"It's not that cold, Chloe." She breathed in deeply and looked around the room as if expecting someone to just pop out of the nothingness. "Was Seth here?"
"Yeah, trying to talk me out of going, or taking him with me." I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and stopped by my dresser, grabbing my debit card and slipping it in my pocket. "You smell his cologne?"
"The people in the next room over smell his cologne." She opened the door and moved back, holding it for me. "You think you guys will survive this break?"
"Nope, but he said if he found someone I would be tough out of luck so hopefully that’s the case. Maybe I’ll find someone too." I walked to the end of the hall and turned as confetti exploded from the open door just behind us.
Jess laughed and jogged past me, pushing the door open and letting the cool air move in, which beckoned us to come out and play.
"You're going to miss all the parties around here. The holidays are so much fun." Jessie pulled her keys from her pocket and held them up. "I'll drive."
We walked to her old Honda as memories assaulted me. I hadn't been to see my father for Christmas break since coming to Los Angeles five years before. He had a tradition of spending December through the end of January in Aspen, Colorado, which my brother loved. I hated it. As a kid I would live in front of the fireplace for two months, waiting for the minute we could rush back to Arizona.
No friends, no family, and nothing but a little brother and bitchy father to keep me company during those times. It left a sour taste in my mouth. The minute I arrived in the warmth of southern California, I was lost to it. No more going to the snowy mountains and pretending to love it. Living a lie was a part of my past. Hopefully.
We got in the car and Jessie tried to turn on the heat, but I playfully popped her hand back.
"It's perfect here. Don't waste your gas." Her parents were dirt-floor poor and she'd made it through college on various scholarships and several jobs. I tried to help out where I could, but Jessie Miller was proud, if nothing else.
"It's freezing in here!" She started the car and pulled out into the busy streets that ran up and down the campus.
"Girl, you don't know what freezing is." I glanced toward her as my heart constricted in my chest. "Come with me to Aspen? It's going to be so damn lonely without you."
"What?" She looked over at me and smiled. Her dark chestnut hair was a mess, like it always was. She was warm and loving, the kind of friend that no one deserved and everyone wanted. "No. I'm going to see my parents. My little sisters would never forgive me if I didn't come home for Christmas."
I let out a short sigh and turned to watch the lights of the city grow dim as we headed south to San Diego. It would be a bit of a drive, but it was one Jessie and I made often.
"You'll have to tell them why I'm not there this year." I crossed my arms over my chest and pulled my legs into the seat with me. "And save me some of your mom's fruitcake."
"They're going to be hella disappointed." She wrinkled up her nose. "You don't actually like that crap, do you? We all thought you were just being nice. Even mom thought so."
I laughed, unable to help myself. "I like tart things. It's tart."
"Yes, we know. It will pucker your mouth up like you've sucked on a lemon." She sucked her cheeks in and I rewarded her with a giggle for her efforts.
"I'm not at all looking forward to this trip. My father and I haven't been close since mom died."
"Then maybe now is the time to start working on your relationship with him." She reached out and squeezed my hand. "He's the only parent you have, and he obviously wants time with you, right?"
"I guess. He's forcing it on me. Who does that?"
"Someone who has no other choice." She gave me a knowing look and I grumbled under my breath, repeating her words like an unruly child.
She laughed and turned onto the freeway, rolling her window down and nodding to mine. "Go ahead and do it. I know you want to."
"Really?" I rolled it down and sat up in my seat. Jessie hated the wind in her hair, but I couldn't think of a better way to live.
"What if all of this was part of the master plan?" Jessie asked.
"What, my Dad dangling a carrot on the end of a string to get me to Aspen for the winter?"
"Yes. What if you meet the man of your dreams and you fall madly in love?” Jessie gave me a girlie look and I gagged dramatically.
"The man of my dreams? He would have to be sexy, sweet, funny, and have a knack for fashion." I shrugged. "Probably not happening...ever. I'll just settle eventually like most people do."
"A knack for fashion?" She laughed and snorted. "What man has a knack for fashion, and while we're on the subject, what the hell is a knack?"
"He exists. I know he does." I shrugged and slipped my hands under my thighs. "My father has a knack for fashion. His ski and snowboard line sells pretty well. He needs a better color palate to pull from and he could double his profits, but I've told him that until I'm blue in the face."
"So tell him in a different way. Maybe if he sees you in action as a designer yourself, he'll start to respect your opinion a little more. You're still just his little girl. Prove to him that you've grown into an independent woman."
"Why are we talking about my father? Back to the man of my dreams."
She chuckled and nodded. "Yes, continue as you were."
"I want him to be built more like a quarterback than a linebacker, tall and impossibly handsome."
"So like Seth?"
"Yeah, but brown hair and warm brown eyes. A great laugh too. Seth's laugh is horrible and seems so fake to me."
"Agreed. He does that shit to get attention. All the football guys do." She tapped the steering wheel as a good song came on the radio. "And he has to like your family."
"Good luck on my Dad, but my brother...yeah. He has to be a good role model too. Not a drunk or someone who sluts himself out, you know?"
"I think it's okay if he did that in his past, but not now. We're all stupid in our adolescence."
"I wasn't." I gave her a pompous look and stuck my nose in the air.
"You still are like that." She popped me in the shoulder and I laughed.
I loved a good dark beer and a party as much as the next girl, but sleeping around was out.
"The plan is simple. I'm going to spend December with my Dad, mostly focusing on my little brother, and when it's all over, I'll have a zillion designs drawn up for my clothing line and the money to get rolling on it."
25 days with my Dad and the money for my company will be mine. I can do this.
"Then you'll come back home to us?"
"To you. Yes."
"Not Seth?" Jessie glanced my way.
"Why are you so concerned about Seth?"
"I just think he's a good guy and you should be careful with his heart. I know he's head over heels for you." She shrugged.
"He wants a trophy wife, Jessie. I'd never be okay with that. I want a partnership with passion. Someone who can support my dreams and still follow their own, too."
"You don't think that's Seth?"
"Not at all. He wants me to support his dreams and smile for the cameras. Ain't happening." I huffed.
"Ain't isn't a word." She laughed and jerked out of my reach as I swatted at her.
"I love you. I'm going to miss you." I squeezed her shoulder as she turned, her eyes full of tears.