"I would very much like to do that, if you would be willing to guide me."
"Silus here has been having dreams concerning the Allfather," Kelos said. "Perhaps through this meditation he can work through some of his concerns and come to a greater understanding of our god?"
"With respect, Silus does not number amongst the priesthood."
"I understand," Kelos said. "But ever since I met Silus I have sensed a deep spirituality in him. It is my belief that he will increase our understanding of the Allfather. Maybe he will even be able to shed light on the dark speck that has so recently marred His face."
"Bestion, we do not pose a threat to your beliefs," Silus said. "We praise the same God you and I, just under different names. We all respect the sanctity of Kerberos, the Allfather.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence then. Bestion stared at Silus intently, his gaze not unfriendly, yet piercing, as though he was searching for any sign of moral laxity in Silus's soul.
"If I am to guide you through the rites, Silus, you must do everything that I say, exactly as I say it," Bestion said. "The rituals are not to be entered into lightly."
"I understand."
"Win and I will return to the palace while you work with Bestion," Kelos said. "We will see you after your meditation."
"Very well," Bestion said. "Silus follow me to the sanctuary. I will inform the other members of the priesthood that we are not to be disturbed."
Bestion led Silus deeper into the temple complex. As they passed through more of the gardens, he saw men tending to the sacred lichens and herbs. He noticed that some of the priests had peculiarly iridescent eyes.
They passed through an archway and into a silent hall. No birdsong rang from the walls here and there was no trickling of water. Their footsteps made no sound. Bestion opened a door at the far end and they entered a room bathed in the light of Kerberos.
A stream ran out of an archway on the far side of the room, forming a moat around a stone dais in the centre of the chamber, before exiting through a second archway. On the dais four brass censers were set at the corners of a carpet woven with symbols not unlike the songlines that had been inked onto Emuel's body. Above the dais, a wide circular hole in the roof let in the light of Kerberos.
Bestion led Silus over the bridge crossing the moat and gestured for him to be seated on the carpet.
As he sat, Silus looked up and was reminded of that first night with Katya; how they had moored the boat on the subterranean lake beneath the gaze of Kerberos, how he had shared his dreams and fantasies with her. Now that he was actually to come into the presence of Kerberos more directly, Silus wondered whether any of his visions would turn out to be true.
Bestion poured a sparkling powder into each of the censers before lighting them. The smoke that poured from them was bitter and Silus choked as it wreathed itself around him.
"Don't fight it," Bestion said. "Otherwise this isn't going to work. Breathe."
The first lungful burned as deeply and painfully as a knife to the ribs and, as Silus fought a growing sense of panic, Bestion put his hands on his shoulders and forced him to be still.
"Breathe, Silus, breathe."
Eventually, the pain subsided and Silus found himself able to breathe without gagging on each inhalation. There was a taste in his mouth that was vaguely metallic, but also sweet. Bestion sat opposite Silus and he noticed that the smoke didn't go near him. Instead, it seemed to be pouring from the censers and streaming directly into his nostrils.
When the censers were empty Bestion began to chant.
His voice was low and resonated deep within Silus's chest.
Silus didn't understand the words, but they seemed to be doing something to him. The taste in his mouth grew more pronounced and he felt as though he was going to be sick. He folded himself over the centre of his sickness — trying to hold it in — but a great shudder wracked his body, forcing him upright. When he opened his mouth what came forth, however, was not bile but smoke. It felt like he was being drawn inside-out. Silus tried to scream but he couldn't. The smoke pouring from his mouth felt like something solid, something living. He looked up and saw the column of smoke reach the hole in the temple ceiling, and he suddenly found himself following it. As he tumbled towards Kerberos he looked down and could see his body below, kneeling with its head thrown back. And as Silus looked at himself, he prayed to the Lord of All that he would be able to return so that life would once more shine behind those eyes.
Chapter Seventeen
The sound of Bestion's chanting followed him as the thread tying him to his body unravelled.
Silus rose through the temple roof and, looking up, he could see the great disk of Kerberos expanding as he hurtled towards it.
As the last few words of Bestion's mantra faded away, Silus found himself moving over the azure planet, the clouds just inches from the soles of his feet.
This silence was bigger than himself, bigger than the stars that blazed above him like a multitude of jewels strewn across black velvet. Ahead of him, one jewel burned brighter than all the others — its blue-green light reaching him in brilliant cold shards — and Silus knew that he was looking at Twilight. It seemed so fragile, as though if he could reach out and touch it it would shatter.
Remembering his dream, he stared into the clouds below him, expecting to see the spirits of all those who had left Twilight behind, but there was nothing. Just the odd flicker of lightning gave life to the roiling mass.
Silus felt disappointed. He had expected this to be a profound, spiritual revelation but, instead, he had found that, even close-to, Kerberos refused to give up its secrets.
He felt anger burn through him. Below him the clouds darkened.
Lightning lit the planet from horizon to horizon in a blaze of blinding light.
Silus understood then that Kerberos had just blinked.
Tendrils of cloud rose up around him, caressing him as they drew him down towards the surface.
Silus closed his eyes and sank into Kerberos.
Silus wasn't sure how much time he had spent in Kerberos's presence before he found himself rising back up, but he felt as though he might have been conversing for hours. However, he found he could remember very little of what had been said. All his questions and doubts had been replaced with new questions and doubts. He was no more aware than he had been of who was right about the nature of the azure giant; the Final Faith, the followers of the Many Paths, or the priests of the Allfather. In a sense he knew that there was a grain of truth in all of their beliefs but, at the same time, he realised that they all had a long way to go before they could claim to truly know Kerberos.
Silus rose into the void and looked towards Twilight. To his left the sun blazed away, great geysers of fire shooting out into the eternal night. Twilight caught the light and reflected it back and, feeling the pull on his body, Silus moved towards home.
However, something was rising over Kerberos's horizon. Something that Silus only began to see as a deeper darkness moving against the sea of stars. Then, as it rolled towards him, he could see that it was a pitch-black sphere. It was about an eighth the size of Kerberos and utterly featureless, its smooth surface reflecting the light of the sun like polished onyx.
This was the blight that marred the face of Kerberos.
There was a sudden sense of disorientation and Silus found himself looking down on the black terrain of this strange new world, with Kerberos now looming above him. He tried to will himself towards home and his body, but the dark moon dragged him down until he came to rest on its surface.
He sensed movement behind him then. Silus turned to see an arm reaching up through the ground. No, that wasn't quite right, he decided. The arm was in fact forming itself from the ground, the very terrain shaping itself into the semblance of a limb. Another arm rose beside it and then the ground between them bulged as a head, and then a torso, pulled themselves free.