open. "He has!" she hissed. The hands closed. Gargle.
"So what's the problem?"
Julie took a deep breath, sucking the air through her fingers. Then, slowly, eased it out. She removed the hands, dropped them into her lap, slumped her shoulders, and heaved a sigh worthy of Cassandra. Unheeded, again.
"You don't get it. It's the principle of the thing. By the time-" Her eyes narrowed, as she did some quick calculations. "By the time we got married-couldn't be sooner than next month, at the earliest-maybe not till September 'cause he's gotta go right away to see the king of Sweden as soon as he and Mike get done whipping those Spanish clowns-"
Calculate, calculate. James was struggling to keep a straight face again. He wasn't sure which amused him more-Julie's insouciant assumption that the Spaniards would be trounced, or her blithe reference to her fiancй's familiarity with royalty.
"Yeah," she concluded. "That's what I thought. We couldn't get married until sometime in September." She puffed out her cheeks and cupped her hands a foot away from her belly, in a parody of a pregnant woman.
"For Christ's sake, Julie! You can't possibly be serious. That early in the second trimester? Nothing would show at all."
"It would six months later!" she snapped. "Big time!"
James shrugged. "By then you'd be married. So who cares? Wouldn't be the first time-"
"That's the whole point!" Wailing: "You know how sensitive Alex is on account of he's illegitimate! You know! He's told me once, he's told me a thousand times: 'No child of mine will ever be bastard born.' " Even in her despair, she managed quite a good rendition of Mackay's Scottish accent.
Julie's logic had completely eluded James, by now. "I don't get it," he muttered. "If you're married when the child is born, then he-or she-isn't-"
"It's the principle of the thing!" she wailed. "Don't you understand? And nobody can get hung up on principles like a damn Scottish Calvinist!"
She was no longer even slumped in her chair. Just puddled in it, like a quivering blob of anxiety.
"He's gonna kill me," she squeaked. "I'm dead."
James' struggle for dignity collapsed, finally. He just couldn't resist. "Make sure you tell him at five hundred yards, then."
Julie's ensuing words were not uttered in a squeak. Rather the opposite. James consoled himself with the thought that he had, as was a doctor's duty, elevated his patient's spirits. In a manner of speaking.
Shortly thereafter, he ushered Rebecca into the same examination room.
"Julie seems out of sorts," she commented. "Is something wrong?"
James' lips twitched. "Nothing serious." He helped her into the chair.
"Oof!" said Rebecca. She gave the doctor a quick smile. "Thank you. I feel so awkward."
She gazed down at her belly. "Philosophically, I do not approve of this," she pronounced. "It seems such a foolish way to go about the matter. By the time a woman can get accustomed to her condition, it is gone." Her dark eyes grew very warm. "Soon."
James nodded. "Six to eight weeks. Can't be sure with a first pregnancy."
Rebecca lifted her head, smiling. "We did not waste any time, did we, Michael and I?" She broke off, laughing softly. "It will be such a scandal! The baby will be born barely seven months after we were married."
The thought did not seem to disturb her. Not in the least. James grinned.
"There seems to be a lot of that going around, these days."
It didn't take Rebecca more than two seconds to make the connection. In a movement which bore an uncanny similarity to Julie's, she clapped her hands over her mouth.
She laughed softly. Gargled.
"Poor Alex!" she mumbled through her fingers. She took the fingers away and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Julie will kill him," she hissed.
James threw up his hands. "Women! I can't follow your logic at all!"
He stalked over to his own chair and sat down in it heavily, then glared at Rebecca. "Explain your reasoning, if you would."
Rebecca dropped her hands into her lap. Her brow furrowed.
"Is it not obvious? Julie will be convinced that Alex will be furious with her because I am quite certain-I know none of the details, mind you, but I do know Julie-that she convinced him pregnancy was not to be feared."
Rebecca ran fingers through her hair, thinking. "Yes, that would certainly be the way it would have happened. Alex is too much the gentleman to have urged the thing upon her. She would have been the seductress, not the seduced one. Then-"
Thinking, thinking. "Of course, it is obvious. She will now tell Alex, convinced that he will lose his temper. You know how Julie is! By the time she tells him, she will have worked herself into a fury because she will be convinced that Alex will be furious with her. Like a firearm, primed and loaded. Alex, of course, will say something wrong. Under the circumstances, that is a certainty, since anything he says will be wrong as far as Julie is concerned. Then-"
She beamed. "The logic is impeccable. Julie will kill him. Hopefully, of course, she will only slay him with words. Since, I trust, she will not have given him the news at five hundred paces."
Seeing the expression on the doctor's face, Rebecca frowned. "Is something wrong, James?"
Nichols shook his head. "Nope. I'm just glad you're on our side." He snapped his fingers. "That for Richelieu!"