“That’s not Professor K,” Gus said.
“Definitely not,” Shawn said. “Then there’s type number two. This is the hard-core conspiracy freak, the guy who knows exactly who killed Sonny Bono and why.”
“Sonny Bono?” Gus said. “I thought he skied into a tree.”
“That’s exactly what they wanted you to think,” Shawn said. “And it worked so well they did it to Natasha Richardson, too.”
“That doesn’t make any sense at all,” Gus said.
“Not to you or me, but to him,” Shawn said. “This kind of conspiracy nut can take seemingly random bits of information from anywhere and weave them together into one long narrative. And it will always make sense-at least, to him. Once you expose it to real-world logic, it falls apart. But these people see real-world logic as another part of the cover-up, and they accuse anyone who tries to talk them out of their delusion of being part of the plan.”
“So you’re talking about crazy people,” Gus said.
“Not just crazy,” Shawn said. “Crazy and dangerous. These are the ones who are so convinced they’re right that they’re willing to act on their beliefs. They’ll do anything to fight off the conspiracy, including committing violent acts.”
“You’re not saying that Professor Kitteredge is one of them?” Gus said, trying to imagine his old teacher crouching in a basement rec room wearing a tinfoil hat to keep out the mind-rays.
“No, because these people are so paranoid they’re completely incapable of functioning in normal society,” Shawn said. “You can’t spend your days finding ways in which Brandon Lee’s death is connected to the space shuttle explosion and the mysterious two-year disappearance of Wonder Bread from Southern California grocery shelves and still convince a university to let you talk in front of teenagers. Unless you teach economics, of course, and even then the tenure committee is going to look at you funny when you come up for review.”
“You said there were three kinds of people who believe in conspiracy theories,” Gus said. “I guess that makes Professor Kitteredge type number three.”
“That would be my guess, too,” Shawn said. “These are people who are on the surface indistinguishable from you or me. They seem intelligent, well-spoken, thoughtful. They’ve got meaningful jobs-or even careers. They’ve got rich, full social lives and the respect of their peers, and they seem to be normal, or better than normal, to the outside world. But one day they stumble on a piece of information that doesn’t make sense to them, and unlike everybody else, they decide to follow it. And so it leads them to another piece of information and another, and soon they’re weaving them all together into a grand narrative of dark deeds.”
“Wait a minute,” Gus said. “How is that any different from the last guys you described?”
“Because these people,” Shawn said solemnly, “are brilliant. And the connections they come up with are brilliant. So brilliant, in fact, that any intelligent person who hears them could immediately see how they might be true.”
The words hit Gus like a fist. “Are you saying that Professor Kitteredge really has stumbled across a global conspiracy and they’ve framed him for murder to shut him up?”
“It’s possible,” Shawn said. “In the same way it’s possible that the car we’re in could actually be an alien transforming robot and you could be Megan Fox. But either way, he’s a danger to himself and everyone around him. Because his belief is a black hole that can suck in everything in its path.”
For the first time in hours, Gus felt strength flowing back into his limbs. He could actually do something to help his old professor. Better yet, they could do something.
Except for one small problem.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Gus said. “I’m thrilled that you’ve come around to this way of thinking. And I’m delighted that you’re willing to help Professor Kitteredge. But how are we going to help him when we don’t have any idea where he is?”
“You mean when you don’t have any idea where he is,” Shawn said.
“You do?”
“I know exactly where he is,” Shawn said. “And if you turn this car around, I’ll take you to him.”
Chapter Eleven
The lemon-poppy seed cake was even better than it looked. The citrus flavor was mild, yet sharp enough to ameliorate the richness of the huge amounts of butter. The black seeds scattered not only on top of the icing but throughout the crumb provided an appealing crunch with every bite.
The only problem with the lemon-poppy seed cake served by the cafe in the Santa Barbara Museum of Art, as far as Gus could see, was that it provided no clue to the whereabouts of Professor Langston Kitteredge.
“Tell me again what we’re doing here.” Gus leaned across the small table until his mouth was almost pressed against Shawn’s ear. “Because there’s no way Professor Kitteredge is going to stop in for a sandwich when every cop north of Los Angeles is hunting for him.”
Shawn ran his fork through the last traces of chocolate icing on his own plate and licked off the tines. “I wouldn’t be so sure,” he said. “It’s a pretty good sandwich. Just look at this place.”
Gus glanced around the room. The cafe was certainly popular. Every table was filled with art lovers here to check out the collection of European paintings, young parents eager to expose their small children to the joys of culture, and tourists determined to see every last attraction in the Santa Barbara area before they headed back to Minneapolis.
Even in this large crowd, however, Gus couldn’t help feeling conspicuous. Because while the room might have been reaching its fire department-sanctioned occupancy limit of one hundred and twenty-nine people, only two men in the entire crowd were wearing tuxedos. And every one of those hundred and twenty-nine had taken a moment to stare at Shawn and Gus as they’d walked past carrying their trays.
“I have been looking at this place almost as much as this place has been looking at me,” Gus said. “It’s hard to be inconspicuous when you’re the only one wearing formal wear in an informal setting.”
“We don’t need to be inconspicuous,” Shawn said. “The police aren’t looking for us. No one is.”
“What about that guy?” Gus said. Across the room, a burly man in a “Ski the Big Potato” T-shirt and khaki shorts that strongly suggested he lived in some area that rarely saw the sun kept looking up from his mousy wife and two squabbling toddlers to stare at them.
Shawn glanced over at the man and saw. Saw the darker tan on his left arm. Saw the way the kids turned only to their mother to plead their case. Saw the faint traces of bruising around his right eye.
“He’s a long-haul trucker,” Shawn said. “Spends twenty-three days of every month on the road, and then he’s forced to go home to that lovely family. His wife made him take them to Santa Barbara on vacation in hopes of bringing the magic back to their marriage, but when they went to the beach he spent the whole time staring at young girls in bikinis, and the missus has been furious with him ever since. Now all he wants is to take the family back to Idaho, get in his rig, and drive as far from home as he can possibly get.”
“You can’t know that,” Gus said.
“Can’t I?” Shawn said.
“No, you can’t,” Gus said.
Shawn cast another glance at the man, who was now glowering openly at them. “Well, there is another possibility,” he said.
“What’s that?”
“That he isn’t a trucker at all,” Shawn said. “And that isn’t really his family. It’s all part of an elaborate cover.”
Gus felt his throat tightening. He knew the answer to his next question, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking it anyway. “Cover for what?”
“For his role in Kitteredge’s conspiracy,” Shawn said. “He knows the professor is going to have to come back here, and he’s waiting to take him out. But he also knows that we’re here to help. And he’s going to do whatever it takes to stop us.”
Gus felt the lemon-poppy seed cake re-forming into a solid slab in his stomach. “Do you really think that’s possible?” he said.