‘No, Alexander. Never that, only God, always God. The priests and the nun and all their places were but the instruments of God’s Grace to us: they were not the cause of it.’
I should have been ashamed that my own faith had been so easily swayed, but I could not be, and so said nothing in my defence.
‘Anyhow, I attended the service, and was glad to see Margaret there too, and to learn that she and you had found safe quarters in the castle. I had nothing with me – not so much as a change of clothes, and certainly no bible – and so we shared Margaret’s. Despite their poverty, she and her brothers were taught to read and write, and she has always prized her bible above all things. I wish I could have loved her.’
‘That might have come,’ I said.
‘No,’ he said. ‘I will love only once.’ He breathed deep. ‘The psalms were strong that night, assured of God’s power in the face of all that might assault his people. They recalled the struggle of Israel with the Philistines, and gave much hope to the congregation, I think, for the days of danger to come. We shared her bible, Margaret and I, as the reader took us through the passages on which the minister was to preach. We followed him line for line as he intoned them for all the congregation. But as we turned the pages, I noticed that one was torn. It was in the Book of Exodus. Chapter 21 had been torn out.’
‘“Now these are the judgements which thou shalt set before them.”’
He handed me a thin, crumpled piece of paper. Had I not been able to read it, I would have known instantly by the feel of it that it was a page from a bible.
‘This was the scripture you found in her pouch?’
He nodded.
I smoothed out the paper, and my eye was drawn instantly to the words scored under in ink: ‘“if a man come presumptuously upon his neighbour, to slay him with guile; thou shalt take him from mine altar, that he may die.”’
Andrew continued where the passage had also been marked. ‘“Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.”’
‘Brother for brother,’ I said.
He looked up. ‘It does not say that in the scriptures.’
‘No, but it might well have done. She killed Sean near the altar because she thought he was one of those who had murdered her brother, and she sought to murder me because I had told her I knew what it was to lose a brother, for Sean had been mine.’
He sat down, his face drained of what little colour it had. ‘When did you tell her this, Alexander?’
‘Yesterday, in the castle kitchens. I knew she had some great hostility towards me; I wanted to build some bridge of trust, of fellowship between us, and I believed that would do it.’
He rubbed his eyes and looked to the heavens. ‘I have been a fool, such a fool.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘The very first time Margaret saw you, in her mother’s cottage – you remember?’
‘I remember.’
‘She thought for a moment you were Sean. She could not believe that I had brought him to their home. I assured her you were not, and tried to tell her he had had nothing to do with the murder of her brother. I thought I had convinced her, for she left that subject but told me I must be mistaken in you, that no two men could look so much alike who were not brothers. I laughed at her, Alexander, I was almost going to tell you, but I forgot about it soon after we left their place. And then when I heard what Stephen had told you of your mother, and Sean, and that you were his brother, I did not think of Margaret’s words but of what it meant for you. Even when I saw the torn passage in her bible, I did not realise what she was going to do.’
‘You could not have been expected to.’
‘But I should have done.’
‘Andrew, whatever else has happened between us, last night you saved my life.’
‘A moment later, and I would have been too late. I had been so certain that Murchadh had had Sean killed that I did not think to look elsewhere. I only followed Margaret last night because I was worried about her, her manner had become strange. I saw her enter the church, and thought perhaps she wished a moment’s quiet prayer. When I saw a man moving through the graveyard towards the door, I became anxious, and then when you stepped beneath the portal and I saw in the light from the door that it was you, doors began to unlock in my mind. It did not make sense that you should have an assignation, you who were so much like Sean, and she who hated him so much. Even as you walked through the door, your very walk was his. It was a moment before it came to me, a sight of something I had not seen – of Sean going through that same door on the night of his death. And then I knew. I ran through the churchyard, not caring whose bones I stood upon, and only just got to the door in time to see her lift her arm. I am sorry, Alexander. I could have stopped it if I had not been so slow.’
He was genuinely distraught that he had not prevented the attack.
‘Why did you stop her?’ I managed to say at last.
‘Alexander …’
‘Would it not have been better,’ I paused to gather my strength a little. ‘Would it not have been better to have let her kill me?’
He shook his head slowly, his face the image of incomprehension. ‘After all we had been through, even had I not been a Christian, why would I have let her kill you when I could do anything to stop it?’
‘Because you have doubted me for some time now, have you not?’
He looked away and then back at me. ‘Perhaps. Yes, I have doubted you. Since Ardclinnis; before that, even. Since they took you alone to Dun-a-Mallaght. I think that was why Sean brought you to Ireland.’
‘I think so too, but I was never for a moment tempted to take his place. This is not my world, and these are not my people.’
‘Are you certain of that?’
I had thought long and hard on this for the last few days. ‘Had I been born, raised here; had I been brought up in their faith, then yes, perhaps it would be different. But I was not; a man cannot live in two worlds; he must choose. You told me so yourself.’
‘And you have chosen?’
‘Yes, I have chosen. And I would leave here this very day, if I had the strength, but I have not yet the strength, and there is one thing I must know before I go.’
He looked at me expectantly, as if it was from him that I waited for my answer.
‘The curse,’ I said. ‘Pretext or no for bringing me over here, it was real enough, its intent real enough, and much of the harm predicted in it has come to pass. It was not Margaret who was behind it, nor Cormac. Finn O’Rahilly is dead, but his patron I believe is still alive, and I cannot leave Deirdre and Macha here until I have found that person out. I owe as much to Sean, and to the love that I bear them both, and to my nephew yet unborn.’
He laid a hand on my arm. ‘And I will be with you in that quest, Alexander. And when we have discovered who it is, and we have dealt with them, I will be here and look after those you love, long after you have returned to that other life you have chosen. But I must go to the sheriff, and tell them of Margaret, and bring these evidences to them, and then see what further orders they might have for me at the castle. Rest now, and gather your strength and your thoughts, for what it remains for us to do. Finn O’Rahilly can tell us nothing more than you already learned from him. When you are better recovered, we must plunder your mind for the answers he can no longer give.’
Andrew left me then, and left the FitzGarrett house, a servant no more.
TWENTY-EIGHT
The Curse’s Circle
‘Do not even consider walking through that door. I will have it bolted from the outside if you do not give me your word that you will stay in here.’