"You mean you're not available." He tightened his grip on me.
"Let me go, Finn. I have no clue what you're talking about."
"Sure you don't." He released me. "Brian told me about your boyfriend back home, Chloe. I thought maybe you'd lied to him, but then Parker told me it was true. When was I going to find out? Or was I not going to? I mean, really, does that make me the whore? Or you?"
His words were a harder slap than my hand hitting his face would ever be.
"I broke up with Seth before leaving because there was nothing left between us. I prayed for a brown haired boy with warm eyes and a big heart." Tears spilled onto my cheeks. "Someone that needed my love and would help me heal past becoming cold toward life. I thought I found him, but I was wrong."
I turned and jogged to my car as the world seemed to crash in around me. I had pinpointed exactly why Finn was so important. Somewhere deep inside of me where the crazy idea of true love existed, I thought maybe he was my someone.
I pulled out of the parking lot and drove home crying over the fear of having to grow up, and the anxiety of not being enough for my father. My heart broke over Finn thinking that I was the type of woman that would cheat on someone, and yet realizing how stupid I was being. He didn't know me.
"It's been a few weeks. Pull it together." I drove up to the house and turned the engine off before letting my head drop back and closing my eyes.
It had been so long since I'd felt the pain of loss that it was almost a welcomed reminder that I was alive. It didn't take more than a few minutes to understand why people protected themselves. It was necessary to survive in a world where people took and took and took and rarely gave.
My phone buzzed and I picked it up.
Jessie: You're on my mind. I miss you. You okay?
Me: Just got my heart broken, but other than that...I'm good.
Jessie: By Seth?
Me: No, a guy out here who's my dream guy.
The phone rang, which scared the hell out of me. I answered it and sat back, knowing Jessie would want details.
"What the hell? I told you that you were going to meet him. I'm psychic. I knew it!" Her voice was full of excitement, which was a little odd after my confession.
"Yeah, you're right. He's out here, and he's a total ass."
"Well, that parts not good. I thought maybe it was Seth."
"No. We broke up when I first got here. Besides...I think he's already moved on. He's not texting at all anymore, which is good. He can be someone else's problem."
"So about that..." Jessie stopped and realization rolled over me.
She was Seth's someone. That's why she kept asking about him, or nudging me toward finding someone else.
Right. When it rains it pours.
I hung up without another word and turned my phone on silent. Surely my Dad had a liquor cabinet. If not, I could call a cab and head back down to the club. The cute bartender would serve me beer and peanuts all night, no doubt.
Numbness settled over the center of me and I walked into the house and slammed the door behind me.
"Chloe?" My father's voice scared me, and I jumped.
"Dad?" I pulled myself together and walked into the kitchen to find him standing over a bottle of rum.
"Yeah. I canceled the trip. Sorry if you'd planned for a wild party. Consider it ruined." He gave me a smile.
I sat down at the bar across from him and nodded at the bottle. "Got an extra glass?"
"You've been crying...why?" He got out the glass and sat it in front of me.
"Where do I start?" I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my hand.
"From the beginning?" He poured me a drink and filled his back up. "Tell me all about it."
"Let's see...my best friend back at home is dating my ex-boyfriend. Mind you, we just broke up the day I came here. I assume they were sleeping together before now. Things happened too fast for something to not have been up." I took a drink as my father nodded.
"Yes. I've had that done to me and I've done it to a few friends. People are dicks. It's a common trait among most of us." He took a drink to.
"Right. I'm scared shitless that after all the time and energy that I've put into my degree that I'll end up with nothing, being nothing." I took another drink. "I don't want to let you down, but I don't want to let me down either."
"I don't see that future at all for you, but I understand your fears. I've had them for my own life."
"When you were a kid?"
"No. When your mother died. I wasn't sure where to go from there, but I figured it out. You will too." He reached over and touched my cheek. "You're going to be incredible at anything you do because you’re brilliant and you’re passionate. It's a winning combination."
"I've fallen in love with someone since coming here and he broke my heart tonight." I finished the liquor and let out a growl. "It's been like nine days or something and I've never felt like this before. I don't love easily, and I've promised myself never to love deeply, and yet..."
"You can't help yourself, right?" He gave me a knowing smile.
"Right." I tapped the glass on the counter. "More."
He filled it up again and I was grateful for him being home. It was weird, but simply getting the pain off my chest left me feeling better.
"If he's the one, then you're sitting in the wrong place right now. True love doesn't give up, baby." He pushed the glass back toward me. "Your mother broke my heart a million times before we were married, but I wouldn't stop. I was relentless, and you know what?"
"What, Dad?" Tears blurred my gaze again. Finn was angry because he was hurt. There was a reason behind it. It wasn't at all what I thought it was, but somehow I was ready to throw in the towel and pretend as if I wasn't feeling the incredible pain that I was feeling over him. The pain was proof of the emotion that lay underneath it. Whether it made sense or not... I wanted him by my side. In my bed. In my life.
"The hurt faded over the years as your mother worked to show me how much she loved me. It took no time and we were completely and totally one in all things." He looked up at the ceiling and let out a painful sound. "I miss her so much."
"I know you do, but she would want you to move on. You know she would." I got up and walked into the kitchen to wrap my arms around him.
He wrapped his strong arms around me too, and I sunk into his hold, needing it so bad.
"I know she would. I'm trying, but doing it all wrong. I'll work on it. You don't give up on this boy. Deal?"
I nodded as I held back my tears. "Deal."
Chapter 18
Finn
Kari could not have shown up at a worse time.
"Did I really call Chloe a whore?" I walked back into the restaurant as sickness rolled over me. No way I'd done that. I would never insult a woman that way. Especially not someone like Chloe.
I had. Dammit.
"There you are." Kari moved up and slipped her arm through mine. "Who was that, really? I know you and you do not have female friends."
I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and laid a twenty on the table before jerking my arm out of hers.
"Kari. Stop. Shit." I looked up at her and put my wallet up. "Leave me alone. Okay?"
"Finn. We've been friends for a long time. Don't close up on me." She moved closer, but I held up my hand.