McDowell’s words echoed in the empty valley of his mind. Stephen focused for a second to grasp them and make sense of the statement he had just heard. He wanted to respond with a calm and controlled tone that wouldn’t reveal the growing embers forming in his gut. It didn’t work.
“You can’t fire me!” Stephen commanded.
“I’m so sorry, Stephen. Besides being an employee who’s been the backbone of this company for years, you’ve been my friend and it kills me to be in this position.”
Stephen’s defensive nature fanned the flames and the ember began to burn hotter until his face was flush. “I was a Guardsman who was activated and returned wounded from war. You can’t just fire me after I return from being on active duty. There are laws against this.”
“Stephen, it’s not that.”
Stephen thought about the wealth McDowell had created over the last several years. Wealth Stephen had helped him make. Long hours and sacrifice Stephen had committed that were now being treated like it was something to be flushed down the city sewage drain. Feeling justified in his anger Stephen lashed out at McDowell personally, “You can’t fire me, terminate my job or demote me just because you’re not making enough money. If you needed to cut back then you shouldn’t have bought the latest eighty-thousand dollar Hummer model last year.”
Unresponsive to the attack McDowell drifted for a moment as his eyes reached beyond a nearby window.
“Stephen, you don’t understand.” Seemingly talking to someone beyond the cafe window he continued, his voice nearly void of all emotion. “We’re bankrupt, Stephen. All employees will be released and the doors will be closed in a week and a half just after the next payday. The final payday will only be a 75% payment. I don’t have a choice. There’s no money left and the banks have frozen our lines of credit.”
“This is crap, George!” It was the first time Stephen had ever called his mentor by his first name and by doing so, he knew he was crossing a line of professional courtesy that McDowell had generously extended to him over the years. Burning hot and raising his voice, Stephen continued his protest, “This is total crap and you know it! You got greedy. You got greedy and wanted to be some big shot who everyone would know. So you went out and you made stupid decisions that ran this company right into the ground.”
Deflated, McDowell looked away from Stephen, “You’re upset. I get that. You have every reason to be mad at me. But unfortunately, you’re also right. I’m sorry, Stephen. I truly am.”
Stephen’s anger burned as he struggled to find the right words which could express his outrage, “I can’t believe you let this happen to us.”
“Look, I’ve seen young guns like you before. You’re phenomenal at what you do and you’re absolutely going to land on your feet after this.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Stephen rebutted.
“Come on, Stephen. You’ve worked for me for years. Let me introduce you to a guy I know. This guy is an up-and-comer and he’s incredibly smart. I used to do a lot of work with his father. You know who Don Rockwell is? Ah, never mind. Honestly, the old man’s time has passed. But his son. Man, his son is a pit-bull. The two had a falling out and, well, why don’t I try to introduce you guys and see what happens.”
“Can he give me a job?” Stephen said curtly.
“I don’t know if he’s hiring right now but you never know what can happen.” McDowell appealed with a mistaken hint of cheerfulness.
“I don’t need to make new friends. I need to make money,” Stephen argued, his temperature rising with each word uttered. “I don’t have a year’s worth of padding in the bank account, George. I’m getting screwed here and I don’t have the same cushion you have. So forgive me if I’m not interested in having a brainstorming session over who I can meet at the 19th hole because I won’t even have enough money to pay for the round of golf in the first place.”
“Stephen, you’re going to be alright. I know that.” McDowell pleaded.
“That’s your conciliation? You just know I’m going to be alright? You’re kicking us all onto the street in the middle of a global economic meltdown and you can feel better just by saying I’ll be alright?”
McDowell retreated, “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I really am concerned for your well-being.”
“Your concern sounds about a year too late. You should have been more concerned when you were making decisions which would affect people’s lives instead of thinking about your own damn fame and fortune.”
Stephen looked directly at the man he had trusted with his family’s financial life. McDowell was crushed, humbled and hurting as well but Stephen felt no sympathy for the man. McDowell’s gaze retreated into a safe house of distant nothingness beyond the window. Realizing decisions had been made and that questions or even continued conversations were utterly pointless, Stephen joined McDowell’s prolonged stare through the window and cringed at the thought of how he would explain this situation to Sarah.
Mile 16
Stephen had always been a disciplined saver, much to the frustration and resistance of Sarah’s pre-deployment habits. He did his best to keep the family on a reasonable budget which helped them to live slightly below their means. But when Sarah lost her job during Stephen’s first deployment, the pay of an activated Sergeant in the Army couldn’t replace both their lost wages. Stephen’s discipline paid off and the emergency savings account did exactly what it was designed to do. In contrast to her previous spending habits, post-deployment Sarah had tactically and unemotionally cut all discretionary spending. With the determination of using a sledge hammer to open a pistachio, Sarah made it work. Despite their best efforts, the years following Stephen’s medical discharge from the Guard did not yield enough fruit for them to sufficiently recreate the savings account. Money trickled in but military benefit checks could only go so far towards a civilian family’s lifestyle. It wasn’t an extravagant lifestyle. But on top of supplemental medical needs, there were the basic needs of life and the typical obligations of a modern-day American household such as a mortgage and two car payments.
The economy didn’t just get worse, it became outright catastrophic. McDowell had been right about the impact to the major firms. Stephen watched the news daily as massive shutdowns and shotgun corporate weddings were orchestrated by the government. The banks became a joke where it was no longer a question of which ones could survive but instead how many would be closing down the coming Friday. Layoffs were announced daily and the headlines consistently suggested a deeper recession for the global markets. The job market became a flash flood of applicants. For Stephen, it didn’t matter that interviews, when he could actually get them, seemed to go extremely well. He was personable, articulate and could communicate his value well. Yet, every position Stephen applied for had ten more experienced candidates standing in front of him. Each of them with higher education, better qualifications and many more years of experience than he could tout.
Stephen lived daily with the expectation of being turned down. Many came as outright rejections by mail or telephone. Several came during a follow up call he would make to check on the application. He was surprised how many times he was told the company had changed its mind and decided not to even hire for the position. In most cases, companies did not even give the courtesy of letting him know he was no longer being considered. The peaks and valleys of potential opportunities became an emotional roller coaster for them both. Before too long, it got to the point he stopped telling Sarah about new possibilities. He hated disappointing her constantly. Eventually, she stopped asking because she hated being constantly disappointed.