‘It’s not bad news,’ he says, before quickly destroying everything. ‘But it’s not good news, either.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘There’s nothing specific on the blood test. We can send it off for further examination but it’s costly and, if I’m honest, I’m not sure it will be of benefit at the moment.’
‘I still don’t understand what that means.’
He smiles kindly. ‘I think he’s probably eaten something that’s not quite right,’ the vet says. ‘Sometimes on a walk, dogs can ingest something they shouldn’t. If it was something serious, something to worry about, there would be indications on the blood work.’
It suddenly feels like I can breathe again. ‘He’s got food poisoning?’
The vet nods. ‘Something like that. I don’t want to get too far ahead, but I’ll give you some medicine that should help settle Billy’s tummy. We’ll give him some here and you can help him with a second dose later. He’ll likely need to sleep it off and you can see how he is tomorrow. If you need to come back, we can look again.’
‘He’s going to be okay?’
Another nod. ‘Give it a few days and he should be back to his old self.’
Chapter Twenty-Six
After Billy’s first injection, the vet says he should be feeling a little sprightlier soon. I pay the receptionist with yet more of the cash from the envelope and then Billy and I sit in the waiting room for a few minutes, waiting to see if he perks up.
With little else to do, I type Jade’s name into my phone and search for anything new. Karen’s sources might have been dodgily third- or fourth-hand, but they seem to be accurate. Although there’s nothing that names Jade specifically, there are now a couple of news stories saying a body was discovered by a couple of hikers at Dale Park Woods. There are few other details, but it is definitely not good. The poor girl.
It’s hard not to flash back to the times when I saw her and wonder if I could have done more. Perhaps she was in trouble – and all I did was ask dull questions about how her course was going, or throw out inane lines about it being a bit chilly out, and the like. I remember Lauren, the building manager, calling to ask if I’d seen her – and how I didn’t question that Jade had upped and left without paying rent. Karen and I both shrugged it off, while, all the time, something far worse had either happened or was happening.
I’m brought back into the room by Billy rubbing his nose on my ankle. His eyelids are still droopy, but he looks up to me and there’s recognition. It’s like the sun has emerged after a long winter and I’m filled with such relief that I have to blink away tears.
This time, Billy clambers into the buggy himself. I’m going to have to carry it back to Hamilton House anyway, so he might as well use it. Rather than flopping to the side, he wriggles himself into a sitting position and then waits for me to strap him in. He licks his tongue across his teeth and looks to me as if to say, Well, what are we waiting for?
I thank the receptionist again and have an odd moment of déjà vu. I was standing in the same spot what feels like hours ago. I was panicking that Billy might be dying… and now everything feels as if it’s going to be okay.
It’s a few minutes back to the bus stop and it’s while we’re waiting there that I get a tap on the shoulder. I turn to see Daff, staring at me curiously. It occurs to me that we’ve never actually seen one another away from Crosstown Supermarket. For all her offers of nights out and the like, I’ve never once taken her up. Our entire relationship has been within the four walls of work – and it’s like I’m looking at an alternate version of her. She’s in skinny jeans and a Pink Floyd vest, with a denim jacket over the top.
‘Well, look who it is,’ she says with a grin, before turning towards the buggy. ‘I didn’t know you had a—’ Her features dissolve into a curious mix of amusement and confusion. ‘I was going to say child,’ she adds.
‘I had to take him to the vet,’ I reply.
Daff takes a moment to go gooey over Billy, showering him with affection that he reluctantly reciprocates by sniffing her hands.
When she’s done, Daff turns back and slaps me playfully on the shoulder: ‘You abandoned me!’ she says. ‘Jonathan said you’d left. One minute you were there, then you’d gone. What happened?’
I fight away a smile. I’d been worried about running into anyone from the supermarket in case they all knew the real reason why I’d been fired. But Jonathan kept it to himself. I don’t deserve it.
‘I was having a few issues,’ I say. ‘I talked with Jonathan and decided it was best if I left the job.’
It’s politician speak. Off to seek new ventures, and all that. Spending some time with the family. Saying nothing in as many words as possible.
Daff isn’t stupid. She waits for me to follow up, but, when it’s clear that’s all there is, she shrugs it away.
‘I’m gonna miss our chats,’ she says.
‘Me, too.’
‘Good luck, I guess. You’ll have to come out with us one night…’
I smile weakly: ‘Maybe.’
She laughs at that and there’s a tug from within me, saying that I wasn’t as isolated as I thought. It’s true that I kept saying no to these offers of friendship – but they kept coming nonetheless. That had to mean something.
‘I’ll see ya around,’ Daff says. She ruffles Billy’s ears, gives me a small wave and then bounds off along the street.
There are more sideways glances and illicit photos on the bus. I’ll be an Instagram star without even knowing it. Or, more to the point, Billy will. #BuggyDog #BuggyDogOnABus #BusDog
By the time the bus pulls up close to Hamilton House, Billy is straining against the straps, so I let him out to walk on the pavement alongside me. He’s still slower than usual and there’s none of the curiosity he would usually have for lamp posts, walls and bushes – but the fact he’s walking is such an improvement.
After reading the news stories about Jade, I half expect there to be reporters or police hanging around outside the building – but there’s no one. I can’t help but notice the poster on the lamp post about the item lost on the bus. There’s another taped to a pillar on the opposite side of the road, almost as if they’re breeding.
Upstairs and Billy finishes his water in one go. I refill the bowl for him, but he’s already stomping circles in his bed, trying to get comfortable. The vet bills were a little over £100 and, even if it was my own money, I’d have found a way to pay it.
I sit with him on the floor for a little while, but he shrugs me away, wanting to be left to himself. This is the Billy I know and love. Friendliness is one thing – but affection and sleep do not mix. Or friendliness and his sleep. He’s fine injecting himself into my rest times.
Leaving him be, I park myself on the sofa and open the laptop. My new laptop, bought with someone else’s money. I open my email, type in the address from the poster and sit staring at the blank space. This is the test of who I am and I want to be a good person. My fingers tremble as I hover over the keys.
Hi. I found your money. Do you want it back?
There’s a moment in which I almost hit send, but then I read back the line and instantly delete it. My next attempt isn’t much better:
Hi. I found what you lost. Do you want it back?
I run through half-a-dozen terrible variations until settling on something far simpler.
Hi. I take the same bus as you. What is it you lost?
I read this new version over and then send it from my second email account. It’s the one I use to sign up for things online so that all the spam ends up in one place, while emails that actually matter arrive elsewhere. More importantly, the alternate address does not have my real name attached to it.