“But Veronica is every guy’s dream girl,” he whined and then smiled. “Until she opens her mouth.”
Kirk started to say something, but Jamie jabbed him in his ribs.
“No need to take it to the gutter,” Jamie warned him.
From that point on, their ‘get to know you’ dinner began to be fun. Kirk’s father was a Lutheran minister, and he was from San Diego. He was a junior majoring in English and had two younger sisters who were still in high school. Kirk planned to either be a writer or possibly a teacher when he graduated.
David had thought that everyone in the dorm had money and asked Kirk about it. He explained that his grandfather was wealthy, and both his father and he had trust funds.
Jamie’s parents were professors at USC, and they both taught in the Marshall School of Business. She explained that while her parents made a good living as professors, most of their money was made through savvy investments and consulting. She was also a junior and a business major. Jamie commented that David might run into her parents, Gerald and Julia Stratton, in some of his upper-level business courses.
Lindsey was from Seattle. Her father had died in an accident when she was ten. When she was twelve, her mother had gotten remarried to a Microsoft executive. Lindsey was an undeclared freshman and apparently changed her mind about her future major weekly.
David made a mental note to tell Coach Farrow that the food was every bit as good as he suspected. He doubted he could find a local restaurant that served a better meal.
When they were done, Kirk made an announcement.
“It’s time to initiate you into the group. Let’s show Allen our secret spot.”
If they hadn’t looked happy, David might have worried.
On the top floor, on the other side of the elevators, there was a door. David had assumed it was a janitor’s closet. It turned out to be a narrow stairwell that led to the roof. It had one of those emergency exit crash bars that set off an alarm when opened, but someone had disabled it.
“Welcome to our little slice of paradise,” Kirk said.
Their secret spot included three park benches surrounding a portable fire pit. There was also a cooler and a small stack of firewood. Kirk got busy starting the fire while Jamie grabbed four beers.
“I don’t drink,” David said as he handed the beer back to her.
“How are we ever going to get you laid if you’re a virgin and you don’t drink?” Lindsey asked.
“What makes you think Allen’s a virgin?” Jamie asked with an amused look at David.
“Tell her, Allen,” Lindsey said.
“I was brought up to never talk about stuff like that,” he said, acting put out.
Kirk laughed.
“Yeah, he’s a virgin.”
“I’ll have to help you lose your V-card,” Lindsey said.
“I’m flattered, but we’re not even engaged,” David said seriously.
“I didn’t...” Lindsey sputtered.
“You’re completely off your game,” Kirk said to Lindsey. “He totally got you again.”
“If you want my help, you better start being nice to me,” Lindsey warned.
Everyone got settled on a bench. It was a perfect night for a fire since it had cooled off after the sun had gone down. They all took a moment to watch the flames dance.
“Who gets to pick tonight’s topic?” Kirk asked.
“Topic?” David asked.
“When we get together, we like to talk about something. Our last one was ‘why are males fascinated with big boobs?’” Lindsey shared.
“I have one. Pet peeves,” Jamie said to kick the discussion off and then added, “And it has to relate to something that happened over break.”
“I have one,” Kirk said. “What’s the deal with the new cameras?”
They all looked at him funny because they had no idea what could be wrong with a camera.
“I remember when a picture was taken, there used to be a click or flash to tell you it had been taken. At least then you could go back to whatever you were doing. With the new cameras, there’s nothing. My mom insisted on getting photos of all of us. My mentally challenged cousin was put in charge of taking the pictures. He would point the camera at us and then just stand there. With no idea if he’d taken the snap or not, we all stood there with stupid grins plastered on our faces. We couldn’t move until he lowered it. I think he left it up just to mess with us,” Kirk complained.
David filed that tidbit away because it was so right. He wondered how long he could get people to pose.
Lindsey was next.
“At what point are you so comfortable with your significant other that you can tell them that they’ve gained too much weight?”
Both boys rolled their eyes. There was no way they were commenting on that.
“My boyfriend decided when he picked me up at the airport that I was much sexier before I gained my freshman fifteen. He gave me the goal of losing it all by New Year’s Eve.”
’Damn. And he’s still her boyfriend?’ David wondered.
“Binge drinking and eating pizza for breakfast does that to you,” Kirk commented.
Both girls glared at the boys.
“He said it,” David said, holding his hands up in case a beer can came flying his way.
“Continue,” Jamie said.
“I’ve dieted before, so I was trying to figure out which one to go with...” Lindsey started, but David interrupted her.
“How much did you want to lose?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Lindsey asked.
“Knowing how much and the time frame would have helped you make a good choice,” he said innocently.
This time she figured out David was playing with her and ignored him.
“I first thought I would just do the ‘starve yourself silly until you pass out’ diet. Everyone knows that you can’t start that one right before Christmas,” Lindsey said.
David blinked a few times because that made no sense to him. He knew better, but he asked anyway.
“Why?”
“It’s the same for Thanksgiving, Easter, and all the major holidays. It’s because that’s when the best food is available,” Jamie explained.
“I’m surprised you didn’t wait until the following Monday,” Kirk offered.
“I already regret this, but again I have to ask, why?” David asked.
“Everyone knows you can’t start a diet over the weekend. You have to work your way up to it, especially if you just got home. You have to get takeout from all your favorite restaurants that you missed while you were away at school,” Lindsey explained.
“So, did you start your ... what did she call it?” David asked.
“‘Starve yourself silly until you pass out’ diet,” Kirk provided.
“Oh, yes. Did you start the ‘starve yourself silly until you pass out’ diet on Monday?” David asked.
“No,” Lindsey said.
David couldn’t wait to hear why not. Lindsey finally enlightened him.
“I was putting together my shopping list in my head so I would be prepared. I would need to buy bran cereal and nonfat milk for breakfast. For lunch, I would get nothing because everyone knows that you have to tough it out. For dinner, I would have an apple so I’d get some fruit into me,” Lindsey said.
“And...” David prodded.
“I remembered that the last time I tried that diet, I lasted until midafternoon when I ate a whole chocolate cake. It sort of defeated the purpose. I decided instead to do the one where you eat small portions but eat multiple times a day. I thought I was doing really well on it the first week until I weighed myself, and I’d gained two pounds,” Lindsey said.
“Did you strip off and put the scales on the right type of surface?” Jamie asked.
David knew that he was destined to play straight man for this group if he kept asking the obvious questions, but he had to hear this one.
“Right surface?”
“Totally,” Jamie said, like David was clueless, with Lindsey nodding her agreement. “It can make three to five pounds difference, depending on where you put the scales.”