Alex got up and high-fived his roommate.
“That’s what I’m talking about. Our Boy Scout is working on his merit badges,” Alex said like a proud papa.
David scowled at both of them.
“I can barely get my thumb and fingers to touch,” Chloe said, mimicking Yong. “God, it’s so thick.”
David thought she should follow in her mom’s footsteps and become an actress. That really did sound like Yong.
Chloe even nailed the facial expression of wonder when Yong held his dick.
“It’s not the size of the wand, it’s the wizard using it,”
Alex said like he knew what he was talking about. Then he stepped in it. “I’d do your roommate. She’s a little skinny, but … ow!”
Chloe must have learned that from Cassidy.
David grabbed a couple of slices of pizza and got up to go to his room.
“The conversation was stimulating as always,” David said, acting snooty.
“People need to know who you’re banging,” Alex said with a smirk.
David flipped them both off as he went to his room.
When he got there and turned on his PC, there was an email from Adrienne. He opened it and read the one line.
‘You’re a daddy!’
It took David a moment, but then he rocked back in his seat. Adrienne had told him she was going to get the Plan B
pill. He picked up his phone and called her.
“What the fuck, Adrienne?!” David asked.
“I know, right? I totally blanked getting that taken care of. Here’s our problem. Tyler found out and is over the moon that we’re having a baby, so I’m going to have it.”
“Before you make that call, here’s my mom’s number.
Call her and give her the good news. I plan to lock myself in my room for the next couple of weeks,” David said.
“I’ll have Tyler call her,” Adrienne said, probably the smartest idea she’d ever had.
“Good luck with that,” David said and hung up.
Fifteen minutes later, his phone rang. It was his mom.
Vast experience told him to answer and get it over with.
But he almost caved and was about to cancel the call when his stupid thumb answered.
“You have an eight a.m. appointment with the vet to cut your balls off.”
David could hear his dad laughing in the background.
Then his mom turned on his dad. “You’re going with him.”
David bit his tongue because his dad was no longer laughing. His mom had made this threat before, but he was pretty sure she meant it this time. It wouldn’t surprise him if she convinced Cassidy to shoot him with a tranq gun. He would end up in some backwoods vet’s office having his nuts shaved and a cone on his head so he couldn’t lick them.
“This time, it was an accident, and Adrienne promised me she was taking care of it,” David said to defend himself.
“Tyler told me that the condom broke, and Adrienne never got around to getting the Plan B pill. But you didn’t follow up and make sure it was taken care of,” Carol pointed out.
David didn’t have anything to say to that. The simple truth was that he trusted Adrienne and didn’t think it was more than she said it was.
“There’s nothing I can do about it now but face it. I’ll have Ms. Dixon get that family lawyer who set everything up for the other kids to set up something similar for Adrienne and Tyler’s baby,” David said.
His mom sighed.
“As much as I want to be mad, I hope she has a baby girl,” Carol said, going into grandma mode.
David kept his opinion about the baby’s gender to himself.
Secretly, he was glad that Adrienne was the one pregnant and not Tyler. Nothing against Adrienne’s partner; it was just that he and Adrienne would make a beautiful baby. He or she might rival Coby, who he had with Pam, who’d been the runner-up for Miss Teen California.
The other reason he was glad was that Adrienne and his progeny would not be added to his herd. If it were a boy, he might not survive four older brothers. If it were a girl, Little Carol would have a backup. Not that she needed it, but his boys would be in trouble. Hell, the world might be in trouble.
The one thing that kept him from melting down was that he’d had time to wrap his head around helping Tyler and Adrienne have a baby. He knew his mom would calm down after a few days.
It also made him think his mom was right. He would have to seriously consider having a medical procedure done during the offseason. He understood it was reversible if done right. That would be just in case when he got married that his new wife wanted a child of her own. But honestly, did he need any more little Dawsons running around? Hell, Phil hadn’t even started yet.
◊◊◊
The following day, David was outside the football building waiting for his date, Rachel. There was a knock on his passenger-side window, and he looked over and saw Coach Farrow, Rachel’s father. David unlocked the door, and the coach got in.
“I hear you’re taking my little girl to dinner tonight.”
“I am.”
“She doesn’t seem to be your usual type. And anyway, I thought you were dating Crystal,” Coach Farrow said.
“Are you saying your daughter isn’t hot enough for me?
That she’s like a magnet? Attractive from the back, repulsive from the front?” David asked as his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline.
“I’m going to ignore what you just said. I’m trying to protect my daughter, and I’m worried you’re toying with her feelings,” Coach Farrow said.
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead, but since you’re here, what’s her dowry? Is it sufficient to support us until she gets a good-enough job to pay our bills and keep me in gaming gear?”
David timed his comment to coincide with Rachel walking up. He jumped out of the car, ran to the passenger door, and opened it. Rachel locked eyes with her dad.
“What … what are you doing here?”
Coach Farrow was a terrible liar. David simply stood back and watched the car wreck happen.
“Uhm … uhm … we were talking football.”
Rachel looked at her dad and then glanced at David, who was micro-shaking his head ‘no’ to let her know that wasn’t it.
“You want to try again, or do you want to get out of the car so I can go on my date?” Rachel asked.
Coach Farrow had had enough. He got out of David’s car and walked back to the football building. David offered Rachel his hand to assist her in getting into his car. When she was safely inside, he shut it and ran around to get into the driver’s seat.
“What were you two really talking about?”
David gave her his best smile and said, “Your dad was making sure my intentions toward you are pure.”
“Are they?”
“Hell, no. I plan to charm you into my bed before the night’s out,” David said like it was the most obvious thing
in the world.
Rachel chuckled.
“It’s refreshing to hear the truth for a change. That is, unless you plan to put a spell on me to make me your slave.”
“I wish, but I draw a line in the sand on that one. I’m not willing to take a razor blade to my dick to extract blood.”
“Balls,” Rachel clarified.
“That either. How about I do it the old-fashioned way and feed you dinner and drinks? That way, you’ll feel obligated to do stuff when we go back to my place,” David said.
“Let’s try that and see how it works out for you.”
She didn’t sound very confident in his plan. But he was David Frickin’ Dawson. Alex claimed that all he had to do was look at a girl, and her panties would drop. His friend wouldn’t lie to him … or would he?