Holly grumbled, but Marilyn pushed me towards the door.
We ended up standing out in the Rose Garden in the cold, the whole mob of us dressed in overcoats and scarves and gloves, with two gigantic white turkeys standing there on a table. I had just given the turkeys their pardon, wishing them a long life. (That rarely lasts more than a few weeks or months longer; these birds are so big they have major health problems.) Normally this gets maybe 30 seconds on television. There are usually a few softball questions from the press. Then I was asked, "Mister President, what are you thankful for this year?"
I couldn't help myself. I simply couldn't stop. It was just too easy! "Well, I'm just like any other American father. I'm thankful my son has gotten out of the hospital, my daughters have gotten out of the house, and my wife has gotten out of jail!" As I could have expected, Charlie, Megan, and Bucky broke down in laughter, Jerry looked confused, and Holly, Molly, and Marilyn all slugged me.
We made the news that night, and got more than just 30 seconds! Will was hard pressed to spin that one, because he was laughing too hard to be taken seriously.
Marilyn calmed down Holly and Jerry. She promised to take the pair of them to a decent men's store to get some new clothes. To be fair, he didn't have a lot of money, being just an average grad student, which is sort of like indentured servitude to the college, only without the more enjoyable aspects of slavery. She told them it would be our Christmas present.
Charlie's cost of care irked me. I was rich and could take care of any deductibles or maximums, but so many people couldn't. For the average American, treatment like he was getting would bankrupt them. I contemplated starting a legislative battle to do something about the abysmal state of health insurance in the country, but shitcanned the idea immediately. There were so many problems with the whole idea! First off, the only program that actually made any sense was a nationwide extension of Mitt Romney's plan from Massachusetts. If I did that, I was directly supporting John McCain's biggest Republican rival. I was also pushing a Democratic proposal; I remembered how this had chewed Hillary Clinton up in the 1990s (and Barack Obama in the 2010s, though nobody but me knew that.) If this was going to ever get done and make it through Congress, a Republican President would need to do it! I sat John down one afternoon and tossed this out. My suggestion? Win the primary (quite probable) and win the general election (quite possible) and then do it. He would have a third term Republican Presidential mandate and a Republican House. He could name Mitt Romney as his Secretary of Health and Human Services, and develop something that just might work.
"You want me to name him to the Cabinet? After what he's been saying about me?", protested John.
"Hey, you win and it will be your Cabinet. What you do is your business. I'm just saying it would pay some benefits, and in more ways than one. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, that sort of thing."
He cocked his head to the side and smiled, to ask, "Like you did with me?"
I shrugged. "I never classified you as an enemy. More like a potential problem."
He shrugged back. "Maybe."
"Yeah, maybe. Let's face it; I was never going to go through the primaries like you guys did. Or you've been doing. George didn't even want me, other than as a bone to the moderates. When I landed in this job, I had two main rivals and I needed to handle them, and fast. There was you, who was George's only real opponent in the primaries, and Cheney, who was smarter than George and could control him, and didn't like that he couldn't control me! Dick I had to destroy. You, on the other hand, I had no real reason or ability to destroy, but I did have a chance to make you an ally. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know."
"True enough. I wasn't quite sure whether you were making that cold a calculation or not, but I could see it happening."
"It was more like I simply needed to handle things, or I would be the one being handled. You certainly had a much better reputation than I did back then, and you could have been a real pain in the ass to deal with in the Senate if you had wanted to be. Cheney was simply toxic waste and needed to be dealt with, and dealt with permanently! He would have been nothing but trouble, and would have poisoned the well for all of us in 2004.", I answered.
"And your thinking on Romney?"
"He's the only Republican with the seniority and respect to challenge you. Forget Huckabee. When the primaries are over, he goes off to become a television preacher. No, Romney will still be around, and he can make a nuisance of himself. He won't win, since the base trusts him even less than they trust you or me. Do what I did. Convert the potential challenger to an asset. Put him in the Cabinet and work his ass off. It shows the moderates you haven't forgotten them, and shows the public how you're bigger than such petty primary nonsense."
John laughed at that. "You going to pick my Vice President, too?"
"Oh, Lord! That one I am leaving to you! You really have to work with them, and you can't fire them, like you can a Cabinet Secretary. In addition, you really want somebody who can take over if need be. I know we don't always see eye to eye, John, but I feel a whole lot better knowing you are around then, say, Cheney or Romney, if Marilyn finally gets tired of me and kills me in my sleep!"
John laughed at that. "I am going to tell her you said that!"
"Please, it's a family joke by now!" I scratched my head for a moment. "You want a few ideas? How about Jeb Bush? Governor of Florida, brother to slain martyr George, son of a great President? He's out of a job but has a good name in the party. Here's another idea. What happens if Hillary ends up as the candidate? You can trump them with Condi Rice. She's a woman and she's black. Two minorities for the price of one!"
"That is so cold!", he said with a smile. "Of course the party base would never tolerate her."
"You have to watch those guys. You can't play to the base. The guy they want will never get elected. You have to do this on your terms, not theirs.", I warned. "Ever heard of Sarah Palin?"
"Who?"
"Sarah Palin. She's the new Governor of Alaska. Hard core Republican, female, young, a hunter, very conservative, damn good looking. Sounds like the perfect candidate to get the base all revved up, right?" He nodded. "I met her once, at a Governor's conference. She has the IQ of a doorknob! That doesn't really matter in Alaska, which has a total state population of a mid-sized city in the rest of the country, and where even the Democrats are conservative. You put her on national TV and she will come across as an idiot. You can pick any number of favorites from the party base, and as soon as you put them on national television, with a reporter who has actually read something other than the Bible or Guns and Ammo, they will flame out spectacularly. You really have to watch those guys!"
"I'll give this all some thought. First I have to win the primary."
I gave him a thumbs-up on that, and he took off.
After Charlie and Megan had a chance to settle in, the Pulaski family came to Washington for a visit. Megan's parents, John and Barbara, and her two college age brothers, John Jr. and Will, came at the invitation of Marilyn and me. We put the two boys in the Queen's Bedroom and Molly's old room, and John and Barbara in the Lincoln Bedroom. Unlike some of my predecessors, Marilyn and I did not abuse the privilege of having guests stay in the White House. The place is very impressive, and the Pulaskis were suitably impressed. Marilyn and I gave them a tour while they were there, including the Oval Office. (I showed them the 'Red Button' but my wife told them it was fake.) We also told them that our home in Hereford was much less fancy, and that someday they would have to visit us there, or maybe join us at Hougomont for a vacation.