Lea broke into joyous peals of laughter and finally said, "You're right, Jon. I can maintain the Macro perspective for only the briefest moments. But I can remember these moments, and that keeps me from getting caught for very long in micro viewpoints which might overwhelm me with misery and unhappiness."
"Then one difference," I said, "between micro man and Macro man is the degree of retro cognition or memory of his past."
"Exactly," Lea responded. "We live lives of fear, frustration, and inadequacy only to the extent that we have forgotten our past. This self-induced amnesia is always the result of our desperate attempts to delay re-taking classes-learning opportunities-that we failed in the past."
"Then the solution is to remember everything," I said.
"And when we do remember everything, including the illusory nature of our separateness," Lea said, "then we have total Macro awareness."
"Then according to Macro philosophy, all learning is simply remembering," I postulated.
"That's true," Lea replied, "but only from the Macro perspective-certainly not from any micro view. You've remembered a lot today, though. Now it's time for you to return to your Alpha."
"When will I see you?" I asked.
She smiled and the lights danced in her eyes as she said, "When we are ready again, we'll see each other again."
I was able to accept that answer better this time. I left Lea at the C.I. center and walked back to my Alpha. I thought briefly of using the subway, but the early evening was so lovely that I decided to walk. Besides, it would give me an opportunity to think over some of my recent experiences.
When I got back to our Alpha the rest of the members were just finishing dinner, so I had missed the Macro dance and the swim. They greeted me warmly but there was no prying or questioning about my experiences. I quickly selected my meal, and enjoyed listening to the rest of my Alpha talking about visiting Micro Island. I soon discovered that they all planned to eventually volunteer for service on the island. Their discussion centered on what could be learned and at what triad or awareness level it could be learned best.
I told them about my seven life reviews and how I had recognized some of them in my last lifetime as the children I was trying to teach. They remembered that one, as well as many more in which they said we had known each other but which I had not yet remembered. I was fascinated listening to them talk about some of these lives and how they had developed the Macro power of retrocognition to the point where they could see the accumulating learning patterns and their slow but steady evolution in awareness.
I was reminded of the Macro learning curve which went up and down and up and down like a wave, with each up a little cumulatively higher than the last up and each down a little higher than the last down [see C.I. Data Excerpts]. Micro man with his limited temporal perspective can not see this cumulative effect and is, thus, often discouraged and overwhelmed with apparent futility and hopelessness at the -many failures and frustrations in his life.
My Alpha had stayed at our table to keep me company while I ate, but now they went off to their various P.E. tutors.
I'm going to interject here the fact that after every meal we rinsed our mouths with a special water-like solution that not only cleaned our teeth but also made tooth decay impossible. There were no dentists in the Macro society just as there were no medical doctors. To me the liberation from the discomforts of a frequently sick and steadily decaying body was one of the greatest achievements of the Macro society. The thought that no one died until they chose to was phenomenal.
After the others had left, Carol told me that we would not be seeing Rana this evening but another' tutor, Victor. As we made our way to the eleventh-floor tutoring rooms; Carol explained that she saw Rana only about once every three or four evenings. The rest of the Personal Evolution time was spent with Victor or occasionally other Macro counselors whom – she had never seen before and rarely saw again.
I was unprepared for the huge stature of Victor. He was the tallest person that I had yet seen in 2150. At a little over seven feet two inches and weighing almost 300 pounds, Victor was an impressive-looking man. Deep healing tones of green dominated his tunic. He was magnificently proportioned, having the physical beauty of all Macro society members.
When I asked his age I learned that he had 71 years, but he looked no more than 30.
During the first half of our meeting Carol and Victor talked about the problems that Carol was experiencing in attaining Macro contacts. As they talked I was impressed with the qualities of patience, humor, and kindness that this mighty giant radiated. I could see why he would be a successful Macro counselor, for it was easy to talk with him. He always seemed to know the right words or action to stimulate your mind to further activity in discovering new insights.
She and Victor discussed the difference between desire -defined as a joyously peaceful acceptance of the fact that what you most want to happen will happen-and anxiety, which was defined as a fear that what you most want to happen will not happen.
Then I talked about my realization that I would have to live on Micro Island soon if I was to learn how to evolve beyond my micro past to a Macro future. Victor agreed with me but suggested that I develop my Macro powers more fully before I volunteered as a resource person or tutor for Micro Islanders.
We discussed various ways of doing this. I wondered whether or not Carol should accompany me to Micro Island. We decided that her presence could help me grow a lot faster than if I went alone. She was delighted that I wanted her to come along.
As we were leaving, I told Victor that I was sure I had known him before. He laughed and said that he could remember having been tortured to death by me when I was a fanatical Italian cardinal. He assured me, however, that we had experienced other pleasant life-times together.
Back in our Alpha room Carol and I bathed together, then stretched out on our huge bed.
We discussed our day, and I mentioned how intriguing it was that I fortuitously translated to a point in time' where there were so many of my friends or enemies from the past.
She assured me that there was nothing fortuitous about it. She went on to explain that all souls travel in groups, experiencing and re-experiencing each other in different roles, much the same as players in a road company who fill many different roles in many different plays, in many different towns, before their contract runs out. Yet, they, are always interacting with basically the same players.
I teased her, saying that if she was my fellow player I might stay on the road forever. We rolled across the bed to the rhythm of her laughter.
She asked C.I. to provide Macro contact stimuli as we attempted to free our minds of all micro concern and accept the macrocosmic oneness of all.
Once again I became part of a great river flowing toward the beginning and end of all things-toward the infinite macrocosmic ocean. I flowed on and on, but this time there was an urgency to my movement. Instead of flowing in ever larger channels there seemed to be a constriction that was producing tension and unrest within me. I fought to break the growing pressure of restriction, but the harder I struggled, the greater the pressure grew, until my mind was filled with pain. Finally I screamed aloud, and the Macro stimuli ended along with the constricting pressure within my mind.
I looked at Carol and saw that her eyes were closed but her face was damp with tears, and I realized that my eyes were wet, too.
"What happened?" I asked. "What went wrong?"
Carol opened her eyes and looked at me. Then with a sad, tender smile she said, "I'm sorry, Jon, that I couldn't help you. It was my anxiety for Macro contact that got in our way again."