"Did you take anything?"
He shook his head. "I was meaning to, but not yet. I haven't been there since the day the police called me to tell me she'd died."
Upon my request, he gave me a photograph of his daughter, taken when she was sixteen. He was right: she looked nothing like him. Moria had springy dark curls, deep-set soulful eyes, and a large mouth with plump lips. Her smile showed a sliver of teeth and seemed to hint at secrets, or perhaps that impression was the product of what I knew of her fate. She wasn't beautiful, yet still pretty in the way girls on the verge of womanhood often are.
Still in a generous mood, Gafni decided to see me out. As we were crossing the outer office, with the blonde secretary at her desk arranging papers, he asked, "I trust you'll start right away, Mr. Lapid?" A demand posed as a question.
"I'll head to Jerusalem first thing tomorrow," I said.
We exited the office, descended the stairs, and halted at the entrance to the production hall, where the machines still clamored.
"Look at that," Gafni said, gesturing with his arm. "The newest of these machines is over ten years old. They keep breaking down, and it's getting harder to fix them. But here in Israel, they're the best we can get. In the meantime, do you know what's happening in Germany? The country is filled with modern factories with top-of-the-line machinery, pumping out quality products they sell all over the world, including to countries that fought against the Nazis. Some are calling it an economic miracle."
He paused, waiting for a reaction, but I gave him none. The incredible economic revival of Germany was hardly news. The newspapers had been reporting it for at least a year. I read these reports with impotent resentment and an involuntary awe that never failed to leave me ashamed. Germany, at least the western part of it, had managed to rise from near ultimate destruction and resurrect its economy in record time. As someone who had witnessed the devastation of Germany soon after the war, I could scarcely believe it.
How had they done it? The only answer I could come up with was that the Germans had simply shifted the focus of their immense talents. From blitzkrieg to business; from industrial slaughter to industrial production. Germany's newfound prosperity enraged me. It screamed injustice. Why did this nation, so soon after committing so many heinous crimes, deserve such good fortune? And why, at the same time, did Israel find itself sinking ever deeper into poverty and want?
Gafni said, "The reparations the Germans will give us won't be just money. Mostly, they'll pay us with goods, finished products, and modern machinery factories like mine need." His lips were parted and moist, and I could see greed glistening in his eyes like blood-drenched pieces of silver.
I couldn't speak or move a muscle. The shock was too great. This was the first time I'd met a person who supported negotiations with Germany for personal rather than national interests. Then Gafni looked once more at his toiling employees, and the paralysis evaporated, and in its place came a bone-deep tingling, a flash of heat in my throat and face, a clenching of the muscles in my arms and hands.
The urge to hit him was sudden and powerful. I pictured my fist connecting with his plump face, breaking teeth, crushing bone, splitting skin. I was on the verge of succumbing to uncontrollable anger, the kind that had engulfed me yesterday outside the Knesset.
"Hello, Baruch," a man's baritone sounded from behind me, yanking me back off the ledge. As Gafni began turning around, I forced my teeth apart and unfurled my fists, pressing my fingers against the sides of my trousers to keep them from bunching again.
"Arye," Gafni said, with a deep frown. "I didn't think we had anything more to discuss." His jaw was clenched. His eyes flicked from the man to me and back again.
"I forgot a copy of my proposal in your office. I thought I'd drop by and get it," the man said, then paused, waiting for an introduction that Gafni failed to deliver.
He was forty-four or five. A handsome man in an expensive suit and coat, just under six feet and on the thin side, with a full head of black hair, a solid jaw, a high forehead, and clear blue eyes that might have been more at home on a child's face. Those same eyes were now probing me with evident curiosity, taking in my weary face and dirty clothes.
A few more seconds passed; then he flashed me a suave smile and reached out a hand. "Arye Harpaz."
"Adam Lapid," I said.
He pumped my hand, giving it a good, solid squeeze. Assertive, yet not overbearing. His handshake seemed to say, "A lesser man might have tried to crush your hand, but I'm confident enough to not need to."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," he said. "What line of work—"
"Come, Arye, let's go to my office," Gafni interrupted. "Mr. Lapid was just leaving." It was another command in camouflage, this time posing as a fact, and I felt the urge again, a vibration in my fingers. I tamped it down, muttered a quick goodbye, and ducked out of the building.
Out on the sidewalk, I let out a shaky breath, then swore in Hungarian. That was close. Much too close. I needed to keep my head. I couldn't allow myself to lose control. Not if I wanted to stay out of jail.
I marched away, hands in pockets to ward off the afternoon chill. The sky was an ominous pewter, the cloud cover low and thick. The air carried the sharp smell of both recent and imminent rain.
As I walked, I tried to squash my anger, but the memory of Gafni's amoral selfishness was like gasoline poured over a righteous fire. I told myself it didn't matter, that Gafni's position on the question of reparations meant nothing. He was a client. I didn't have to like him. In fact, it was probably better that I didn't.
I turned north at the nearest corner and found a kiosk. I bought a pack of cigarettes, tore it open, and put fire to one of its inhabitants. I sucked in the smoke as though it were oxygen, staring blankly at the buildings across the road, seeing little past my black thoughts.
When the first cigarette was down to its filter, I used it to light a second before tossing the remnant into a gutter. The smoke had dulled the edge of my fury, but I was still simmering. I hated the thought of working for a man like Gafni, someone who was willing to sell out his people's honor for private gain. I'd had unscrupulous, even criminal clients before and had managed to give them service and take their money without it bothering my conscience all that much, but doing the same for Gafni made my skin crawl.
I told myself I was overreacting, but it didn't seem to do much good. Maybe I'd become impervious to logic and good sense. Birnbaum would likely have said so.
I blew out a mouthful of smoke and watched it dissipate. That made me think of another smoke, thicker and blacker and smelling like death, smoke from tall brick chimneys under a Polish sky, and I clenched my eyes shut and shook my head, wondering if I was going crazy.
Then something occurred to me, and I plunged a hand into my pocket, grabbed my wallet, and from it took out the photograph Gafni had given me. I stared at Moria's smiling face, frozen at sixteen when her world was brighter and more optimistic, when the possibility of self-annihilation was unthinkable.
Looking at the photograph, I tried to do the impossible, to read into the girl's future, into the years that had passed since this picture was taken, to uncover what had led Moria to decide to swallow those pills and end her life.
Of course, the answer was not there, but something nearly as important was. A lifeline. A way to reconcile my distaste for Gafni with the necessity of pursuing this case. For as I gazed at Moria's girlish face, I decided I was working for her, not her father. It was her truth I was chasing. If there was justice to be had, it would be for her.
Nodding to myself, I took a deep breath and let it leak out of me in a single even flow, growing calmer and at greater peace with myself. After one final glance at the photo, I returned it to my wallet and put the wallet back in my pocket.