“And how you stand on it,” Lindsey said to pile on. “And ... I made sure to blow all the air out of my lungs.”
David looked at Kirk, and he just nodded his agreement that it sounded logical to him. David decided he would ask Cassidy about that later.
“Did you figure out what went wrong?” David asked instead.
“To be honest, it might have been what I was eating. Mini Snickers bars, mini bags of chips, mini cheese spread with mini crackers. I blame the people that made ‘mini’ items. They made it too easy for me. Then again, it might have been the ‘often’ part of the diet. I did that part very well,” Lindsey said.
“Did you lose your weight by New Year’s?” David asked.
“No. I just told Finn that there was more of me to love now.”
“How did he take that?”
“Not well, until I told him that the alternative was having nothing to love,” Lindsey said.
“My pet peeve is public restrooms,” Jamie announced.
“Those are the worst,” Lindsey agreed.
David decided he was done digging for the ‘why’ of it.
“Why?” Kirk asked.
David mentally wanted to gouge out Kirk’s eyes.
“You’re there for a purpose, but you can’t do it if there are other people there. No one wants to hear you ... you know,” Jamie said.
“Just wait until they leave,” David said, not being able to stop himself.
“That’s just it. They never leave. They’re busy washing their hands, checking their hair, taking pictures in the mirror. Don’t get me started about how it goes if there are two or more in there,” Jamie said.
“And...” Lindsey started.
“I hate it when people are late,” David said.
David was even more confused when they all began to clap.
“You are officially initiated. You survived the ‘pet peeve’ game. We would have kept going until you finally told us yours,” Kirk said to clue him in.
David wasn’t sure whether he hated them all or whether they were geniuses.
David woke up the following morning to his phone ringing. He glanced over at the clock and saw he’d slept in. The caller ID said it was Fritz, his head of security.
“What’s wrong?” David asked.
“I sent you a video. You need to show it to your roommate.”
“Why?”
“Just watch it, and you’ll understand.”
“I have two other matters for you. The residents are propping open the doors from the common room. Is there some way to have them open during the day and closed at night?”
“I’ll look into that,” Fritz promised.
“Also, there’s access to the roof. The door has been messed with, and the alarm turned off.”
“I’ll get it fixed.”
“Not so fast. My new friends and I are using it as a hangout spot. I want us to be able to get out but keep intruders from coming in,” David explained and then caught how dumb it would be if he couldn’t get back in. “And let us come back in.”
Fritz chuckled, probably because he’d already had the delightful thought of David and his friends being trapped on the roof.
After dragging himself out of bed, David turned on his PC. He had to reduce the size of his browser. With it full-sized, he had to crane his neck to see it all. Who knew you could have too big a monitor?
He found the video on his cloud account and watched it. Yep, he needed to talk to his roommate.
David pulled on a pair of sweats and went out to the main room. Alex was playing a racing game this time.
“You’re up!” Alex said. “You have to go to the coffee shop on the corner.”
“Why?”
“They have a new barista. The guys on the soccer team told me about her. I went this morning, and she is even better than advertised. Think Goth Barbie,” Alex enthused.
That did generate an image, one that was arousing in a naughty-girl kind of way.
“Do they serve tea?” David asked.
“Who cares? When you see her, you’ll order whatever they’re offering,” Alex predicted.
“I’ll go check her out,” David assured Alex. “We need to talk about leaving the door open.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Watch this,” David said as he handed Alex his tablet.
It showed their main room with the door wide open and no one around. In walked Veronica with the two guys David had seen at dinner. Veronica went behind the bar and pulled out a bottle of rum.
“Fucking bitch,” Alex seethed.
“It gets better,” David assured him.
One of the guys picked up Alex’s game controller, stuffed it down his pants, and rubbed it on his junk. Alex tossed it out of his hand as if he’d just been told it was coated with anthrax. The video ended with the three of them laughing their asses off as they waltzed out.
“We might have to buy new controllers because I’m not sure which one it was,” David said.
“I’d hoped this semester would be different,” Alex said. “But it’s on.”
“What’s on? What happened?” David asked.
“Prank wars. Kirk and those guys were the usual targets of the townies. They did stupid stuff like shaving-cream bombs, switching jock-itch medication with Bengay, dumb stuff. A truce was called when Veronica’s hair was dyed purple. Someone tampered with her shampoo,” Alex explained.
“I’m not sure I want to participate in something like that. I’m here for school and sports,” David pushed back.
“Have it your way, but when you get pranked, you’ll come around,” Alex predicted.
It might be best to have some contingency plans. David would have to find out what a shaving-cream bomb was, though.
Chapter 9
David
David had gotten lazy over the last week. Today was the first day of school, so he wanted to get back on track. He’d gotten up at the crack of dawn to go running. It was officially winter, so David had worn baggy sweatpants and a hoodie along with his glasses, as much to stay warm as for a disguise.
He’d kept his run short because he knew that he had baseball tryouts that afternoon. Somehow, David found himself at the coffee shop before he went back to the dorm. All he’d heard for the last 24 hours was talk about this hot Goth barista. The guys were all infatuated because she wasn’t the typical California girl. Let’s just put it out there: the USC campus was a target-rich environment by anybody’s standards. What had David intrigued was that this ‘Goth Barbie,’ as they were calling her, had seemed to catch all their attention. For that to happen, she had to be extraordinary.
The shop had just opened, and he was the only customer in the place. There was music pumping, and no one was behind the counter, so he took a moment to look around at the décor. The walls were covered with vintage band posters, which, along with the music, gave the place a fun vibe. He wandered toward the back to see what else there was to see of the coffee shop.
He turned around and found a large mahogany-skinned woman who looked to be in her thirties, checking him out. She wore vintage clothes covered by an apron with the coffee shop’s logo.
“Mmm, now we’re talking! I like me a fine-assed big boy. Come here and give me a hug.”
She moved in with her arms spread to hug him, the woman reached up, grabbed his head, and pulled it down. David found his nose buried between two giant aproned boobs as she held his head in place. It felt like he was being smothered by two plump pillows. She smelled like French roast and lilac body wash.
“Doreen, let the poor man go,” another woman said.
“Sorry, no can do. If I let him go, he’ll take one look at your skinny ass and won’t look my way again.”
If David hadn’t found the banter amusing, he might have tried to wiggle free.
“You better let him up, or you might smother him. Besides, you’re about to scare away our only customer while you sexually harass him.”
“Fine, but I call dibs on this one,” Doreen said as she released her grip on David’s head.