Almost all slang terms for orgasm throughout history refer to male orgasms, rather than female. When it comes to orgasm slang, women share with men rather than owning their own: cumming, spending, climaxing, orgasming, etc. are all unisex, with the possible exception of squirting. While there are thousands of nouns for semen, how many can you think of for the natural lubricant women secrete during sex? It doesn’t even have a word of its own in English. In medical parlance, it’s called vaginal mucus, or vaginal secretion. The French call this fluid cyprine, from ‘Cyprus’, the birthplace of Aphrodite, goddess of love. Not to be outdone by the French, Roger’s Profanisaurus arrived in the 1990s to nourish the English lexical wasteland with such gems as ‘fanny batter’ and ‘gusset icing’. However welcome such additions may be, the fact remains that slang for semen and the male orgasm could fill a dictionary, and the female equivalent could fill a footnote.
Perhaps it’s not too surprising that male and female orgasms are discussed in very different terms. Elisabeth Lloyd’s comprehensive analysis of thirty-three studies of sexual behaviour, conducted over the past eighty years, reveals that up to 80 per cent of women have difficulty orgasming from vaginal intercourse alone and between 5 per cent and 10 per cent of women never experience an orgasm.{1} Ever. To date, there have only been a handful of studies into the orgasms of trans women after penile-inversion vaginoplasty, but this research has shown that 18 per cent of trans women could not orgasm by masturbation alone, 14 per cent of trans women complained of anorgasmia, and up to 20 per cent experienced difficulty orgasming post-surgery.{2} Studies have shown that most women require at least twenty minutes of sexual activity to climax and there are myriad factors that can kibosh a lady’s snap, crackle and pop: age, stress, atmosphere, smells, self-esteem.{3} Frankly, it’s a known flight risk.
Comparably straightforward a male orgasm may be, but the history of male orgasm is anything but simple. The historical understanding of what happened to a man’s body and soul once he had ‘blown his beans’ (1972) is a dark and deeply troubling one. From the medieval theologians who actually recommended beans to cure impotence as they believed an erection was caused by air inflating the penis, to Roman priests of Cybele who castrated themselves in frenzied ceremonies, it’s been a bumpy ride for the ‘hot rod’ (1972). But it’s the link between orgasm and energy that I want to focus on here, the ancient theory that orgasm weakens a man’s strength and drains his masculine virility. You know the one. In Rocky (1976), the Italian Stallion’s legendary trainer, Mickey, tells him ‘women weaken legs’.{4} British sprinter Linford Christie used to say making love the night before a race made his legs feel ‘like lead’.{5} Boxer Carl Froch abstained from sex for three months before knocking out George Groves in their world title fight.{6} Each world cup, rumours abound about which coach has imposed a nookie embargo on his players before a match.
It’s important before going any further to state that there is absolutely no scientific data to support this theory. A 2016 systematic review of all the current scientific evidence on the effects of sexual activity on sport performance found that ‘evidence suggests that sexual activity the day before competition does not exert any negative impact on performance’.{7} The New York Yankees manager Casey Stengel once said, ‘it’s not the sex that wrecks these guys, it’s staying up all night looking for it’.{8} However, the myth persists.
The theory that orgasm creates an energy leak stretches back to ancient China and Taoism. A key belief within Taoism is seminal vitality (yuan ching), and that semen must not leave the body, but be reabsorbed to nourish the brain (huan jing). While a man is encouraged to have sex, he must not orgasm if the life force is to be preserved. The Classic of Su Nu (c. AD 200–500) is a text in the form of a debate between the Yellow Emperor and the goddess Su Nu. The emperor asks the goddess how he can preserve his vital energies, and she tells him to cease ejaculating during sex.
One act without emission makes the ch’i strong. Two acts without emission makes the hearing acute and the vision clear. Three acts without emission makes all ailments disappear. Four acts without emission and the ‘five spirits’ are all at peace. Five acts without emission makes the pulse full and relaxed. Six acts without emission strengthens the waist and back. Seven acts without emission gives power to the buttocks and thigh. Eight acts without emission causes the whole body to be radiant. Nine acts without emission and one will enjoy unlimited longevity. Ten acts without emission and one attains the realm of the immortals.{9}
Taoism taught that ingesting vaginal secretions would strengthen the Yang (male) essence. Therefore, pussy was not only celebrated, it was a superfood. Suck on that, kale crisps. Semen retention is still widely practised in Taoism and Neotantra groups today, who believe energy and health can be increased by corking the cum. But before you all start saving up your ‘axel grease’ (1983) for some cosmic spunk dump, research from Harvard University has linked not ejaculating with a marked increase in prostate cancer. ‘Men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 33 per cent lower risk of prostate cancer compared with men who reported four to seven ejaculations a month throughout their lifetimes.’{10} An Australian study had similar findings, and found that men who ejaculated four to seven times a week were 36 per cent less likely to develop prostate cancer than men who ejaculated less than two or three times a week.{11} But I digress.{12}
The Ancient Greeks and Romans also believed that constantly ‘cracking your marbles’ (1967) was damaging to your health and depleted essential energy reserves. Hippocrates taught that a healthy body required a balancing of the humour fluids (blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm). Logically, losing too much ‘baby juice’ (1901) could disturb this delicate balance and affect health. Aristotle believed that too much sex activity could stunt your growth. Plutarch advised men to ‘store up his seed’. Plato wrote, ‘if any man retains his semen, he is strong, and the proof is athletes who are abstinent’. To make sure there were no nocturnal emissions, Galen recommended athletes sleep on lead plates.