You will come to-morrow ? eh ? you are listening ? you will not forget us ? you will not forsake ? . . . .
She ran away without waiting for a reply.
Her father looked steadily at her, then at Alexandr, and shook his head. Alexandr stared after her without speaking. He felt something like compunction, and was vexed with himself for having inadvertently brought her into this position; the blood rushed not to his heart but to his head. ^
" She loves me," thought Alexandr, as he went home. " Good Heavens, what a bore ! how awkward it is ; now it's
impossible to come here again, and the fish bite splendidly at that place—it's amazing ! "
Yet inwardly it seemed he was not ill-content with this ; he grew lively and chatted away every instant with Kosty-akoff.
Imagination, ever busy, sketched him, as though with some design, a full-length portrait of Liza, with her splendid shoulders, her slim figure, not omitting even her ankle. A strange sensation was kindled in him, again a shiver ran through him, but did not touch his heart, and died away again. He analysed this sensation from its source to its end.
" Animal instinct! " he muttered to himself; "that such an idea could enter my head—ah, bare shoulders, bust, ankle .... take advantage of her confidence, her innocence .... deceive .... and even so deceive her .... what then ? The same weariness and stings of conscience besides very likely, and for what ? No, no ! I will not let myself
go, I will not bring her to that Oh! I am firm ! I
feel in me so much purity of heart, so much generosity
I wilLnot fall into the mire, and I will not drag her into
it^r;
Liza expected him the whole day in a tremor of happiness ; afterwards her heart failed her, she lost courage, and, not knowing why herself, grew sad, and almost ceased to desire Alexandra coming. When the hour fixed had come, and no Alexandr, her impatience changed to insufferable wretchedness. With the last rays of the setting sun every hope left her; she burst into tears.
The next day she revived again, again she was light-hearted in the morning, but towards evening her heart began to ache and grow heavy with dread and hope. Again they did not come.
The third and the fourth day it was the same. Still hope drew her to the banks; scarcely did a boat appear in the distance, or two human figures on the bank, without her beginning to tremble and grow powerless under the burden of happy expectation. But when she saw they were not in the boat, that the figures were not theirs, she let her head drop exhausted on her breast, and despair settled down on her heart.
In a minute treacherous hope again whispered to her a
soothing explanation of the delay .... and again her heart began to beat with expectation. But Alexandr still did not come, as though on purpose.
At last, when half ill with despair in her heart, she was sitting one day at her place under the tree, suddenly she heard a rustling; she turned round and trembled with the shock of delight; before her, with his arms folded, stood Alexandr.
She stretched out her hands to him with tears of happiness, and for a long time she could not regain her control of herself. He took her hand and eagerly, even with emotion, looked her in the face.
" You have grown thin !" he said gently, " you are suffering ?"
She shuddered.
" How long you have stayed away !" she exclaimed.
" And you expected me ? "
"I?" she replied quickly. "Oh, if you knew!" She ended her reply by a warm pressure of his hand.
" And I came to say good-bye to you !" he said and paused, watching to see how it would affect her.
She gazed with dismay and incredulity at him.
" It's not true," she said.
" Yes, it's true ! " he replied.
" Listen ! " she said suddenly, looking timidly round on all sides; " don't go away, for goodness' sake, don't go away ! I will tell you a secret. Papa sees us here from the window ; come to me in the garden, to the summerhouse—it looks out on to the meadow. I will show you."
They went together. Alexandr did not take his eyes off her shoulders and her slender figure, and felt as though shaking with fever.
" What consequence is it," he thought as he followed her, " if I go; of course I shall—only look, it's just like visiting their home, the summerhouse .... the father invited me; of course I could go openly and directly .... but I am far from temptation, by God, and I will prove it; indeed I came here on purpose to say I was going away, though I am not going anywhere! No, Satan, you shall not lead me into temptation!"
But at this point it seemed as though Kriloffs imp appeared from the hermit's store and whispered to him, "But
why did you come to say this ? there was no necessity for it; if you had not come, in a fortnight you would have been forgotten."
But Alexandr considered that he was doing nobly, coming to perform a great act of self-sacrifice, to strive with the tempter face to face. The first trophy of his victory over himself was a kiss snatched from Liza, then he flung his arms round her waist, said that he was not going away, that he had invented that to test her, to find out whether she cared for him. Finally, to complete his victory he promised next day to be at the summerhouse at the same time.
As he went home, he thought over his conduct and felt hot and cold by turns. He was overwhelmed with horror and could not believe it of himself; finally, he resolved not to go to-morrow .... and was there before the hour fixed.
It was in the month of August. It was already dark. Alexandr had promised to be there at nine, but he arrived at eight, alone, without his fishing tackle. He stole towards the summerhouse like a thief, sometimes looking round apprehensively, sometimes running at full speed. But someone had been before him, and the latter also in haste, ran breathless into the summerhouse and sat down on a sofa in a dark corner.
It seemed they had watched Alexandr. He softly opened the door in violent agitation and walked on tip-toe to the sofa and softly took the hand—of Liza's father. Alexandr shuddered, jumped up, tried to run away, but the old man kept hold of the lappet of his coat and forced him to sit down beside him on the sofa.
" And what did you come after here, my good friend ? " he said.
" I—came after fish," muttered Alexandr, hardly able to move his lips. His teeth were chattering. The old man was in no way formidable, but like every thief caught in the act, Alexandr shook as if he were in a fever.
" After fish !" repeated the old man derisively. " Do you know the meaning of the saying to ' catch fish in troubled waters'? I have been keeping watch on you for a long time, and now I have found you out at last; but I have known my Liza from her cradle; she is good a"nd trusting, but as for you, you're a dangerous scoundrel."
Alexandr tried to get up, but the old man kept him by the arm.
" Oh, my friend, don'tget angry. You made an affectation of unhappiness, and hypocritically avoided Liza, drew her on, made sure of her, and were meaning to take advantage of it. Is that honourable conduct? What am I to call you ? "
" I swear on my honour I did not foresee the consequences," said Alexandr, in a voice of the deepest sincerity; " I did not mean "
The old man did not speak for a few minutes.
"Well, it may be even so ! " he said ; " it may be that not in passion but simply in idleness you have led the poor girl astray, without even realising yourself what would come of it; if you succeeded, so much the better—if you didn't, no matter! There are many fellows like you in Petersburg. Do you know how such gentlemen are treated ?"
Alexandr sat with downcast eyes. He could not find courage to defend himself.
" At first I thought better of you, but I was mistaken, greatly mistaken ! You know what an innocent fellow you affected to be ! Thank God, I discovered it in time ! Listen ; there is no time to lose; the silly girl will come to the tryst directly. I watched you yesterday. There is no need for her to see us together; you go away, and, needless to say, never come here again. She will begin to think you have deceived her and it will be a lesson to her. Only take care we never see anything of you here; find some other place to fish, or else—111 pack you off without much ceremony. It's lucky for you that Liza can still look me in the face ; I have been keeping watch on her all day .... else you would not have got off so easily—Good-bye ! "