11 Good-bye," she said shortly, not raising her eyes.
" When may I come again ? "
" When you please. However, we go to town this week; we will let you know thea"
He went away. More than a fortnight passed. Everyone had by then come to town. Aristocratic drawing-rooms began to be lighted up. And the petty official lighted two lamps on the wall in his drawing-room, bought two stones of wax-candles and set out two card-tables, in expectation of Stepan Ivanitch and Ivan Stepanitch, and announced to his wife that they would be at home on Tuesdays.
But all this time Adouev did not receive an invitation to the Lubetzkys. He met their cook and their maid-servant: the maid, directly she saw him, began hurrying away; it was clear that she acted in the spirit of her mistress. The cook stopped.
" Why is it, sir, you have forgotten us ? " he said, " and it's ten days already since we've been back."
" But perhaps you are not settled yet—you don't receive ? "
" How not receive, sir ; every one has been to see us already, except you; the mistress is always wondering about it. Now his grace is good enough to visit us every day. Such a kind-hearted gentleman! I went the other day with a copy-book from our young lady to him—he gave me a banknote."
" You idiot!" said Adouev, and turned on his heel away from the gossip. He went in the evening past the Lubetzkys. It was lighted up. A carriage was at the door.
? " he asked. Count Novinsk y* The next day ana the next it was the same thing. At last, one day he went in. The mother received him cordially, with reproaches for his absence, scolded him for not having rubbed his chest with opodeldoc; Nadinka—calmly, the Count—courteously. Conversation did not make much progress.
This happened twice. In vain he looked expressively at Nadinka; she did not seem to observe his looks, and how she had observed them of old ! Sometimes, when he was talking to her mother, she used to stand facing him and make faces at him from behind Maria Mihalovna, play tricks and make him laugh.
He was a prey to intolerable wretchedness. He thought of nothing but how to force himself from the bondage he had entered upon so light-heartedly. He wanted to obtain an explanation. " Whatever the answer was," he thought, "it would not matter, so long as doubt were changed into certainty."
He was a long while deliberating how to attack the matter; at last he made a plan of some sort and went to the Lubetzkys.
Everything was in his favour. That carriage was not at the door. He went quietly into the drawing-room and stopped a minute at the door of the inner room to take breath. Nadinka was there playing on the piano. At the further end of the room Madame Lubetzky was sitting on a sofa and knitting at her shawl. Nadinka, hearing steps in the outer room, went on playing more softly and stretched her head forward. She waited with a smile for the guest to appear. The guest made his appearance and instantly the smile vanished, and a look of dismay took its place. Her face changed a little and she rose from her seat. This was not the guest she was expecting.
Alexandr bowed without speaking and moved on like a shadow towards her mother. He walked softly without his old self-confidence, with hanging head. Nadinka sat down and went on playing, looking round restlessly now and then.
In half an hour the mother was summoned from the room on some matter or other. Alexandr went up to Nadinka. She rose and tried to escape.
" Nadyezhda Alexandrovna !" he said mournfully, " stay a little, spare'me five minutes—no more."
" I cannot listen to you," she said, moving away; " the
last time you were "
" I was to blame then. Now I will speak in a very different way; you shall not hear a syllable of reproach, I give you my word. An explanation is inevitable: you
know you gave me permission to ask your mother for your hand. Since that so much has happened—that—that I must repeat my request. Sit down and go on playing; your mother will hear less then; it's not the first time, you know "
She obeyed mechanically; with heightened colour she began to touch a chord and bent her eyes upon him in a tremour of expectation.
"Where have you gone, Alexandr Fedoritch?" asked mother, returning to her place.
" I wanted to have a little talk with Nadyezhda Alexan-drovna—about—literature," he answered.
" Well, do by all means; indeed, it's a long time since you have had a talk together."
"Answer me briefly and sincerely, one question only," he began in an undertone, "and our explanation will be over directly. You no longer love me ? "
" Quelle idee 1 " she answered in confusion; you know how maman and I have always valued your friendship— how glad we always have been to see you."
Adouev looked at her and thought il Are you that capricious but sincere child ? that freakish, frolicsome creature ? How quickly she has learnt to dissemble! how soon the feminine instincts have awakened in her ! Can it be that her sweet caprices were the germs of dissimulation and hypocrisy ? .... to think, even without my uncle's method, how quickly this girl has been trained into a woman ! and all the Count's training, and all in some two or three months! Oh, uncle, uncle ! here again you are only too right."
11 Listen," he said in such a voice, that the mask of dissimulation dropped off, " let us leave mamma out of the question : be for an instant the Nadinka of old days when you loved me a little, and answer me straight out; I must know, by God, I must."
She did not speak, but changing the music before her, began mechanically to look at it and play a difficult passage.
" Very well, I will alter my question," continued Adouev ; " tell me, has not some one—I do not even ask who—but simply has not some one supplanted me in your heart ?"
She snuffed the candle and was a long while setting the wick straight, but she did not speak.
"Answer, Nadyezhda Alexandrovna; one word will release me from torture and you—from an unpleasant explanation."
" Ah, for God's sake, leave off! What am I to say to you ? I have nothing to say !" she answered, turning away from him.
Another man would have been satisfied with such a reply, and would have seen that there was no need to trouble himself further. He would have understood everything from the unspoken anguish written on her face and expressed in her gestures. But Adouev was not content He was like an executioner torturing his victim, and was himself animated by a kind of wild despairing desire to drink the cup once for all and to the dregs.
" No !" he said, " let us put an end to this torture to-day; doubts, one blacker than another, are distracting my mind and tearing my heart to pieces. I have suffered agony; I believe my heart will break with the strain .... I cannot feel convinced of my suspicions; you must resolve it all yourself, or I shall never be at rest."
He looked at her and waited for an answer. She did not speak.
" Have pity on me !" he began again—" look at me; am I like myself? every one is frightened of me, no one recognises me—every one pities me—except you."
It was true; his eyes glowed with a strange fire. He was thin, and white; the perspiration stood in large drops onliis bWw:
She looked stealthily at him and there was something like sympathy in her eyes. She even took his hand, but let it fall directly with a sigh, and still she did not speak.
" Well ?" he asked.
" Ah ! leave me in peace !" she said in a tone of anguish, "you torture me with your questions."
" I beseech you, for God's sake!" he said, " make an end of all with one word. Of what use is concealment to you ? I cannot get rid of a foolish hope, I will not
leave off, I will come to you every day, pale, distracted
I shall bring you misery. Forbid me the house, I will linger under your windows, will meet you at the theatre, in the street, everywhere, like a ghost. All this is foolish, laughable very likely—to any one who can laugh—but it is