Hosea wiped his brow and rubbed his sweaty hand on his shorts. “Gad, it’s hat,” he said out loud like an American in a sauna somewhere in Texas. Knutie and Bonsoir can’t be having a, a thing, can they? he thought to himself, remembering the young men in the city Lorna hugged and cracked jokes with. If I wasn’t so old, he thought, if I wasn’t Indiana Jones’s pappy, I’d understand. Hosea quickly tugged at his shirt front and dropped his shoulders in an attempt to appear relaxed. No, can’t be, he thought. He knew Max and Knute were a happy couple these days … he’d been hoping Max would leave town again, mysteriously disappear like before, in fact he was sure it would happen, and now … it wasn’t happening. But of course he was happy for Max and Knute and Summer Feelin’, he just, dammit, he just needed Max to leave. He needed somebody to leave, anybody really, he had thought Max would be the natural choice. But S.F. loves him, she knows him now, how could he hope Max would disappear …“Fucking hell!” said Hosea. He looked down at the neatly ironed crease in his shorts and his pale legs and thought about the Prime Minister, about Lorna, Euphemia, his own unborn child, and what a doofus he was. To hope that a child’s father would disappear so that he, an adult, a responsible mayor and soon-to-be father, could have one afternoon with his own dad, alleged dad, not even …“Oh for fuck’s sakes,” Hosea said again. He waved to Knute and then to the doctor who had left Knute standing, soaked, in the sunlight, and was now walking east down Main towards the hospital. And was that, dammit, it was, thought Hosea, it was Bill Quinn trotting along beside the doctor like a self-righteous St. Bernard on a life-saving mountain trek. Hosea slowed down and drove up beside the doctor and the dog.
“Hello there,” he said. “I’ve been trying to get rid of that dog for weeks now, and here he is again …”
“Ah, Hosea,” said the doctor, ignoring his comments, “I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” Hosea stopped his car and the doctor came over and leaned in through Hosea’s open window. “Oh, nice belt,” said the doctor. Hosea was about to say “Thanks, it’s a Native American blah blah blah,” but the doctor said, “So, this is the thing. I’ve had an offer from a big hospital in Indianapolis, it’s a teaching hospital with a good reputation, it’s in a great neighbourhood, it’s altogether a great offer, and the money, of course, is much better, not that that’s your fault or anybody’s, it’s just fact.”
Hosea cleared his throat and nodded, “And?” he said. He smiled and glanced for a second at Bill Quinn, who was lying on the hot sidewalk licking his balls. Bill Quinn lifted his head for a moment, winked at Hosea, and then resumed his position, head bowed and bobbing, back leg sticking straight up in the air.
“And,” said the doctor, “I don’t know what to do.”
“Hmmm,” said Hosea. “I can understand that.” Leave! he thought to himself, Go to Indianapolis! Take Bill Quinn with you!
“I kind of like Algren,” said the doctor. “Especially now that summer is here, it’s an easy place to live, you know, an easy place to practise. I wish I could take on a few more challenges professionally, but then again, that may be overrated. I think people like me here, maybe—”
“Oh no, for sure, Doctor,” said Hosea. “They like you for sure. I know I do …” and he really did, he always had. He admired the doctor’s easy ways and his unfailing professionalism and dedication. And they will in Indianapolis, too, he thought sadly, and happily at the same time. This could be the one. The one to leave and make Algren’s population a perfect fifteen hundred. He could easily get another doctor immediately after July first, or so he hoped. The doctor and Hosea smiled at each other like a couple of kids.
“Thanks, Hosea,” said the doctor. “I like you, too.” He patted Hosea on the shoulder and Hosea smoothed down the front of his Canada T-shirt. He nodded.
“Good,” he said. He looked down at his white tube socks and back up at the doctor’s smiling face. “Good,” he said again, awkwardly patting the hand the doctor had rested on Hosea’s shoulder for the time being. Is this a French thing? he thought. He might kiss me.
“So, anyway,” said the doctor, much to Hosea’s relief, “I don’t know what to do.” A few drops of water fell from the doctor’s hair onto Hosea’s lap. How soon would this happen? thought Hosea, trying to remember what highway you take from Algren to Indianapolis. “At least,” the doctor continued, “I didn’t know what to do until this morning.”
“Oh,” said Hosea, “what happened this morning?” He used the heel of his right hand to smooth the drops of water into his shorts and immediately felt a sharp pain from the scar on his palm.
“Genvieve called and told me she’d be willing to move here if she could set up a darkroom and do her photography. I told her I had this offer to go to Indianapolis and she said if I did I could just, how do you say that, get out of her life …”
Of course she did, thought Hosea, hating all women for a split second and feeling intensely ashamed of himself. “Well,” he said, “does she want you to move back to Montreal?” The doctor shook his head and more drops of water fell onto Hosea’s shorts.
“No, no,” said the doctor. “That’s the thing. Now she wants to get out of Montreal, she’s tired of all this yes, no, yes, no business, so she’s decided to marry me and move to Algren.” The doctor was beaming. Hosea willed himself to smile back.
“That’s great,” he said meekly. “Wonderful. Wonderful news.” Hosea shook his head slowly as if to indicate the wonder of life and all its sudden glory.
“Well,” he cleared his throat, “I’m very happy that you’ll be staying in Algren. Your services have been … impeccable. And I’m really looking forward to meeting Genvieve.” Hosea stuck his hand out the window. “Put her there, Doc. Congratulations.”
The doctor put both his hands over Hosea’s and said warmly, “Thank-you, Mayor Funk.” Bill Quinn had stopped licking his balls and was fast asleep in the middle of the sidewalk. Hosea heard the faraway sound of a child laughing and a mother calling, “Come here right now and put your sun hat on. I mean it. Come here right now.”
“Well,” said the doctor, “I’d better be getting to work. Care to join me on my rounds today, Hosea? I know how much you enjoy visiting the hospital—”
“No, no,” said Hosea, smiling. “I’ll leave it to you. Say, when is your girlfriend coming?” He glanced at Bill Quinn. Had that damn dog cocked his ear just then? Was he listening to everything Hosea said? Hosea wiped his brow. I may need medication, he thought.
“Oh, in the fall,” said the doctor. “She has some loose ends to tie up over there, you know …”
“In the fall,” Hosea repeated. Thank the Good Lord Jesus Christ Almighty, amen, he thought. “Well,” he said, “in the fall. Lovely. That’s lovely.”
The doctor nodded. “I’m happy,” he said. “I love her.” Hosea was about to say, me too, but said instead, “I’m sure you do.”
The doctor whistled at Bill Quinn and said, “C’mon, boy, I’ll give you some leftover tuna casserole from the cafeteria … See ya, Hosea.” Bill Quinn leapt from the sidewalk, had a quick piss on one of Hosea’s tires, and left with the doctor. Hosea stayed where he was and looked at the position of his hands on the steering wheel. Ten to two, he thought. He remembered that stupid joke Tom had told him: “Hey, Hose, when’s it time for you to use a rubber? Ten to two, get it? Get it? The arms on the clock are the girl’s legs, get it?” Hosea had hated that joke. He hadn’t got it at first but when he did get it, he hated it. He hadn’t known what a rubber was and he’d never had sex in his life. At least, he hadn’t thought he had. Hosea moved his hands on the steering wheel to six o’clock. “And keep it on,” he heard the woman’s voice coming from far away. “If I see that sun hat lying on the ground you’re coming in for the rest of the day. And I mean it.”