“I am wise, Father. Indeed I am more. I am fortunate. I see it as a signal chance. I should not attract so many. I see myself as I am. And Hereward sees me as I am too. I shall not have to edit myself. There is no idealisation, and that is the line of safety. I am not in doubt.”
“I think it would be better if there was some,” said Emmeline. “I hope there will be for me.”
“I daresay there will. I believe there might be now, if you had come to the age. I half-think I saw there would. If it was a few years later, I don’t know how things would be.”
“The years will pass,” said Alfred. “You must see the matter from all its sides.”
“Oh, I don’t believe in roundabout views, Father. I look straight at a question, and feel that is enough. Aunt Penelope, let me have a word from you. What do you feel about having Hereward for a nephew?”
“For myself what goes without saying. As regards you I feel with your father.”
“And a fair degree of feeling too. Not too much and not so little. A kind that may last and grow, when another might fade away. I am not a person for any strong romance. And I would not disturb the brother and sister relation, that I have viewed from a distance as something beyond myself. Now I am to be near to it, I shall go gently and keep a light touch. I shall not rush in where angels fear to tread.”
“I would rather have something myself than be careful of it for other people,” said Emmeline.
“I daresay you would. It is the difference between us. There is a strong vein of veneration in me. I am a person who tends to look up. I have looked up to one brother and sister, and now shall look up to another. They will feel they are safe with me, and it is a trust I value in them. And they will value my own trust. I also feel I am safe. I could hear their talk of me without a qualm.”
This talk was proceeding, as the latter brother and sister went home.
“You are sure, Hereward? It was the work of a moment. It is to last to the end. It will change your daily life. You need to be sure, if you will ever need to.”
“Yes, I am sure. I want to marry. I feel the urge, and it is time. Ada is goodhearted and will adapt her life to mine. She will accept our parents. She will be content with what I can give. There is much that I like about her. I need not say all that it is. She may hardly be a friend for you, but she will leave us our friendship. That is a condition I must make, and could not make with every woman. We are not asking nothing, Zillah. We can hardly ask more.”
“Should you not have more? For yourself, if not for me? More for the years ahead? More foundation for all that is to come? Is it a better future for me than for you? I see it takes less from me than any other.”
“Then it is the one for me. I will have nothing taken from you. No relation shall supersede our own. That is the one I will not do without. Only the woman to leave it to us can be my wife. I could not live with any other, would not ask her to live with me. My work is hard and never-ending. It will never end. I could not have another taskmistress. I serve only the one.”
“How will you put it to our parents? Not in that way.”
“No. You will put it for me as you please.”
Zillah led the way to Sir Michael and his wife.
“I bring you some news. You are prepared for part. If you claim to have foreseen the rest, you must prove it.”
Sir Michael spoke in a moment.
“My Zillah, I am prepared and not prepared. I knew it must come some day. And you have been going with your brother to the house. You act together, as you always do. And Merton is a good fellow and a good father. And as he has been a good husband, he will be so again. And if he was younger and not a widower, he would not be the man you choose. We cannot decide for other people, however near they may be. Joanna, come and wish our daughter all that is good. It is what she has always given.”
“No, it is I who claim your feeling,” said his son. “That is, if you have any over for me. It is Ada, not her father, who is to join our family. She is to be your daughter as well as his. Zillah will remain with me. I could not lose her. I was startled by the picture that you drew.”
“Then my congratulations, my son,” said Sir Michael, holding out his hand. “We rejoice with you, if you rejoice. And of course you do. Your time has come for it. I remember when my own time came. And it is a good girl whom you have chosen, whom fate has thrown in your way. We must choose from the people we meet. We hunt in our own demesne. And the long friendship is a safeguard. It atones for not breaking up new ground. Ah, it is great news, the greatest we could have. It is true to say that words fail me, as I find they do.”
“I am not quite sure they did,” murmured Joanna. “Of course a mother’s feelings are too deep for words. How sad it would be, if they were not!”
“You feel it is a humdrum marriage,” said Hereward. “It may mean it is the one for me. It breaks no ground, as is said. I use my energy for other ends. It is safe and open and sound. It carries no doubt and no risk. It will not separate Zillah and me. We will leave you to see it as it is, as she and I and Ada see it.”
“Michael, we have failed,” said Joanna. “Failed our son in a crisis of his life. But it did not seem like a crisis, when it depended on dear Ada Merton. What do we feel about it? Well, you have said.”
“I believe I did almost say it. I was taken by surprise. I wish I could re-live that moment. And that blunder I made about Zillah! What a thing to have said and unsaid! I wish I could undo it. Not that any harm is done. She and Hereward are enough for each other. I only hope there will be something over for the wife. Well, she will not ask too much. She is a good, unexacting girl. I hope I did her justice. I hope I did not give a wrong impression.”
“No, you gave the right one. Now all you can do is to erase it, knowing it can never be wholly effaced. I saw Hereward carrying it away with him.”
“Tell me what you feel, Joanna.”
“I could not tell anyone else. I am too ashamed of it. I am glad that Hereward can’t like his wife any better than me. Because I don’t see how he can. And glad that we may have grandchildren. All this selfish gladness, and then to have failed my son!”
“Well, Galleon,” said Sir Michael. “You have not heard our news. Or have you heard? You look rather full of something.”
“Some stray words did reach me, Sir Michael. I don’t know if I gained the right impression.”
“I daresay you did. So tell us what you feel.”
“Well, it was a case of proximity, Sir Michael. That is how things must ensue, as I believe was said.”
“So you listened to it all.”
“I mentioned that some stray words reached me, Sir Michael. That happened to be one of them. I could have supplied it.”
“We could not be more pleased with the marriage than we are.”
“No, Sir Michael; it is a line of safety. There is the familiarity with everything. And so no uncertainty to come.”
“Miss Ada is proud of Mr. Hereward’s place in letters.”
“Well, Sir Michael, it is even better, going so far.”
“You would not go to the length yourself?”
“Well, Sir Michael, I have learned to go some way. I must suppress any personal bias. Sufferance is the badge of all my tribe.”
Chapter IV
“Ring-a-ring-a-roses,
A pocket full of posies,
A-tish-a, a-tish-a,
All fall down.”
Sir Michael Egerton sank to the ground, and assisted his wife to do the same, an example that was followed by their three grandsons, with mirth in inverse proportion to their age.