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Phil could hardly hide the sadistic grin on his face when he saw that I was coming on like an express train. Phil is cruel, really, because he makes me cum again and again, even after I'm tired, and he makes me lose control of myself completely so that I end up every evening in bed with him acting like a lust-driven animal instead of an intelligent human being. And it was no different tonight. I could feel the fluttering little muscles inside of my cant starting to palpitate and nibble at his cock the way they do when I'm getting ready to cum and the lips of my convulsing vagina were all dilated and wet while he pumped his hot searing sperm into me so savagely that I thought he was going to tear me apart.

A tear rolled down off her cheek and moistened the page she was reading as Lynn found herself wondering how a well brought-up girl who was supposed to know right from wrong could ever have put pen to paper and written such awful, obscene, disgusting things. It was bad enough to have done what she had done with Phil, but to have written about them afterwards!

For a moment, she almost felt that she now possessed the courage to carry this horribly incriminating document into the bathroom and flush it down the toilet page by page. But instead she read on, possessed by a strange masochistic desire to torture herself even more, and she flipped through a few pages of the diary to read her recollections of another passionate steamy night in bed with the television executive who she had served as lover and secretary for a torrid six month period.

… Somehow, I'll never be able to forget his cock if I live to be a thousand. It's impossible to describe, but tonight it looked just like an enormous medieval cannon about to fire. I tried not to look at it, but every time I see Phil naked and aroused like that, I can't take my eyes off of his groin, wondering how it is possible for that battering ram to fit up inside my poor tormented body. Every time he throws himself on top of me, I know it's going to hurt like hell when he comes pounding savagely into me, and every time I go ahead and let him do it anyway. Tonight, he was in a real hurry and couldn't be bothered with any of the usual preliminaries… Without so much as saying hello, he pushed me backwards onto the bed with a kind of snarl and climbed on top of my naked body like a wild animal in the mating season and I could feel his hard chest crushing into the softness of my breasts while he probed between my outstretched legs for the tender hair-covered entrance to my eagerly waiting vagina. I should have been happy, I suppose, but somehow this perverse brutality excited me so much that I could hardly breathe and I sucked his tongue into my mouth and thrust my pelvis up against him, wanting that long fat penis inside of me like I had never wanted it before.

It seems crazy to be writing this down on paper, but suddenly I felt my body was just an enormous cant! I was a great big unexplored underground cavern that had to be penetrated and Phil was the brave explorer who was going to march inside of me with his whole body and explore every inch of me! I was going crazy and I almost screamed when I felt the broad, blood-filled tip of his cock jostle against the ragged edges of my vagina, searching impatiently for the opening and teasing the tiny pulsating button of my clitoris. Then he found what he was looking for and shoved! Every time Phil comes skewering into me, I think he's going to split me in two and tonight it was no different. He brutally flicked his hips forward with that funny sadistic grin he has, knowing that he's hurting me and not caring at all, his long fierce cudgel ramming into me to the hilt, so far and so fast that I could feel his balls slapping against my backside as he stretched the rubbery elastic flesh of my battered abused cant almost to the bursting point.

But the pain went away quickly tonight and when it was almost gone, he started sawing in and out of my cruelly stretched pussy as if his life depended upon it. Like always, I began to lose control all over again, and tingles of happy submission came rushing up and down my backbone. My hips started to grind into the mattress as if I wanted to bore a hole in it, and I couldn't keep my silly mouth from babbling obscene dreadful things in his ear, asking him to suck me harder and deeper, and using other words I can't even bring myself to write down on paper.

Before I could get my wits together, sparks started to fly and it happened to me, like always. The moment I felt his fat muscular cock get stiff and hard, and the hot sticky cum start pouring into me, filling me to the brim, a thousand tiny sparks seemed to go floating merrily all through my body. My strength disappeared and he creamed into me like a madman while I lay moaning on the bed, with my legs curled tightly around his back.

Lynn found herself blushing furiously almost as if she were reading these shameful phrases aloud to a group of her friends and the young wife looked around her empty bedroom in fright, half expecting to see her quiet, mild mannered husband sitting in his easy chair next to the bed and demanding an explanation. No, there was no question about it, she told herself with an effort to firmness, it was too dangerous to leave this book in existence. Matt was hardly the type to go prying through her private things, but if he should happen some day to discover these words, it would be all over between them. Perhaps their marriage had been a little dull sexually as far as Lynn was concerned, but Matt seemed to be satisfied and happy; and she knew that his sense of morality and decency would never permit him to live together with a woman who was capable of writing such depraved unholy words as these. The book had to be destroyed!

Nakedly, the young wife walked to the bathroom, now determined to burn the diary page by page and flush the ashes down the toilet so that her descriptions of the last orgies with Phil Agard would be gone forever and a whole shameful chapter of her life would be erased completely. She perched on the edge of the tub and balanced the diary on one naked knee with a book of matches on the other. Trying to keep her courage up, she tore out the first few pages and set them ablaze, choking a little on the thick smoke which immediately filled the bathroom and trying not to yield to the overpowering temptation to read any more of this record of degeneracy and sin. Tears running freely down her cheeks, she resolutely burned her way through the entire six months of her affair with the TV executive, keeping the book upside down so that her eyes could not accidentally pick up some stray phrase or passage which might set her off again. Then she came to the last entry, the one she had written after her last meeting with Phil, the night before she had accepted her husband's offer of marriage. She had to see it one more time and she knew that rereading what had happened between them one last time would give her the moral strength she needed to go ahead and finish the job. Her fingers trembled as she held the last remaining pages up to the bathroom light.

Phil came by after work as promised. He has always been a little rough with me, but actually it was part of the attraction, and I can't deny that usually it excites me. But lately he has been growing – how should I say it? – a little perverse, wanting me to do certain things that I could never force myself to do. It's bad enough having a love affair with a married man, but Phil seems to want things from me that no decent woman would do, even with her own husband. Tonight it was worse than ever.

He never even gave me time to undress, and when I protested the fact that he was ripping my clothes to shreds, he hit me across the mouth, hard, and I still have a red mark there. Then he said that he was tired of messing around and told me that a man like him needed some real action once in a while. I was so upset that I began to cry and he grabbed me by the arms and forced me down on my knees in front of him. I was shaking so badly I thought I was going to fall on my face, but I managed to get hold of myself, thinking he was only a little drunk, and I hung onto his legs while he undressed.