“How about a library?” Grant asked. “Lots of people have some time on their hands now that their old jobs don’t exist anymore. The internet is spotty and the power might go out, so I’m thinking of a library full of real books. Hard copies. Something you can hold in your hand and take with you. You might have books lying around that you don’t read anymore, but your neighbor hasn’t read them. People could donate their books and we’d put them in a building. Depending on how many we get, and how much space it takes up, we could put them here,” Grant said motioning to the main room of the Grange. People appeared to like that idea.
A woman raised her hand. “I was a librarian,” she said. She was thrilled at the prospect of getting to be a librarian again.
“Great. Talk to me after the meeting,” Grant said.
“How does everyone get their books here when gas is so scarce?” Grant asked. No one offered an answer, but Grant had one.
“What if we had a postal service?” he asked. Of course the mail had not been delivered after the Collapse. The government was using precious fuel on getting food delivered, not on sending out junk mail.
“Well,” Grant said, “actually, more of a parcel service. Someone who made a regular route around Pierce Point picking up and dropping things off. You know how I feel about too much government,” Grant said, making another one of his not-so-subtle Patriot points, “so it wouldn’t be a ‘government’ thing like the U.S. mail. It would be a business, I’m guessing, more like UPS or FedEx. Participation would be voluntary, of course.”
Doug Smithson, the trucker who helped with the semi load of food, raised his hand. “I could do that,” he said. He didn’t say it at the meeting, but he had a 500 gallon underground tank of diesel at his place. He had a little diesel pickup truck. It would be great to be driving again. The boredom of sitting around was making him crazy. When Grant told Rich about this idea right before the meeting, Rich suggested that the parcel driver could keep his or her eyes out for things while out on the route. Doug could use his CB to report anything. It would be like having an extra patrolman. And Doug would be very well armed out there. It would be a two-fer: a “postman” and an extra patrolman. And it wouldn’t cost them any fuel. On top of all that, Doug would make some money for his services and people would get parcels delivered. Free enterprise was alive and well.
“Great,” Grant said. “You’d get paid something. You’re using valuable fuel. We’ll figure all that out.”
Someone said, “Like the Postman, that movie with Kevin Costner.” Grant had forgotten about that movie. He had never seen it or read the book, but he vaguely remembered that the story was about a guy after a nuclear war who grabs a mailman’s uniform and starts delivering mail to wiped out communities as a way to restore their hope in normalcy. There was something enormously hopeful about having a postal service when there wasn’t any other functioning government. That’s exactly what Doug the mailman would be doing. Along with moving items around, he would be restoring some sense of normalcy. There was a lot to be said for that. Grant loved the political significance of Pierce Point having a parcel service when the former government couldn’t provide it.
“Don’t worry,” Doug said, “I won’t make you wait in line while I take a break or ‘go postal’ and shoot people like the old mailmen.” That got a good laugh.
“Another idea,” Grant said, “is to get a school going. We have lots of teachers out here, like my neighbor, Mary Anne Morrell. I know some of the teachers have been talking about getting a school together, but we’ve been busy with so many things. I just encourage the teachers to get together and maybe get a school planned for the fall. I’m no educator, but I like the idea, and I bet Ralph would agree. He could plan on having the kids out of school in the summer to work on the farms.” Ralph nodded.
Grant described the census, which had just started getting worked on, but now it would be undertaken full-time by Dutch. Grant explained why a census was necessary: to know who was there, how many, and any special needs a household had. It would also help coordinate things, like meal cards. The census would be a way to find out if a household was expecting any potential guests who might be coming to the gate.
More volunteers came forward for the census work. They were older people who might not be physically capable of guard duty, but wanted to help. “If you can’t hold a rifle all day, we could still use you holding a clipboard,” Grant said. It takes both rifles and clipboards to survive.
Rich suggested that the census volunteers ride around with Doug the Mailman, which was his new nickname.
Grant smiled to himself as he watched the crowd volunteering and people displaying signs of hope. Not bad for a little hamlet of about 500 people cut off from all formal government.
Chapter 160
Snelling’s Decision
(July 1)
Sitting in the back of the Grange that night, Snelling was horrified at all this organization. He had a pretty good idea why the Patriots were so bent on a census. Snelling knew his name would have a big “L” after it. He was terrified by how Grant was replacing the legitimate government out there with an agriculture service, library, school, postal service, and census. That’s what infuriated Snelling.
What did these hillbillies think they were doing, having a “census”? Snelling wondered. Everyone knows that only highly educated federal officials could possible conduct a census. It was time to show everyone that Grant’s grand plans would fail, because Grant was a hypocrite.
Snelling raised his hand. Everyone knew fireworks were coming.
“Yes, Mr. Snelling,” Grant said in a sarcastically polite voice.
Snelling mockingly said, “Here we have the mighty Grant Matson, Mr. Constitution and anti-government, proposing a census, postal service, and library? That’s government. Those aren’t in the 200-year old Constitution.” The crowd was quiet.
Grant laughed. A big, hearty “I’m glad you said that, dumbass” kind of laugh.
“Um, Mr. Snelling, have you ever actually read the Constitution?” Grant asked.
“I’ve read about it. Extensively,” Snelling said.
“But you haven’t actually read it, right?” Grant said. “Reading New York Times editorials about the Constitution doesn’t count.” That got some laughs.
Snelling was silent.
Grant went in for the kill. “Look it up for yourself, sir. The Constitution specifically authorizes a post service and a census. A library would be the ‘progress of science and useful arts,’ which the Constitution specifically authorizes Congress to do. You know, like the Library of Congress. It’s amazing all the stuff that’s in the Constitution when you actually read it.” Grant started to laugh at Snelling. He was really enjoying this. The crowd appeared to, as well. They laughed along with Grant.
Snelling was humiliated. He had one more “hypocrite” card to play on Grant.
“Well,” Snelling said with a sneer, “you hate government, but propose an Agriculture Department and schools at Pierce Point. Where’s that in the Constitution?”
“Well,” Grant said, “the Constitution limits government—a crazy idea, to you Loyalists, I know.” That was the first time he had used the term “Loyalist,” but he thought this was a good time to break it out, given what an ass Snelling was making of himself. Might as well have the crowd equate “Loyalist” with “jackass.”