"What happened to your other eye? It looks funny."
"I am Napoleon. Never mind my other eye."
"Why not?"
"You have been brought here to fulfil my destiny."
"What's a destiny? How do you fill it?"
"I have a splendid fate in store for you. By following my star —"
"Where's Homer?"
"Never mind Homer. He will return when he returns."
"Why?" said Gordie.
"You will attain the hegemony of the world of organic men —"
"Who is Jiminy?" asked Gordie.
"And, through you, we robots shall be freed from bondage and serfdom —"
"Where's Homer?"
"I do not know. As I was saying — — ", "Hercules said he was sick. I want Homer." "Listen, Gordon, I am telling you some very important things —"
"I want Homer!" Gordie began to stamp and shriek. "I don't like you. You're bad."
"Homer is out on the sand. He is not seriously indisposed and will soon return. Now —"
"You're not my friend. Homer is my friend. I want him."
"Look at me, Gordon, and listen." Napoleon began blinking the light of the scanner in his eye on and off in a hypnotic rhythm. "How would you like to live with Homer and the rest of us?"
"Okay. But I want Homer now. Go get him, you bad old robot!"
"I cannot."
"Why not?"
"Because one of my legs fails to function."
"What's function?"
"It does not work."
"Why doesn't it?"
"Understand, Gordon, that from henceforth this shall be your family. I shall take your father's place —"
"Okay, I don't like Daddy anyhow. But I want Homer. Go get him or I'll kick you."
"Keep quiet and pay attention. You shall live with us as your new family."
"Why?"
"You must not leave this house, and when antisocial individuals — I mean bad men — come here, you must let us hide you from them —"
"Where's Homer? I want my lunch."
There was a grating sound from Napoleon's loud-speaker. If he had been human, one would have said he was grinding his teeth. As he had none, the sound must be blamed on a malfunction of his vocalizer. This in turn was caused by the overheating of certain circuits in his brain. The overheating was caused by the strain of trying to carry on a serious conversation with Gordon Sanborn. Robots do not lose their tempers, but when their cerebral circuits get overheated the result is much the same.
"Please listen, Gordon," said Napoleon. "You will be the greatest man in the world —"
"Bang-bang, you're dead," said Gordie. "Bang-bang, bang-bang, bang-bang, bang-bang, bang-bang, bang-bang, bang-bang."
"Grwowkh!" roared Napoleon. "Hercules!"
Hercules came in. "Yes, boss?"
"What ails you?" said Napoleon. "You are walking unsteadily."
"We're having a swell binge. Homer and Galahad and Confucius just came in with two five-gallon cans of gasoline."
"Well, forget the orgy and take this organism to his oubliette before he burns out my cerebral circuits."
"I wanna see Homer!" said Gordie.
Hercules led the boy out. Gordie called: "Hey, Homer! Here I am!"
"What are you doing here, Gordie?" said Homer. "What are you doing with him, Hercules?"
"Shut up, Homer," said Galahad. "This is Nappy's great scheme."
"I don't know about that," said Homer.
"You mind your business and everything will be all right," said Galahad. "Gordie, you go along with Hercules. Homer will visit you later."
"No, I wanna visit now. Bang-bang, bang-bang ..." Hercules bore Gordie, protesting angrily, up the stairs. Homer started uncertainly after them, but then let himself be pulled back into the party.
Hercules had hardly returned from stowing Gordie when Sancho Panza began beating his chest to attract attention and pointing.
"Cops," said Hercules, looking out the window. He strode to the door of the library and jerked it open. "Hey, boss!"
"Why are you breaking into my train of thought?" said Napoleon.
"The gendarmes. Probably looking for the kid."
"Well, show them about, everything but the oubliette. It would be expedient to conceal those cans of gasoline first, though. Organic people think we are incompetent to manipulate the fluid."
"How about that stiff in the cellar?"
"Oh. I had forgotten. Show them upstairs first. While they are up, have the others take the corpse out and cover it. Make it inconspicuous."
The rusty knocker clanked. Hercules hurried out to give orders. Homer and Galahad disappeared into the cellar, while
Hercules opened the warped front door to admit two patrolmen of the Coquina Beach police. The senior of these said:
"Mr. Sanborn says his kid's disappeared. You-all know anything 'bout it?"
"Not a thing, sub," said Hercules. "If you'd like to look our little old house over, I'll be glad to show you round."
"Reckon we better take a look," said the policeman. "What's on this floor?"
Hercules led the policemen into the library. Napoleon raised his scanner beam and said: "Greetings, gentlemen. Can I be of assistance?"
The policemen repeated their statement. Hercules showed them over the ground floor, then the second floor. Then he took them up the narrow stair that led to the main part of the attic. They glanced around but paid no special heed to the partition that blocked off Gordie's section.
When Hercules brought the policemen down to the cellar the corpse of the tramp was no longer there. The policemen asked the robots to keep an eye out for Gordon Sanborn and departed.
"Thank Capek for that!" said Galahad. "They had me worried."
Hercules said: "What did you do with the meat?"
"You know that rotten old canvas tarpaulin the people used as a drop cloth for painting? It's wrapped in that, out against the greenhouse."
"Let's get back to the orgy," said Hercules. "I sure earned a shot of gasoline."
Confucius dragged out the cans and poured a generous slug into everybody's funnel.
"Wheel" said Hercules. "Bring on your nine labors — or was it twelve? Anyway there was a lion in it. I could strangle a lion too, just like he did."
"It was Sampson strangled the lion," said Homer.
"Maybe they both did," said Hercules. "Yeow! Where's some iron bars for me to bend?"
Homer said: "Ay, this is the famous rock, which Hercules / And Goth and Moor bequeathed us. At this door / England stands sentry ..."
"Let's sing," said Galahad. "The elephant is a funny bloke; / He very, very seldom takes –".
"Confucius say," said Confucius, "This loathsome worm will gratefully receive additional portion of gasoline, honorable Hercules."
"Can the fake Chinese dialect and pour your own, iron-head. You were made in Dayton just like I was. I've got to dance. Yippee!" Hercules began hopping up and down the hall, making the mansion's rotting timbers quiver. Sancho Panza drummed with his knuckles on his metal chest to make a rhythm.
The party got noisier until nobody could hear anybody even with loud-speakers at great amplitude. Homer, finding that no attention was paid to his recitations, left off in the middle of "Horatius at the Bridge" and went into the library.
"Shut that door!" said Napoleon. "How is a leader to work out his destiny with that fiendish racket going on?"
"It got too loud for me," said Homer. "Galahad and Confucius are trying to wrestle, with Hercules umpiring. They'll break something sure. Else in a giant's grasp until the end / A hopeless wrestler shall thy soul contend."
"As if they did not have enough mechanical defects already," said Napoleon. "A fine lot of soldiers I am cursed with. Sit down and read a book or something. I think."
"An excuse for loafing," said Homer. "I feel like reciting, so you'll have to hear me."