I was soon floating comfortably in our Beta swimming pool perfectly content to just watch the energetic water activities of the other 99 members of my Beta. There was no doubt in my mind that I was viewing the greatest athletes the human race had ever produced, and I Was sure that my comrades had reached the limits of, physical grace, dexterity, and superhuman stamina. A few couples were playfully making love as they enjoyed the rhythm of the moving waters supporting their united bodies. Carol dove underwater and as her wet breasts found their way up my thighs to my chest her legs wrapped around me and we joined together joyously. Appreciating the uninhibited joy of love expressed openly and freely, I made a mental note to apologize to Karl and Cindy.
Before we left the pool, Leo our Betar, organized a type of water ballet, a game that was breathtaking to watch.
I vowed that tomorrow I would become a part of this activity, too.
After dinner I listened to my Alpha do some magnificent singing and discovered that Nancy and Steve had voices that would have been the envy of our greatest opera singers of the 20th century. To provide musical accompaniment they merely had to ask C.I. to give them whatever they wished in the line of music, since C.I. had recordings of every imaginable kind. Carol explained to me that they ended most evening meals with song, and it was only because of my arrival and our lengthy conversations that I had not heard them sing until tonight.
I could have listened to them sing all night and even discovered I was able, with the aid of telepathy, to join in some of the songs. However, long before I was ready to end it, Alan was saying that it was time for tutoring and I was leaving for my visit with Rana. I was pleased that we would be meeting with her this evening since I planned to ask her to use all her Macro power to help me attain my third Macro contact.
Rana immediately picked up this intention of mine, or perhaps she had precognitively anticipated it, because she asked me how I thought she could help me attain Macro contact.
"Well I-I-don't know," I answered, feeling rather surprised at her question. "But, after all, you are a level ten and if anyone should know how to help me, you should."
"Yes," Rana replied, "but last time we met I told you that it is desire and belief that determine all things. No one can give you these two essentials."
"All right," I said, "but I thought if I could establish a strong telepathic bond with you, that when you establish Macro contact I would be able to make it more easily myself."
Rana shook her head. "It won't work with you and me because our soul notes are too dissimilar. However, it might work with Lea if you could completely eliminate all resistance. But, once again, we're back to desire and belief.
Even telepathically connected to Lea you would fail to attain Macro contact if you didn't have sufficient desire and belief. What's more, you would then interfere with your twin soul attaining Macro contact. Of course, since Lea has been using her Macro powers to maintain your time-space translation she has not been able to attain Macro contact at all."
Perceiving my thoughts Rana said, "No, Jon, there is no easy way. At least none that I know of, and I spent many lifetimes looking for them rather than accepting the responsibility for my own personal growth or lack thereof."
I didn't remember much of what happened during the rest of our meeting with Rana. I was a little embarrassed and more than a little disappointed.
Later that evening as I was ready to go to sleep I realized that ever since Rana had told me that she couldn't help me the way I wanted to be helped I had been in a fog of depression. Carol, of course, picked up on this and said something about all depression being the product of repression.
I wasn't really listening very closely for my mind was again wrestling with the seemingly impossible task of attaining level three in just three months.
Once again I failed to attain Macro contact, which so frustrated me that I then failed at attaining Macro immersion.
I lay awake for a long time thinking of my failures and the task before me.
CHAPTER 13: LOSS
I haven't written in this journal for almost two months. During this period my life has been filled with more failures and successes than in all my previous years put together. I was going to say that I have been too busy to write it all down, but I know that's only partially true. The truth is that I didn't want to write down all my failures, only my successes. Unfortunately, my conscience wouldn't let me write about one without mentioning the other. Finally this same conscience insisted that I bring this journal up to date. With only a month left to attain level-three awareness it should prove helpful to me to review the past two months.
My problems, just like everyone else's, have been caused by my refusal to accept the macrocosmic truth that all failure leads to success and that all success leads to failure-that is, to another lesson we have not yet learned. So I'll begin with a success that became a failure.
It has to do with my relationship with Neda and my desire to change her life from unloved ugliness to at least a minimum of enjoyable attractiveness.
I had Karl, with the help of one of his girlfriends, buy Neda some new clothes and provide her with enough of our research data to keep her busy typing. Meanwhile, I worked on her with the Macro powers of telepathy and PK.
I continued to bombard her mind with positive accepting thoughts which kept her happy and hopeful regarding the future. In fact, during the first month of my Neda project I spent almost all my waking hours in 1976 focusing my mind on her; not only sending positive reinforcing thoughts, but also suggestions as to what she should eat, what exercises she should perform. I was determined to improve her physical appearance as soon as possible, and I knew PK, the power used in all healing, could not be expected to do all the work needed.
I was pleasantly surprised, though, at how much PK could accomplish if carefully directed and applied to the gland and nerve centers of the body. I spent some part of every day back in 2150 learning from C.I. the seemingly miraculous emental healing and growth principles discovered by Macro society research.
I learned that the mind and the emotions direct the formation of our physical body and all the changes that occur within it. C.I. described this process as an automatic reflex called the cellular response, with every cell of our being faithfully playing the part prescribed for it by our mind and emotions.
With the help of C.I. and this new information I began to use my growing PK power, my mind, and my emotions to change Neda's physical structure and to stimulate within her a joyous cellular response. This created an inner beauty while PK created the outer beauty.
My progress at first was extremely slow, and I was becoming discouraged and doubtful that even three months would be enough to make any significant changes in Neda's facial appearance. But then, toward the end of the fourth week, I developed the clairvoyant ability to see not only her aura but all seven glandular systems and every nerve network in her body. Now I could see clearly how to direct my PK force and also the immediate results of my efforts. From that day on, my progress became so rapid that Karl went around shaking his head and muttering to himself. By the end of the fifth week I was finished with the physical transformation of Neda.
She had been five feet eight inches tall. She was now five feet ten. She had weighed 105 pounds. Now she weighed 150 pounds of sensational curvaceous female flesh. I had modeled her as a composite of Lea, Carol, and Diane of my Alpha. While I could not quite reach their perfection, I had succeeded beyond my most optimistic hopes. As for Karl, my success was almost too much. A couple of evenings after I had completed my work with Neda, he came back from one of his ever-longer visits to her apartment demanding a talk with me.