He went down the hall and knocked on her door.
“Who is it?” she called out.
“Fed Ex, ma’am,” Kyle replied. “I need a signature for this delivery.” He heard her laugh.
“Well, I guess you’d better come in then,” she said.
Kyle opened the door and stepped into her room. Rose lay on her bed facing the ceiling, her tears long since dried. “Took you long enough,” she said.
“Pardon me?”
“It took you long enough to come and check on me. How long has it been, one hour or two?’ she asked, a slight grin showing.
“Sorry, I wasn’t exactly sure how I was supposed to handle the situation. Some people like privacy, so I was torn.”
“Don’t worry about it, Kyle. Thanks for finally showing up,” she sighed.
“So you okay?”
Rose nodded. “Yes, I am. Sometimes I start to feel a little sorry for myself, that’s all.”
“What do you mean?” Kyle asked, sitting down on the bed beside her.
Rose brought both her hands up and rubbed her face, then let out a deep breath. “Over the past four days, I’ve been on quite a roller coaster of emotions: worry, fear, helplessness, excitement, happiness. You name the emotion, and I’ve probably felt it. Before you came, even before the attack, there was just boredom and loneliness, day after day, so you can imagine the change you brought. These last couple of days, I’ve really liked being with you. I guess I was hoping you’d be around longer.”
“If it means anything, of the past two months, the last two days have been my favorite.”
“That’s not saying much, is it?” she said, swatting at him with her hand. “I know your story. You’ve walked a thousand miles and almost died a half-dozen times, and that’s the best thing you can come up with?”
Kyle reached out and grabbed her hand. “Well, it doesn’t sound so good when you put it that way, but I’ve been very happy here, maybe too happy. I’m glad you found me, or I found you, however it happened. If I don’t make it home, I want you to know that I’m still glad that I made it this far.”
“Oh, damn you, Kyle. Don’t talk like that!” she said. “You’ve started me crying again.” Rose sat up and wiped her tears on her shirtsleeve. “Don’t even think that you’re not going to make it home, or else don’t go tomorrow.”
“I’m just saying that it’s been worth it to walk this far if all it meant was getting to spend these days with you.”
“I know what you meant, and I appreciate it. But you can’t seriously not think you’re going to make it. I didn’t save your life so you could die trekking through Montana.”
“Okay, I promise I’ll make it.”
“Good. I accept your promise.”
“When or if things get back to normal, I’ll send you a letter to let you know that I did make it.”
“I’ll watch my mailbox for it, so you’d better not let me down.”
Kyle leaned towards Rose and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. She returned the hug and pulled him towards her. They lay back on the bed in silence, holding each other in the darkness of the night, enjoying the contact and the feeling of safety that being with someone offered. As the first stars appeared in the sky outside the window Kyle spoke. “I won’t let you down, Rose,” he whispered. She wiped her eyes on his shoulder, and the pressure of her arms relaxed, so he sat up to leave. “It’s dark, and I want to get out at sun-up, so I should probably head to bed. I’ve got a lot of miles to make up.”
Rose reached for his arm. In the faint moonlight, he could see that her eyes were soft and pleading, and her lips trembled as she tried to find the right words. “Stay with me tonight, Kyle, if you would.”
Kyle took her hand in his and held it, staring into her eyes and feeling a storm of emotions. “I can’t, Rose… I just can’t.” Her shoulders sagged, and he felt her hand pull away. “Don’t think it’s because I’m not attracted to you. It’s far, far from that. This morning, in the bathroom, the second time I knocked at the door and you said to come in, with your voice so inviting and the image of you in the bathtub, like some Greek goddess, still fresh in my mind, it took every bit of willpower I had not to open the door. For the next hour I tried to find a way that I could justify being with you. I told myself that Jennifer would never be hurt because she would never find out. I know guys that would give their right arm to be in my shoes, and I could think of a dozen reasons why it wouldn’t be so bad.”
“And your answer’s still no?”
He nodded. “It’s still no.”
“Can I ask why?”
“I don’t know if my answer will make sense to you.”
“Try me. I’d like to understand. Maybe I’d feel better.”
“Well, these last six or seven weeks, without the constant distractions that I usually have to deal with, like work, and the TV, and the internet, you know, just the day to day things, I’ve had all the time in the world to think, and the thing I’ve realized, that really, finally, became crystal clear to me today, is that the only thing that matters, the only thing that I couldn’t stand the thought of losing, was my family — my wife and our kids. I wasn’t worried about getting the TV back, or even my job, or having a nice house to stay in. It’s Jennifer and David and Emma and Spencer. With the distractions gone, you see it. I wouldn’t deserve Jennifer’s love if I would cheat on her if I could get away with it.” He looked at Rose, her eyes were locked on his. “Jennifer wouldn’t know it, but I would, and that would be enough to make me miserable. I’ve been faithful all these years just because I should, never thinking much about it. Now I know why. It all came together for me. She deserves someone she can trust, someone who loves her completely. I can’t betray that.”
“You know that sounds pretty old-fashioned, don’t you.”
Kyle nodded and smiled. “I do, but I think the older generations were on to something.”
“Sounds like how my grandfather used to talk. He was married to my grandmother for sixty-one years. He died when she did; it just took his body six months to realize it. Guess I come across as quite the bimbo, don’t I.”
“No. Now if you’d been under the blankets with me the first day I woke up, I might have thought so, but not with how things have turned out.”
“You know, they say body heat’s a good way to treat hypothermia.”
“I’ve heard that, but it still would have been an odd way to meet.”
Rose let go of him and lay back on her pillow. “I guess I’ll be sleeping alone again tonight then.”
Kyle lay down beside her and put his arm under her head. “If it means anything, I do love you. Not the passionate, physical, Hollywood kind of love. Just the true, human, I’ll-remember-you-forever kind.”
“I guess that’s something,” Rose said and laid her arm across Kyle’s chest. “Your wife’s a lucky lady.”
Rose closed her eyes and sighed deeply as Kyle stroked her head. Within minutes, she was sleeping peacefully, and Kyle slid his arm out from under her, covered her with a blanket, and left the room.
Thursday, October 27th
Deer Creek, Montana
Jennifer trailed Spencer around the yard as he made the most of his first playtime outside in more than a week. The weather was sunny and warm, and most of the snow that hadn’t been collected and saved in the house had melted off. It felt good to be outside. The air still had a cool nip to it, but it felt fresh and sweet. The birds were enjoying the sunshine as well, singing raucously and fluttering about busily. Jennifer noticed that the grass was long, but it looked like it was finally going dormant for the winter. She knew that if Kyle could see his yard, he would be disappointed. “He’s worked so hard to get it in and to this stage,” she thought. Kyle was always a stickler for keeping the lawn manicured and having things looking just so.