agonizing to me! You don't know what passion is—what it leads to! God grant you may never find out! . . . . What is the good of it ? wouldn't it be better to speak at once ? "
"But what are you asking me about?" said Nadinka, throwing herself back in her chair. " I am utterly bewildered—my head is in a fog."
She pressed her hand spasmodically to her forehead and withdrew it again at once.
" I ask you—has some one taken my place in your heart ? one word—yes or no—will decide everything; will it take long to say it ? "
She tried to say something but could not, and dropping her eyes struck a note with one finger. One could see that there was a violent struggle going on within her. " Ah !" she groaned at last in anguish. Adouev wiped his forehead with his handkerchief.
"Yes or no?" he repeated, holding his breath.
Some seconds passed.
" Yes or no ? "
" Yes!" whispered Nadinka, hardly audibly, then bent over the piano, and, as though unconsciously, began to strike some loud chords.
This yes was a scarcely perceptible sound, like a sign, but it stunned Adouev; his heart seemed torn, his limbs shook beneath him. He dropped into a chair near the piano and said nothing.
Nadinka looked at him in alarm. He gazed senselessly at her.
"Alexandr Fedoritch!" shrieked her mother suddenly from her room, "which of your ears is tingling?"
He did not answer.
" Maman is asking you a question," said Nadinka.
" Eh ? "
" Which of your ears is tingling ? " cried the mother— " quick 1 »
" Both! " Adouev uttered gloomily.
u Your'e wrong—it should be the left! And I have been foretelling the future, and whether the Count will be here to-day."
" The Count!" ejaculated Adouev.
"Forgive me!" said Nadinka, in a voice of entreaty,
turning towards him. "I don't understand myself—-this has all happened without my foreseeing it ... . against my will .... I don't know how .... I could not deceive you."
"I will keep my word, Nadyezhda Alexandrovna," he replied, " I will not utter a single reproach to you. Thank you for your sincerity .... you have done much .... much —to-day .... it was hard for me to hear that ' yes,' but it was still harder for you to say it ... . Farewell; you will not see me again; it's the only return I can make for your honesty .... but the Count, the Count! "
He ground his teeth and walked to the door.
" Ah," he said, turning back, " what will this bring you to ? The Count will not marry you; what are his intentions ? "
" I don't know!" answered Nadinka, shaking her head mournfully.
" My God! how blind you are!" cried Alexandr with horror.
" He can have no bad intentions," she replied in a weak voice.
u Take care of yourself, Nadyezhda Alexandrovna 1"
He took her hand, kissed it, and with uneven steps went from the room. It was dreadful to look at him. Nadinka remained motionless in her place.
^ Why are you not playing, Nadinka?" asked her mother in a few minutes.
" Directly, maman 1 " she replied, and with her head bent pensively on one side, began uncertainly to touch the keys. Her fingers weretrembling. She was evidently suffering from th&"prfeks o? conscience and from the doubt flung at her in the words " Take care of yourself." When the Count arrived, she was silent and depressed; and there was some constraint in her manner. On the pretext of a headache she went early to her room. And that night life seemed a sorrowful thing to her.
Adouev had scarcely got down the staircase when his strength failed him, he sat down on the last step, covered his eyes with his handkerchief and broke into loud tearless sobs. The hall-porter was passing near the vestibule afrthe time. He stood still and listened.
" Marfa, Marfa !" he called, going up to the dirty door,
"come here, listen, how some one is groaning like an animal. I thought it might be our dog escaped from her chain, but no, it's not."
" No,it's not the dog!" repeated Marfa listening. "What a strange thing!"
" Come and bring a lantern; it hangs there behind the stove."
Marfa brought the lantern.
" Is he still groaning ? " she asked.
" Yes! could some tramp have got in ? "
" Who is there ? " asked the porter.
No answer.
" Who is there ? " repeated Marfa.
Still the same sound. They both went off quickly. Adouev rushed away.
" Ah, it was some gentlemen," said Marfa, looking after him, " and you thought it was a tramp ! There, it's just what was on the tip of my tongue to say! Would a tramp be groaning in other people's passages ? "
" Weil, he must have been drunk then."
" That's better still! " answered Marfa; " do you suppose every one's like vou? it's not every one groans like you when he's drunk ? "
" Then why was it—from hunger or what ? " remarked the porter with vexation.
" Why 1" said Marfa looking at him and not knowing what to say, "how can one tell, he had lost something, perhaps—money."
They both squatted down at once and began to search with the lantern on the ground in every corner.
" Lost something!" repeated the porter, as he turned the light on the ground, "where could he lose anything here? the staircase is clean and made of stone, you could see a needle here—lost something indeed! We should have heard if he had lost anything; it would have tinkled on the ground; of course he would have picked it up ! where could one lose anything here ? There is nowhere ! Lost something ! He didn't lose anything ; was he likely to have lost something? lose anything—I daresay! no; he'd be more likely, you depend upon it, to find a way of putting things in his pocket instead of losing them! I know them, the pickpockets! lost indeed ! where did he lose it?"
And they spent a long time crawling on the ground, looking for the lost money.
" No, no," said the porter at last with a sigh, then he put out the light, and pinching the wick with two fingers wiped them on his coat
CHAPTER VI.
That evening at twelve o'clock, when Piotr Ivanitch, with a candle and book in one hand, while he held his dressing-gown off the ground with the other, went from his study into his bedroom to go to bed, his valet informed him that Alexandr Fedoritch wished to see him.
Piotr Ivanitch knitted his brows, thought a minute, and then said calmly: " Take him into the study; I will come at once/'
Returning there, he greeted his nephew with " Good evening, Alexandr, it's a long time since we have seen you. We have given up expecting you by day, and here all at once you burst on us at night! Why so late ? But what's wrong with you ? you are quite pale."
Without answering a. iVoi'cT, Alexandr sat down in an armchair in extreme exhaustion. Piotr Ivanitch looked at him with curiosity.
Alexandr sighed.
" Are you well ? " asked Piotr Ivanitch, anxiously.
" Yes," replied Alexandr in a feeble voice, " I move, I eat, I drink, and therefore I am well."
" Don't make light of it though; consult a doctor."
" Other people have already given me that advice, but no doctors or opodeldocs can be of use to me; my disease is not physical."
" What is the matter with you ? You haven't been gambling, or lost money ? " asked Piotr Ivanitch with lively interest
"You can never imagine trouble apart from money matters I" replied Alexandr, trying to smile.
" What is the trouble then ? Everything is all right at your home—I know that from the letters to which your mother treats me every month; at the office nothing can be
worse than it was; then come trifling matters—love, I suppose."
" Yes, love; but do you know what has happened ? when you know you will be horrified."
" Tell me; it's a long while since I've been horrified," said his uncle, taking a seat; " however, it's not difficult to conjecture; no doubt, they have deceived you "