It runs in the family, except me and him are different in the sense that you canni stop me talking. I just talk all the time. The weans in the class canni get a word in edgeways. Hey Nicola your two are looking good. They’re growing. John’s bloody sprouting! How is he in school?
Cheeky.
Pat laughed. Cheeky’s good. And the wee yin, how’s she? ach she’s astute — even at four years auld ye can see she’s got it, and she gets it from you.
What’re you talking about!
Naw I just mean christ Nicola ye know what I’m talking about, really, it’s to do with the quiet way she has but ye know she’s taking heed of every precise detail, every precise detail. Maybe it has to do with an essential difference between the sexes.
Well we’re no as cheeky.
Patrick nodded, but he was not sure if she was being sarcastic. He stared at his cup.
There’s more in the pot.
Aye … he got up and refilled his cup and he topped up Nicola’s when she held the cup to him. I think I’ve had four whiskies, two superlagers and two bottles of big Arthur’s homebrew; two-and-a-half bowls of soup and a couple of slices of bread, a plateful of liver and potatoes and now two cups of tea, and a biscuit. He frowned: How in the name of the holies can the belly stand such carnage!
Nicola chuckled, covering her face with her hand for a moment.
Naw, when you think about it! Hey have ye ever heard of the Pythagoreans at all? I mean you know auld bloody Pythagoras and his theorem?
The Pythagoras Theorem. Yeh.
Aye but he was more than that — if he was a he, the whole thing’s so dense he might’ve been a she; almost nothing’s known about him at all, a genuine legendary figure — he had a lot of followers and amongst other things they put together a list of dos and donts, many of which concerned the eating of grub. For example, they wouldnt eat beans. They also abstained from the flesh of dead animals.
Vegetarians.
Vegetarians. Patrick frowned. You’re dead right. I had forgotten that. The Pythagoreans were vegefuckingtarians. That’s me finished with them and their harmony. And they can shove their transmigration up their bums! Cause that as well was something about them that was quite interesting, they believed in the transmigration of souls. Interesting in terms of after-lives. I was wanting to get these second-yearers of mine onto that as a wee bit of detection work. What was I going to say anyway? In fact I think it was to do with farting and beans and common sense, being full of wind. Just like me! But eh there’s another interesting link as well and that’s the Manicheans who used to actually stuff their kids so full of vegetables that many of them died … Pat smiled at Nicola. I’m actually bloody gibbering. A bag of wind. All teachers are bags of wind. They should stick us all into these black plastic bags and tie up the ends and then wait for a strong gale force wind to be blowing and fling us all off the top storey of the Red Road flats. Have you ever been at the top of the Red Road flats, beautiful, looking right down the Clyde Valley and seeing Goat Fell across in Arran?
The Red Road flats is a terrible place to live.
Aw I know.
Are you going to be driving home?
Pardon?
She smiled. She studied the cup she was holding.
Pat waited for a few seconds before speaking. What I meant there about Elizabeth is she’s got a sense of peace. John has it as well right enough but I think she has it more. It’s a real sense of peace.
Pat. Women have to listen more than men, that’s why they’ve got a sense of peace as you call it; they’re used to listening — that’s what they have to do all the time, listen to men talking. Yet to hear them you’d think it was us did it. And not only listen to them, women have to watch them all the time as well, they’ve got to study their moods, they’ve got to see it’s alright to speak if this is the bloody time you can ask the question or no, is it the wrong time and you’ll have to wait, because half the time men just areni willing to listen to something if they dont want to hear it, it gets ye down. I canni be annoyed with it. I’m not criticising you Pat but I think you’ve got a glamourised view of women which is wrong, it really is wrong. The Red Road flats is an awful place to live. When I was at school in Balornock I had a friend and she had a cousin living there and her mother killed herself.
Pat was about to say something but he stopped.
Nicola said, It was an awful place to live; it still is.
I know.
Well okay Pat but how’re you no saying that instead of talking about the bloody view ye get down the Firth of Clyde! It’s the same as driving. Gavin told me you were thinking of driving home, but you’re no fit. You’ll take your car out there and you’ll kill somebody, or you’ll get killed yourself.
I’m actually okay Nicola.
You’re not okay at all. Take the bus.
I’m totally sober.
Totally sober. How can ye be with what you’ve had to drink?
Aye but Nicola I took it over a period of time and plus I’ve had the grub.
You’ve slurred your words.
…
You have.
Naw I’ve no.
Yes you have Pat. Since we’ve been talking the gether.
I’ve slurred my words?
Yes, you’ve slurred your words.
He nodded.
Nicola glanced about her, and got her black handbag from the floor; she brought out her cigarettes and lighter and when she inhaled smoke she coughed a very internalised sort of cough. Pat said: Tobacco’s a drug as well.
You dont kill people by doing it.
Eh …
I hate drink.
I’m no gonni drive home.
It just destroys things.
What I’m saying I’ll just leave the motor car. I’ll take a bus … Patrick smiled … This new guy in school, he was telling me he had to make the decision about drinking and driving, an either/or case — guess what he chose?
The car?
He sold the bloody car!
Nicola laughed.
Honest, I’m no kidding ye, he selt the bloody motor. That’s what I call free will and determination!
Nicola was smiling. You’ll definitely take the bus?
Aye.
Gavin was actually worried ye know.
Was he?
Yeh. He was.
Ach! Pat shook his head. He glanced at Nicola: That lassie I’ve told you about, she’s married.
Married!
Aye.
Mm. That’s no so good. I didni know she was married.
Patrick nodded. That’s because I didni tell ye. The other thing is as well, really, I’ve got to say: we’re no … going the gether. If ever we are gonni reach that stage then we definitely havent reached it at the minute, just now, at this present moment. Although last night was eh good in the sense that eh I suppose I really actually managed to tell her, to actually let her know what was what, with me I mean.
Och Pat.
What? Och Pat what! Dont be sorry for me. Christ that’s all I bloody need — pity!
It’s no pity.
It’s just taken me a while. It’s taken me a while, to work things out. I’ve had to work things out, that’s all. I’ve just wanted to make sure things were right. Otherwise it wouldni have been fair.
Nicola nodded.
It just wouldni have been fair. I had to try and make sure. So that I knew, and I wasni gonni sort of upset everything, if I just kind of maybe I dont know, rushed in or something. It wouldni have been fair.
In what way Pat?
Aw just to do with her I mean. I dont actually care if eh well I do care — ah christ I’m no sure, I’ve got to work things out.
But then you’re saying ye have worked things out! Nicola was smiling.
Aye. I’m just no sure. I’m just no sure. But I’m resigned. I’m resigned. Christ, I think that’s what it is, I’m resigned. This is me realising it for the very first time. There ye are. That’s one thing. That’s the one thing. Patrick smiled: Did ye hear I was chucking the job?