‘Jonathan, he doesn’t need to have smoked salmon. That’s for breakfast tomorrow and I’ve got lots of cat food,’ Claire stated, sounding cross.
I miaowed in protest.
‘Hey, before I knew you existed, my darling, I gave him lots of fish. I can’t stop that and just give him the rubbish you feed him.’
‘He’s spoilt.’
‘He should be, he’s an extraordinary cat.’ Jonathan sliced the salmon and laid it in my bowl as if it was a five star restaurant. I licked my lips.
‘He most definitely is.’ Claire smiled indulgently.
By the time Tasha and Dave arrived, some very appealing smells were coming from the kitchen. I loved Tasha and when she visited, it reminded me of the days when it was just me and Claire and she was our first real friend. I rushed to greet them as Jonathan opened the door, getting gently scolded for getting in the way.
‘Alfie, you’re going to trip me up if you insist on getting under my feet,’ he admonished as he opened the door. I was too eager, I know, but I was one excited cat.
‘Hi,’ Jonathan said, smiling and standing back to let Tasha and Dave in. Tasha immediately picked me up and Dave handed Jonathan some drinks and looked at me warily.
‘Hi, Alfie,’ he said, but I noticed he didn’t get too close. I toyed with the idea of rubbing up against him to say hello, but realized that I just had to accept our arm’s-length relationship and that I shouldn’t be offended.
‘Missed you, Alfie,’ Tasha said as she carried me through to the kitchen. I revelled in her hug, she was so warm and caring, but there was something different about her tonight. I immediately sensed it. Something good, not bad, although I had no idea exactly what it was.
‘Hi, Tash, oh you’ve got Alfie.’ Claire leant in to kiss Tasha’s cheek then Dave’s who was close behind her.
‘Right,’ Jonathan said, ‘drinks.’ Tasha put me on the floor.
‘Beer please, mate,’ Dave asked.
‘Tash?’ Jonathan asked. ‘We’ve got wine of every description.’
Tasha and Dave exchanged a look.
‘Well, the thing is that I’m off alcohol,’ she started.
‘Why, what’s wrong?’ Claire asked. Her back was turned and she was emptying some posh crisps into a bowl.
‘Well, actually nothing’s wrong, it’s just that I’m, well, we are pregnant!’ Tasha laughed, happiness written all over her face. Dave beamed too, and Jonathan went and slapped him on his back.
‘Great news, guys, congratulations.’ He kissed Tasha’s cheek. Claire froze for a moment, her face a picture of anxiety as she gripped onto the counter. I could see her struggle and then her fear. I willed her to say something; thankfully she turned around, plastering a smile to her face, composure resumed. My lovely Claire was instantly back.
‘Wonderful news, Tash, Dave. Oh how brilliant.’ She smiled, kissed and hugged her friends. I was able to exhale.
Over the evening, as there was chatter of babies between the women, I could sense Claire’s underlying tension.
Although she was behaving naturally and they talked about all sorts of things, the evening had definitely become about Tasha.
‘So do you think the acupuncture worked?’ Claire asked.
‘I don’t know for sure, but it might have done. It certainly didn’t do any harm.’ Tasha smiled. ‘I cannot believe how excited I am. I mean I know it’s early days but, wow, it just all feels so amazing.’
‘No sickness?’
‘Oh yes, all day, not sure why they call it morning. But by evening I’m hungry, so thank you for doing dinner.’ She laughed, her face was alive with joy.
‘It’s nothing special, if I’d known I might have produced something more suited to a special occasion,’ Claire said.
‘No shellfish or liver luckily,’ Jonathan laughed.
‘Oh get you,’ Claire teased. ‘Pregnancy expert.’
‘Hopefully you guys won’t be far behind us,’ Dave offered. Claire concentrated on her food and didn’t reply to that.
As the evening wore on, I noticed that Claire had drunk quite a lot; it was as if she had consumed Tasha’s share of wine too.
‘I’m so happy for you,’ she kept saying over and over. I saw that Jonathan kept his arm protectively round his wife as they sat at the table and he didn’t normally do that. Claire wasn’t an alcoholic but when she was stressed she often drank quite a bit. She used to when she was unhappy and I didn’t want her to go back to those days. But Tasha and Dave were so happy, radiantly, that they didn’t seem to notice. They left shortly after polishing off their pudding, Tasha explaining that she was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open. As she kissed me goodbye I could only hope this baby didn’t take after Dave in the cat allergy stakes.
When it was just the three of us once again, Jonathan cleared up while Claire nursed another drink. I set myself onto her lap, and she idly stroked me.
‘Are you all right?’ Jonathan asked, tension lining his face.
‘I am, I mean I should be, but I’m worried, Jon. What if it doesn’t happen for us?’
‘OK, darling.’ He put down the tea towel and sat beside her. ‘Why are you thinking like this?’
‘I should be happy when my best friend is pregnant but all I could think was that I wished it was me. That’s not how I want to react.’
‘Darling, we haven’t been trying for as long as they have; it’s only been a few months, so you can’t start worrying about it.’
‘Deep down I know that, but you know my history with anxiety. I’m not sure I can help it. I just worry about it all the time. I mean, everywhere I look, experts are all saying you should have your first baby in your early thirties and I’m not anymore.’ She looked so upset I wanted to cry for her.
‘OK, well why don’t you go and see Tasha’s acupuncturist; that can’t hurt, and it’s all natural. And you know anything you need to do to relax, we’ll do, go for long walks, have massages, give up work if you want to.’
‘Jonathan, I think that might be a bit extreme.’ Claire laughed, sadly. ‘And you hate walking.’
‘I didn’t exactly mean me. But I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. As long as you don’t put my boxers in the freezer.’
‘Why on earth would I do that?’ Claire asked, echoing my thoughts.
‘Pretend I didn’t say that. I know, we’ll go away for the weekend, somewhere romantic.’ I narrowed my sleepy eyes. I instinctively knew that offer didn’t include me. ‘Claire, I know you want a baby but you can’t let it get to you, not before we’ve even got a problem.’
‘I know, Jon, I’ll be OK, it’s just I don’t want to be the woman who is jealous of everyone else’s baby news.’
‘No, soon you’ll be the woman with the baby news. I’m sure of it.’ He stood up, took her hand, and kissed her. I jumped off her lap, as he led her to bed, and I went to my basket. I needed to curl up, think and sleep.
Chapter Nine
I was up very early after being woken in the small hours by Jonathan who had to go to Germany for work. I didn’t know where Germany was but I had gathered it was a different country. He had to go on a plane, which was a way that humans travelled, sort of on a giant bird that I had often watched flying overhead, and he would be gone for two days. He often went away for work and Claire said she liked it as she didn’t have to pick up his dirty socks and she could read uninterrupted. I took this to mean she missed him terribly. I certainly did. I had two days of cat ready meals to look forward to.
Jonathan didn’t even try to be quiet as he got ready to leave, banging doors, swearing as he stubbed his foot and waking me and Claire.