‘I’m already married,’ she said, before she could stop herself, and she watched as his face changed.
‘What-?’
‘I’m married to Ben,’ she said stupidly.
‘Ben was killed two years ago.’
‘Yes, but…’ She took a deep breath, searching for…Searching for she didn’t know what.
‘I can’t remember him properly,’ she said inconsequentially. ‘I can’t remember the way he held me. I can’t-’
‘Jenny, it’s natural.’
Was it? She felt her heart clench with a well-remembered pain. Ben was dead. Move on, people said. Her own mother-in-law…Let Ben go. And she had tonight. For the first time she had. But to have this moment become a decision about the rest of her life…
Ben, her heart screamed. Ben. I’m not ready to let you go.
‘He’s my husband,’ she whispered. ‘He’s in my heart. I thought you at least would know that.’
Guy stood, gazing down at her in the silence.
‘I do know that.’
‘Then why…?’
‘You make me feel different.’
‘You make me feel different, too,’ she said, and she put her hand up to his face and cupped the curve of his jaw. The feeling she had then…it was indescribable. Say yes, her heart screamed. Say yes before he changes his mind.
‘I can’t do it,’ she whispered. ‘You must see it’s impossible.’
‘Why is it impossible?’
‘Henry…’
‘Henry would come with us,’ he said strongly, taking her hands in his, trying to make her see where his thoughts had taken him. ‘You can’t tell me he’s getting optimal medical treatment here. The world’s best doctors are in New York.’
She stilled. ‘You’d take us both to New York?’
‘Of course.’
‘But our home is here.’
‘I have a massive apartment in Manhattan. You can see the Statue of Liberty from-’
‘Our home is here.’ Her voice was flat, without inflexion, and suddenly desperately weary. ‘Do you think I could leave Lorna?’
‘Lorna has Jack.’
‘She does. And she has me. And she has Henry. We’re family, Guy.’
‘You don’t need family.’
‘At Christmas?’ she whispered. ‘You’re saying that two days before Christmas? That I don’t need a family?’
‘Hell, Jenny…’
‘This is ridiculous,’ she said, trying hard to be strong. ‘We hardly know each other.’
‘And yet you feel what I’m feeling.’
‘I don’t.’
‘Jenny,’ he said, and the hands holding her shoulders suddenly firmed. ‘You’re lying.’
Of course she was lying. Whatever he was feeling she was feeling, too. Multiplied by about a thousand. He drew her into him, his lips met hers, and she felt…She felt…
Heat.
The word slammed in her mind as the sensation slammed through her. Heat. A conflagration that was all-consuming, starting from her lips and flooding through the rest of her. As if she was dry tinder and a match had been held to the all-too-ready fuel.
She wanted him with every inch of her being. Her lips opened under his. She welcomed him with joy. Her hands came around his chest and tugged him closer.
Guy.
The kiss went on and on. Neither could stop it. Why should they?
Guy had asked her to marry him. This man who was holding her, who was making her feel as if life itself could start now…
Guy.
He was her employer.
The thought slammed into her mind and somehow it steadied her. The thought had her remembering that her feet were planted on Sandpiper Bay ground-and had to stay that way. Somehow she tugged back, and Guy gazed down at her in the moonlight, concerned.
‘What is it, sweetheart?’
What right did he have to call her sweetheart? She loved it, she decided. But…she couldn’t.
‘Guy, leave it,’ she demanded, and he let her take a further step back. The fact that her body was screaming to remain in his hold had to be ignored. It must be.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘If you weren’t my boss I’d slap your face,’ she managed.
‘Why?’
‘For taking liberties.’
‘You want to be kissed.’
‘I don’t.’
‘You do.’ He was teasing her with his eyes. He was smiling down at her. And there was such…love?
She was imagining it. Love? No.
She was married to Ben.
‘I still love Ben,’ she said, and tilted her chin.
‘Maybe I still love Christa. But it’s memories that we love, and memories make cold bedfellows.’
‘You want me in bed?’ She’d started to shake, and it wasn’t from cold. Bed with this man…Bed with Guy…
‘A man would have to be inhuman not to want you in his bed.’
She could do it, she thought. She could just step forward into this man’s invitation and let her life be taken over.
She could be Guy Carver’s wife.
The thought scared her witless. She steadied, trying desperately to see his invitation for what it was.
For some reason he wanted her. Well, maybe that wasn’t so strange. Because she wanted him, too.
But he was a billionaire, and he lived in New York in a massive apartment. Henry would have the best doctors, and she…She…
She’d be Guy Carver’s wife.
It seemed so ridiculous that she almost laughed. Almost.
‘You don’t even know me,’ she whispered. ‘You don’t know Henry.’
‘I know that I want you.’
‘But I…’ She tilted her chin again and met his gaze, knowing what had to be said and knowing she had to say it. ‘Guy, I want family.’
‘I’m offering-’
‘Your name. Your millions. It’s a fantastic offer.’ She managed a rueful smile. ‘There’s probably thousands of women who’d jump at what you’re offering. And if I was alone maybe I could make a go of it. You’re saying we’re sexually attracted, and we definitely are, but that’s not enough to build a marriage. I’m Cinderella and you’re Prince Charming, but I have a feeling that marriage for Cinders had its downside.’
‘I’ve never heard any fairytale where they divorce,’ he said, startled, but she refused to smile.
‘No,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘But being all alone in his castle, with everyone knowing she’d come from rags to riches…she’d have to be grateful for ever. And if she’d had a son, then that little boy might feel the same and resent it.’
‘You’re flying off at tangents,’ he said, half laughing, and she grimaced.
‘I am,’ she said softly. ‘But I’m thinking forward. You see, I must. I have a future, but it’s inextricably tied up with Henry’s future, and Lorna’s and Jack’s and this little town.’ Her chin tilted some more. ‘When I first came here I was needful,’ she told him. ‘This little town made me happy, and I’ll not walk away because you make me feel wonderful.’
‘I make you feel wonderful?’ he demanded, pouncing on her words, and she felt a stab of sudden anger.
‘Of course,’ she said scornfully. ‘But you’ve jumped in at the deep end. You’ve figured for some reason that you want me, and the easiest way to have me is to install me in Manhattan and have me in the pieces of time you have left over from the rest of your life.’
‘What’s wrong with that?’
He couldn’t see?
She had to be grown-up for the pair of them, she thought miserably. She had to be sensible. Her heart had to be ignored. She was a married woman with a son to care for. With responsibilities. With Christmas in two days and she hadn’t even made her mince pies.
‘If you don’t know then I can’t teach you,’ she said. She took a deep breath, leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. A feather kiss that was over before he could react. Then she stepped back and felt for the handle of her wagon door. She slid in, still looking at him.
‘Thank you for the proposal,’ she whispered. ‘It was…magic. But you’re my boss, Guy, and that’s the way it has to stay. Now I’m going home. To my family. I have Christmas to organise.’