She nodded.
It’ll no really matter.
Are you sure?
Aye. Billy’s da’s a good auld guy; he doesnt really bother about things.
After a moment Robert shook his head and smiled briefly. Aye but Tammas that’s no the way to look at it. I mean you dont look at it like that — his da’s a good auld guy and so you dont bother — I mean if anything that’s more of a reason for sticking the bloody job, no chucking it.
Margaret was nodding.
No think so yourself?
Eh, aye, to some extent, probably.
Surely it’s more than to some extent? said Margaret.
Tammas sniffed.
Eh? is it no more than to some extent?
What do you want me to get my foot burnt off for the sake of Billy’s auld man?
There’s no need to be cheeky about it Tammas.
Och I’m no being cheeky Margaret, it’s just — God sake. . He turned and faced the window above the sink.
It’s you she’s thinking about, said Robert.
Tammas nodded. He turned back again: Actually I didnt really want the job in the first place. I dont really want to work in factories any more.
Hh! Robert grunted, I doubt if you’re going to have any say in the matter the way things’re going!
Tammas shut his eyelids; then he glanced about for his cigarettes and matches, collected them from the table. Margaret sighed and said, We just want to know you’re going to be alright.
Alright?
Well, God, Tammas, we dont know anything really, not about what you’re doing — just suddenly you’ve got piles of money and we dont see hide nor hair of you for days.
What?
You know what I’m talking about.
I dont.
Tch Tammas, you paid all what you owed and then gave us a month’s rent in advance!
He shrugged.
Well it’s a lot of money.
It’s no that much.
Yes it is, it is.
Margaret, God sake, I just won a few quid on the horses.
Hh! Robert grinned.
Margaret was shaking her head. It’s just too much, she was saying, it’s just too much.
Too much? what d’you mean?
It’s too much, the money, to win on the horses.
Tch Margaret, for goodness sake.
Well it is.
Naw it’s no.
It is.
It isnt but, honest — Robert! Tammas gestured at him.
What?
Naw I mean just, will you tell her?
Tell her?
Naw just Christ the money and that, the horses, if she thinks I’m thieving or something.
She doesnt think you’re bloody thieving! Dont be daft.
Well, Christ. . Tammas had blushed; he inhaled deeply on the cigarette, flicked the grey ash into the sink. He glanced at his sister. Honest, I just won the money on the horses.
Tammas. . Margaret shook her head, stared at the floor.
I’m sorry.
I’m no wanting you to be sorry.
Well what? Hh, I dont know.
Robert frowned at him.
I’m sorry I mean I’m no being cheeky I just dont know, I dont know what I’m supposed to do, I mean, what I should be saying and that.
Look Tammas all your sister’s wanting to know is you’re going to be okay. That’s all; she’s just bloody worried cause of the way things are going. Let’s face it, they’re no going that good. You cant deny that.
Tammas shrugged.
You chucked your job on the first day; you never gave it a chance. It’ll get kept against you. It’ll be down in black and white.
Mm.
It will but Tammas that’s what bloody happens I mean we just want to know you’re going to be okay. And I’m talking about the future.
I’ll be fine. He glanced at Margaret: Honest, I’ll be fine. I’ve got a girlfriend by the way.
God Tammas we know you’ve got a girlfriend.
Aye well. . sometimes that’s how I’m away.
Margaret nodded. It’s good you’ve got a girlfriend; we’re no saying anything about that.
Mm.
But in some ways that just adds to it Tammas. Cause how’re you going to live? That’s how I end up getting worried. You’re my wee brother ye know!
Tch Margaret, God sake.
Well, you are!
He dragged on the cigarette, turning to face the window as he blew out the smoke. It was dark outside, light glinting on the wet roof opposite. He dragged on the cigarette again, started gnawing at the edge of his right thumbnail.
It’s a big world out there you know!
It was Margaret had spoken. She was smiling. Tammas smiled back at her, and he added: To be honest, I’m going to be going away quite soon.
Are you?
Aye. He shrugged.
Margaret was gazing at him.
Robert glanced at her before asking, Whereabouts?
Eh, Peterhead probably.
Probably?
Tammas nodded. He lifted the teapot, put it back down again. I’ve been considering going to England as well — Manchester.
Manchester? said Margaret.
Aye.
What for?
To work. That’s where John is. He’s been trying to get me and Billy to go and stay with him. There’s bags of jobs down there he says. Mainly factories right enough. That’s how I’d rather go to Peterhead, because of the actual job. Getting into the building game I mean I’d really like to get into it. You make good money and then you can move about as well. Plus cause you’re up there you might hear about the North Sea.
Are you talking about the rigs? said Robert — cause if you are you’re talking about really hard graft. Really hard graft. Aye and the conditions arent that good either!
Tammas nodded, he cleared his throat.
It’s no all it’s cracked up to be, that’s all I’m saying.
Are you just going to go yourself? asked Margaret.
Eh, naw I’ll probably be going with somebody. No mind? I was telling you a wee while ago — a guy called McCann.
O. Is he working?
What do you mean just now?
Margaret nodded.
Naw, he’s been on the broo a few months. That’s how he’s looking for a job. He’s an electrician.
Mm, I see.
Robert said, What’s his name again?
McCann; I’m no sure if you know him. He drinks in Simpson’s.
I might’ve seen him around.
Probably have.
Robert nodded.
Tammas inhaled on the cigarette, tapped the grey ash into the rubbish bin, and he said, I think I’ll go ben the room. . Okay?
Margaret shrugged after a moment.
•••
He had waited until past midnight before leaving the house and he left without bidding Goodnight; his sister and brother-in-law had been watching a picture on television.
Although the rain had stopped the street was wet, quite a few puddles on the pavement. At the corner he bought a Daily Record from a paperboy and he got a taxi in less than five minutes. When he arrived down the lane the door of the club opened and two guys came out. They seemed a bit drunk and were talking back to Deefy. But Deefy was not paying much attention. He spotted Tammas and called: How’s it going son?
No bad Deefy, no bad — how’s yourself?
Deefy shrugged, pursed his lips. He stared after the two till they reached the end of the lane, before replying. Fucking horses! He stepped back inside the doorway, staying there until Tammas had entered. . See the results the day!
Naw, I never had a bet.
You never had a bet?
Naw.
Wise man — fucking murder! He followed Tammas along the corridor and into the snacks’ room. It was quite busy, a few men but mainly women. Deefy had paused to speak to an old fellow Tammas recognised as a newspaper vendor who had a pitch near Queen Street Station. He carried on, straight through into the gaming room. It was busy here also and he could see Joe standing over by the corner of the horseshoe table, on the fringes of the spectators; he was smoking a cigar. There was a man beside him and whispering something to him. Joe’s head was lowered as he listened, one hand in his overcoat pocket, the other holding the cigar behind his back. It seemed as if nobody else was talking in the entire room.