Brambling nodded despondently.
‘Right,’ I said in my brightest tone, ‘now that’s settled we can all go and have some tea.’
I bustled around and tried to make light of the entire matter, as though we officers-of-state were accustomed to dealing with such crises. Seizing Grosbeak by the arm I led him out into the open air; we were followed by Gadwall and Merganser, and quickly we set off towards the great library. Brambling came trailing along behind.
When we entered the reading room we discovered that elaborate preparations had been made to ensure this ‘tea party’ was a success. It was too late in the season to furnish a spectacular sunset through the bay window. Nonetheless, the room looked quite resplendent. The chandeliers had been lit, the imperial flag hung from the ceiling, and the walls were decorated with garlands. Smew had dispensed with the ceremonial crown and was now wearing his lounge suit, presumably to make the guests feel more at home. Dotterel, Garganey and Whimbrel were standing around in relaxed poses, while Sanderling helped Shrike serve the tea and toasted soldiers.
Smew was geniality itself.
‘Everything satisfactory?’ he asked, when we’d all assembled around him.
‘More or less,’ Grosbeak replied.
‘Then I must show you around the library.’
There had been no real opportunity to explain the situation to Smew, but when I thought about it I realised it wasn’t particularly urgent. After all, he was under the impression that in the past half hour the imperial reserves had been reduced to nothing. The fact that they’d been rejected as worthless was hardly better news. For this reason it was probably wiser to let him carry on playing the host uninterrupted. He would doubtless learn the truth later.
His intimate knowledge of the library was now coming to the fore. He obviously delighted in showing the three visitors around, occasionally lifting down odd volumes for them to look at more closely, and generally acclaiming the quality of the vast collection.
‘Who owns all these books?’ enquired Merganser at one point. ‘The citizens of Greater Fallowfields?’
‘No,’ Smew answered, ‘they belong to the emperor.’
Grosbeak raised his eyebrows.
‘Ah, yes,’ he said, ‘the imperial truant.’
‘Truant?’ repeated Smew, visibly startled. ‘How so?’
‘Your esteemed emperor enrolled at our university last term,’ said Merganser. ‘He ceased attending lectures after only a few weeks and we haven’t seen him since.’
‘Did you try his board and lodgings?’
‘Naturally,’ said Grosbeak. ‘It seems he left without paying the rent.’
With this stunning revelation ringing in our ears we resumed our tour of the library. Ostensibly the empire was disintegrating beneath our very feet, yet all we could do was wander along the shelves looking at books. In due course we arrived back in the reading room, where more tea was waiting to be served. By now Smew appeared to have gathered his thoughts.
‘This contract for the railway,’ he said. ‘When did the emperor sign it?’
‘During the first week of term,’ replied Grosbeak.
‘I see.’ Smew frowned. ‘Well, I can only apologise for His Majesty’s continued absence. I dare say there’s a perfectly simple explanation.’
‘Possibly,’ conceded Grosbeak.
‘In the meantime,’ Smew continued, ‘I very much hope the three of you aren’t planning on leaving us just yet?’
‘We intend to stay for at least another week,’ said Grosbeak.
‘Good,’ said Smew. ‘Now is there anything else I can do for you?’
Grosbeak thought for a moment.
‘Yes,’ he said, ‘we would like to sample your cake.’
Chapter 20
A special concert was organised for the following evening, the guests of honour being Grosbeak, Merganser and Gadwall. It was all rather hastily arranged, and I suspected that Smew was trying to appease them. By now, of course, he’d been informed of the outstanding debt. He was clearly hoping to buy time, so it was imperative that I gave him my full backing. I went to see Greylag as soon as I learned of the plan, and told him we’d expect an exceptional performance. Quickly we agreed that the best policy was for the orchestra to play some variations on the imperial anthem, followed by Greylag’s recent overture.
‘Nothing experimental,’ I urged. ‘Not for these people.’
‘As you wish, sir,’ said Greylag, though it was evident he was disappointed. He had plainly moved on from ‘mere’ anthems and overtures.
Rehearsals would be held during the afternoon, with the concert beginning at seven o’clock sharp. I helped out where I could; and while I was checking the seating schedule I happened to glance down at the orchestra. Once again I couldn’t help noticing the threadbare nature of their frock coats. We were supposed to be trying to impress the deputation from the City of Scoffers, yet the imperial orchestra was dressed in worn-out clothes! I decided that something must be done about it, and after some thought I headed over to the ministry of works. Maybe Dotterel would have a supply of spare outfits stored in some warehouse or other.
To my surprise, I found him sitting in his office deep in conversation with Garganey. They didn’t take kindly to being interrupted.
‘Yes,’ said Dotterel, ‘what is it?’
‘Sorry to bother you,’ I said, ‘but I was wondering if you had any frock coats in the imperial livery?’
‘Why should I have?’
‘I just thought you might, that’s all.’
Dotterel looked at Garganey and slowly shook his head. Then he addressed me again.
‘You want them for the orchestra, I suppose?’
‘Correct,’ I said.
‘Well, the answer is no,’ said Dotterel. ‘The orchestra is your responsibility, not mine; and to be quite frank you should have provided them with new coats long ago.’
‘Me?’ I retorted. ‘How could I provide them?’
‘You receive a stipend, don’t you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then you have your solution,’ proclaimed Dotterel. ‘Go to a draper’s shop and buy some.’
I puffed out my cheeks.
‘Oh,’ I said, ‘right.’
During the conversation Garganey had remained silent. Now I turned to him.
‘Just out of interest,’ I said, ‘where do the postmen get their uniforms?’
‘They’re supplied by the post office,’ he answered.
I thanked them both for their time and bid them good-day.
‘Don’t forget tonight’s concert,’ I said as I departed.
‘No,’ said Dotterel, ‘we won’t.’
I hurried back to the cake. Obviously I wouldn’t be able to acquire any new clothes before the performance, but I made a mental note to tackle the problem as soon as possible afterwards. Meanwhile, the lights over the orchestra pit would have to be kept dim.
The hours were marching quickly by, and soon it was six thirty. I spoke to Greylag and he assured me that the orchestra was fully prepared.
‘Excellent,’ I said. ‘Well, good luck, Greylag, and I’ll see you later on.’
The musicians were giving their instruments a final inspection; I left them to it and took up my position at the front door. A full house was expected, word having spread about the interest expressed by the visitors. Punctual as ever, Grosbeak, Merganser and Gadwall arrived at ten to seven, wearing appropriate dress uniform. This comprised the usual olive drab, but with the addition of creamy-white ornamental braiding. The imperial officers-of-state all turned up in good time, attired in their finest dandy coats. They were followed by select members of the public, assorted postmen and artisans and then, finally, the troupe of strolling players. Gallinule led the latter inside with his usual flourish. I noticed once again that Mestolone was absent from their company. This was the second occasion to my knowledge that he’d steered clear of the newcomers, and I began to surmise that he wasn’t particularly keen on them. Still, there was no time to dwell further on the matter. It was a minute to seven so I made my way to my seat.