‘Snoring is not proof of being asleep,’ said Dudley.
‘But I was not snoring,’ said Blanche, in the easier tone of one losing grasp of a situation. ‘I should have known it myself. It would not be possible to be awake and make a noise and not hear it.’
Justine gave an arch look at anyone who would receive it, Edgar did so as a duty and rapidly withdrew his eyes as another.
‘Why do we not learn that no one ever snores under any circumstances?’ said Clement.
‘I wonder how the idea of snoring arose,’ said Mark.
‘Mother, are you going to eat no more than that?’ said Justine. ‘You are not ashamed of eating as well as of sleeping, I hope.’
‘There has been no question of sleeping. And I am not ashamed of either. I always eat very well and I always sleep very badly. There is no connexion between them.’
‘You seem to be making an exception in the first matter today,’ said her husband.
‘Well, it upsets me to be contradicted, Edgar, and told that I do things when I don’t do them, and when I know quite well what I do, myself,’ said Blanche, almost flouncing in her chair.
‘It certainly does, Mother dear. So we will leave it at that; that you know quite well what you do yourself.’
‘It seems a reasonable conclusion,’ said Mark.
‘I believe people always know that best,’ said Dudley. ‘If we could see ourselves as others see us, we should be much more misled, though people always talk as if we ought to try to do it.’
‘They want us to be misled and cruelly,’ said his nephew.
‘I don’t know,’ said Justine. ‘We might often meet a good, sound, impartial judgement.’
‘And we know, when we have one described like that, what a dreadful judgement it is,’ said her uncle.
‘Half the truth, the blackest of lies,’ said Mark.
‘The whitest of lies really,’ said Clement. ‘Or there is no such thing as a white lie.’
‘Well, there is not,’ said his sister. ‘Truth is truth and a lie is a lie.’
‘What is Truth?’ said Aubrey. ‘Has Justine told us?’
‘Truth is whatever happens to be true under the circumstances,’ said his sister, doing so at the moment. ‘We ought not to mind a searchlight being turned on our inner selves, if we are honest about them.’
‘That is our reason,’ said Mark. ‘“Know thyself” is a most superfluous direction. We can’t avoid it.’
‘We can only hope that no one else knows,’ said Dudley.
‘Uncle, what nonsense!’ said Justine. ‘You are the most transparent and genuine person, the very last to say that.’
‘What do you all really mean?’ said Edgar, speaking rather hurriedly, as if to check any further personal description.
‘I think I only mean’, said his brother, ‘that human beings ought always to be judged very tenderly, and that no one will be as tender as themselves. “Remember what you owe to yourself” is another piece of superfluous advice.’
‘But better than most advice,’ said Aubrey, lowering his voice as he ended. ‘More tender.’
‘Now, little boy, hurry up with your breakfast,’ said Justine. ‘Mr Penrose will be here in a few minutes.’
‘To pursue his life work of improving Aubrey,’ said Clement.
‘Clement ought to have ended with a sigh,’ said Aubrey. ‘But I daresay the work has its own unexpected rewards.’
‘I forget what I learned at Eton,’ said his uncle.
‘Yes, so do I; yes, so to a great extent do I,’ said Edgar. ‘Yes, I believe I forgot the greater part of it.’
‘You can’t really have lost it, Father,’ said Justine. ‘An education in the greatest school in the world must have left its trace. It must have contributed to your forming.’
‘It does not seem to matter that I can’t go to school,’ said Aubrey. ‘It will be a shorter cut to the same end.’
‘Now, little boy, don’t take that obvious line. And remember that self-education is the greatest school of all.’
‘And education by Penrose? What is that?’
‘Say Mr Penrose. And get on with your breakfast,’
‘He has only had one piece of toast,’ said Blanche, in a tone which suggested that it would be one of despair if the situation were not familiar. ‘And he is a growing boy.’
‘I should not describe him in those terms,’ said Mark.
‘I should be at a loss to describe him,’ said Clement.
‘Don’t be silly,’ said their mother at once. ‘You are both of you just as difficult to describe.’
‘Some people defy description,’ said Aubrey. ‘Uncle and I are among them.’
‘There is something in it,’ said Justine, looking round.
‘Perhaps we should not — it may be as well not to discuss people who are present,’ said Edgar.
‘Right as usual, Father. I wish the boys would emulate you.’
‘Oh, I think they do, dear,’ said Blanche, in an automatic tone. ‘I see a great likeness in them both to their father. It gets more striking.’
‘And does no one think poor Uncle a worthy object of emulation? He is as experienced and polished a person as Father.’
Edgar looked up at this swift disregard of accepted advice.
‘I am a changeling,’ said Dudley. ‘Aubrey and I are very hard to get hold of.’
‘And you can’t send a person you can’t put your finger on to school,’ said his nephew.
‘You can see that he does the next best thing,’ said Justine. ‘Off with you at once. There is Mr Penrose on the steps. Don’t keep the poor little man waiting.’
‘Justine refers to every other person as poor,’ said Clement.
‘Well, I am not quite without the bowels of human compassion. The ups and downs of the world do strike me, I confess.’
‘Chiefly the downs.’
‘Well, there are more of them.’
‘Poor little man,’ murmured Aubrey, leaving his seat. ‘Whose little man is he? I am Justine’s little boy.’
‘It seems — is it not rather soon after breakfast to work?’ said Edgar.
‘They go for a walk first, as you know, Father. It is good for Aubrey to have a little adult conversation apart from his family. I asked Mr Penrose to make the talk educational.
‘Did you, dear?’ said Blanche, contracting her eyes. ‘I think you should leave that kind of thing to Father or me.’
‘Indeed I should not, Mother. And not have it done at all? That would be a nice alternative. I should do all I can for you all, as it comes into my head, as I always have and always shall. Don’t try to prevent what is useful and right.’
Blanche subsided under this reasonable direction.
‘Now off with you both! Off to your occupations,’ said Justine, waving her hand towards her brothers. ‘I hope you have some. I have, and they will not wait.’
‘I am glad I have none,’ said Dudley. ‘I could not bear to have regular employment.’
‘Do you know what I have discovered?’ said his niece. ‘I have discovered a likeness between our little boy and you, Uncle. A real, incontrovertible and bona fide likeness. It is no good for you all to open your eyes. I have made my discovery and will stick to it.’
‘I have always thought they were alike,’ said Blanche.
‘Oh, now, Mother, that is not at all on the line. You know it has only occurred to you at this moment.’
‘No, I am bound to say’, said Edgar, definite in the interests of justice, ‘that I have heard your mother point out a resemblance.’
‘Then dear little Mother, she has got in first, and I am the last person to grudge her the credit. So you see it, Mother? Because I am certain of it, certain. I should almost have thought that Uncle would see it himself.’
‘We can hardly expect him to call attention to it,’ said Clement.
‘I am aware of it,’ said Dudley, ‘and I invite the attention of you all.’