One afternoon I persuaded (with considerable telepathic effort) the head nurse and two interns that I should be allowed access to the intensive care unit, where I found Bruno. He was a small man of 45 years who was recovering from a heart attack of that morning. According to the intern who examined him he was coming along just fine. But as I examined him clairvoyantly his aura was extremely weak and I "future saw" him riding in a hearse while lying in a casket. Since both these symbols represented death I felt that I had better go to work on Bruno immediately. The moment I made contact I got quite a surprise.
Bruno had been lying quietly sleeping while I clairvoyantly examined him, but now as I reached out and touched his mind I heard him say, "Hello, Azar. It's been a long time since our paths have crossed."
Azar is the name I had in an Atlantean incarnation almost 50,000 years ago. I had been a temple priest in charge of healing. Now that I had been addressed by that ancient name I felt strongly that the mind I was now contacting had once occupied a body which I helped heal during that Atlantean incarnation. I said, "It seems that I remember you from a period in Atlantis which we shared, but how did you remember me so easily?"
With the conscious Bruno still sleeping I heard his subconscious mind saying, "If I were awake I would have no conscious memory of you. However, with my conscious mind asleep I have been free to observe ever since you entered this ward and began using telepathy to hypnotically persuade the intern to let you accompany him: I watched as you clairvoyantly examined some of the patients, and I remembered that your mind had once been clothed in a body called Azar and had healed me."
"I wasn't aware that I was being observed," I said.
"I know," Bruno answered. "Your conscious mind is still extremely limited compared to your Macro potential."
"But," I asked, puzzled, "how do you know about the Macro potential?"
"Because, dear and old friend, another cell of my soul is presently experiencing a life in 2150, which you so often visit. Yet another is deeply involved in establishing the separate culture on Micro Island. It needs to experience power and practice using it properly. By 2085 it will be dead, though," he went on.
"Wait a minute!" I stopped him. "You're here in 1976. You haven't made it to 2000 yet, much less beyond."
"No, Azar. It's you who have not yet gone beyond. I guess you've not yet truly incorporated the concept of simultaneous time into your growth pattern.
"Incidentally, I picked up from your mind your plan of attempting to prevent my evolation, which I am not going to let you do. I appreciated your help last time, but this time I don't want it."
"You mean that you don't want to live any more, and are choosing to die?"
"That's right," he answered. "And you'll find quite a few other minds in this hospital who are ready to give up their bodies."
"But why?" I asked. "You've only lived a relatively short time. You must have a family who will miss you."
Telepathically I heard him laugh and say, "When I incarnated, 45 years ago, I promised myself that I would accomplish my purpose as quickly as possible and then evolate. I've already stayed longer than I had planned."
"May I ask what your purpose was?" I inquired.
"I wanted to balance my vibrations. First I chose to be born to a woman who, in my twenty-first-century life, I will probably marry and abandon. In this life as her son I treated her kindly and have taken care of her for the last twenty years since her husband died. Six months ago she followed him."
"How can you balance negative vibrations you won't even create till fifty years in the future?" I wondered if his mind was deteriorating too.
"You will find, Azar, that the past, present, and future are all micro terms-illusions which do not exist from a Macro view. All time is simultaneous.
"Getting on with my answer to your first question, I was a jealous, possessive wife and made my husband's life a living hell. Now for twenty-five years I have been married to a woman who has done the same for me. My two children are grown and married and I leave my wife financially well off; so now I can evolate, having completed my chosen learning experience."
"But now that you've accomplished your purpose," I said, "why don't you stay around awhile and enjoy life?"
Again the sound of his laughter echoed through my mind and he said, "I go to a far better place than this planet Earth will ever be! I invite you to visit me when you perfect your astral traveling enough that you can visit some of the non-physical dimensions. 'Bye for now!"
Bruno's body convulsed; his lids snapped sharply open. Only the after-death tremors lingered. He had evolated. My whole being felt an instant of icy hollowness as I saw, staring up at me from his lifeless face, Nancy's liquid brown eyes.
Later in 2150 Rana explained that every human mind chooses when it wants to die. This choice, she explained, is not usually made, on the conscious level, but rather on the subconscious or soul level.
During the rest of the week I discovered that Bruno had been correct when he predicted that many other minds would refuse my offer to help heal their bodies. I was surprised at how many minds insisted on the value of suffering.
I remember a middle-aged woman who was seriously afflicted with arthritis. When I offered my help her subconscious mind replied, "Please don't remove my pain, for it is the motivation that will eventually force my micro self to give up its narrow selfish life habits which have psychologically crippled others and which are now crippling me. If you remove the pain I will have to start my lesson over, and I'd rather grow now."
I realized that this woman had never consciously permitted herself to be aware of these thoughts. If she could have heard her subconscious mind talking to me, she would have denied that this was her own greater self talking. When I asked her if she couldn't learn is some less painful way she replied, "I have not yet learned to accept responsibility for the harm I've done to others, so I keep taking the same old life lessons over and over. Eventually the pain will force me to break this "it's not my fault" cycle. Then I can admit my failure, forgive it, learn from it, and overcome it. It's been a long battle, but victory will come."
When I asked Rana about having to forgive yourself she explained forgiveness as acceptance. She said that when you forgive yourself you positively accept your mistakes and, thus, can learn to succeed and grow from them. However, negative acceptance, resignation, leaves one burdened with guilt until it becomes necessary to escape by inducing amnesia. It is then impossible not to make the same mistake over and over again.
She was talking about the law of love which transcends the law of karma. Only by completely responding to ourselves with loving acceptance can we look at all the aspects of the self, which includes not only the micro self, but also the Macro self. And we can only see in others what we see in ourselves (even if only in potential) and we can only love (accept) others to the extent that we love (accept) ourselves.
It wasn't until I had examined every person in our university hospital that I accepted Rana's statement that "all illness and injury is self-inflicted."
I discovered that I could heal no one unless I could first persuade them to forgive themselves. Yet, I did find quite a few patients who were ready to forgive themselves. All of these healed in record time, causing considerable consternation among hospital personnel.