No one from the university came, apart from the boy.
He thought perhaps Theo’s stepmother would scream at him, attack him, rage at him, how could you do this how could you let this happen how could you be so…
…instead she held his hand like she was comforting him, like he was a brother who needed her support, her only surviving son, and Theo’s father gave a short speech about a tragedy that could not be undone, and the next day the two of them left for their apartment in Vienna and never came back.
Return to Oxford. Exams were done the results came and Theo’s name was still on the list, he’d got a 2.1, all that gin and still got a 2.1 fancy that, and no one seemed to realise that he wasn’t there to collect it; that his name when called would be spoken at an empty seat.
The discretion clause worked its magic. When you weren’t allowed to talk about a thing, sometimes it was just easier to ignore it, pretend it had never happened. Theo Miller vanished and people wondered where he was, and those who knew…
…did not answer.
The boy went back to halls, began to pack, not sure where he was going, not sure what he was meant to do now.
Realised, as he packed, that Theo Miller’s room was untouched next door. No one had come to take his things, no one had asked him to leave, the rent had left his account automatically, somehow in the notification process his bank hadn’t been informed, the discretion clause had frightened the morgue or the police from doing their thing.
The boy packed his stuff, went back to Shawford, three trains and a bus, arrived at the station with no one to meet him but…
“We should go to the beach together. You bring blankets, I’ll bring booze.”
They lay on the beach together, Dani pressed to his side, and the boy tried to say something, to apologise, to explain that he’d cocked it all up, that his dream was dead too and more, his dream had always been a lie, always, he’d thought perhaps he had a future and it had never been true there was no future there was no dream only guilt and failure and regret and the distant memory of promised light.
And Dani said:
“They didn’t extend my contract. No point. They’ve got other kids coming up through the programme now, give the job to some sixteen-year-old, not like they need much training, let them work until they’re twenty-one then give them the shove before they have to pay full wage and you just keep thinking, don’t you, you keep thinking…”
The next morning there she was, with Andy. She was going to dump him. She knew she would. It was just… really hard. Because once he was dumped, what was she supposed to do?
What was she supposed to do?
Their eyes met, and he walked on by and did not look back.
Went to the train station.
Threw his phone out of the window.
Took three trains and a bus.
Back to Oxford. Back to the safe place that had always been a lie, he never should have been there, he was never going to make it. Some mad fantasy of his patty-line dad, some hilarious criminal’s joke.
At the careers centre the woman said:
So maths but no sponsor?
Internships, perhaps, a couple of years of unpaid internships and you could absolutely… do you have any contacts, or does your family have any contacts who might be…
and your father is
I see
for
driving the van.
Well I’m not saying it’s going to affect your career prospects, not at all, it’s just that… well, people might see and be somewhat… you know.
And most people who do your course have sponsorship
the banks
the defence firms
the Company
it’s all about derivatives about the way in which money works, about
well.
Well.
It is so good that someone like you thinks of applying.
The day before he had to go
Back to Shawford, perhaps. Back dragging his heels, too educated to work down the chippy, too tainted to work in a bank.
Back to… wherever the hell he was meant to go next, head full of numbers and wallet full of £17.28.
He used a knife to force the lock to Theo Miller’s room.
Let himself inside.
Sat on Theo’s bed.
Flicked through his clothes.
Opened the envelope from the university reminding him of his new degree, congratulating him on his success, inviting him to attend the graduation ceremony. Unanswered emails on the laptop, which Theo had never properly password-protected. Interviews. Prospects. Future shimmering like dawn’s first light.
Ran his fingers down the black gown on the back of Theo’s door, longer sleeves than the boy had ever had, a scholar’s sleeves, indicative of great academic promise, a badge of honour and…
Picked it up.
Tried it out for size.
Swirled, feeling the sleeves flap limply around his body.
Stared at his face in the mirror.
Pushed his hair back from his forehead. Wondered how he’d look with a beard.
Found Theo’s passport in a shoebox at the bottom of the cupboard.
Sat a while longer on the edge of the bed.
Put the passport in his pocket and went to the local pharmacy to get some new photos taken.
Chapter 35
A few days after Dani died, Theo returned to work.
His grandmother’s funeral had been very sad very sad indeed but also it was her time and he didn’t really want to talk about it…
Which was a relief, as no one wanted to talk to him about it either.
A few good cases had come through. A wealthy landlord had burned alive a former tenant who was harassing him for the return of his deposit. The case was especially lovely because it turned out the tenant was a trustee for a charity that helped terminally ill children visit petting zoos and all in all…
…£600,000, maybe even £700,000 for the murder?
The accused’s lawyer would probably barter it down to £590,000, but even so, it was an open-and-shut case and best of all, the killer could pay, it was bonus time at the Criminal Audit Office.
“My grandmother died last month,” mused Charlotte Burgess as they stood in the food queue together at lunch. “Her last words were ‘I should never have kept that damn cat.’”
The two of them considered this in silence, and Theo ordered the jacket potato with cheese and beans.
£6700 for the investigation costs because they had to do a test on the knife after the coppers decided that the
yes well the thing is she had two kids and also helped at the local community centre so that’s an extra £15,000 for the
you robbed a man with insurance the policy covers a minimum indemnity of £20,000 well that’s just how it works with
knock off ten grand because actually the guy was asking for it and
He submitted the Cumali case in the afternoon. After due consideration, charges were dropped to manslaughter, and the indemnity set at £84,000. If Edward was pleased, he didn’t show it, and Mala Choudhary sent Theo an email congratulating him on his good sense.
Theo cycled home faster than he’d ever ridden before, swerving through London streets, a driver opened her door to shout at him you stupid bloody wanker what the hell do you think…
He was gone before she could get to the juicy bits.
He picked up Dani’s phone from its hiding place above the spice cupboard in Mrs. Italiaander’s kitchen—the phone she’d thrown from the window, the one the police hadn’t found and lost—and cycled to Streatham Hill. The sun was already down, the air cold enough to make the grass crackle beneath his feet.