She liked to tell him he was her surprise; something she didn’t know she wanted until she got it, but he knew he was a mistake. Christ, his mom was younger than him when he was born, and he definitely wasn’t ready for a kid of his own.
The fact was Matt knew he had it good. Tucker was a goofball, but he was fair and loved his mom. Brooklyn and Dallas were the best. It’d been lonely growing up without any siblings, so he was glad they had each other. Sometimes he just got tired of acting like he was a part of everything. I don’t even need to be here. I could be home playing Call of Duty and no one would even notice.
Picking up Dallas, Matt jogged up to the rest of the family. Giggles burst from the toddler with each jostling step, sounding like shrieks bouncing off the dense trees. She grabbed his face, squishing his cheeks forward painfully, and he scrunched his lips together, blowing a raspberry on her arm, making her laugh even harder.
“Here. Walk with Mommy for a minute.” He handed her over to Jenn, who unwrapped herself from Tucker’s side. Dallas immediately reached for him.
“I want Bubby. I go you.” “I’ll be right back.” He hated seeing the tears welling in her eyes, but he had to walk away for a minute, take a deep breath.
“Where are you going?” Jenn’s eyebrows knit together.
“Gotta take a piss.” Matt turned to step off the path and head a few feet into the forest. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Just don’t get lost. I think we’re going to find someplace to eat lunch in a couple of minutes, then we’re going to plant our tree. I don’t want to walk too far with the girls.” Jenn looked down at Brooklyn, who held the sapling up. A grin cut her face in two, revealing pink gums with white stabbing through where her big teeth were coming in. The tree leaned to one side, lacking the energy to stand up straight anymore.
Matt rolled his eyes.
“I’m taking a piss. I’m not hiking into the wilderness. Be right back.”
“I need to piss, too,” Brooklyn said. “Where’s the potty?”
Jenn sighed loudly, putting Dallas on her feet and reaching for Brooklyn’s hand. Even though her back was to him, Matt could tell she was irritated by the set of her shoulders. Tucker looked at him, his lips pulled in a tight line, freezing the smile that had started to spread across Matt’s face.
“You could have chosen your words more carefully. Your sisters look up to you.”
“Sorry.”
Matt ducked into the woods before Tucker had a chance to say anything more. Green leaves formed a wall between him and his family, giving him a curtain of privacy. Closing his eyes, he rolled his head around on his neck, trying to release some of the annoyance building from being on Tucker’s stupid outing. He shook his head. Tucker tried to do what was best, but sometimes Matt wondered if he had any idea how ridiculous it all seemed.
Brooklyn and Dallas are having fun. The thought popped into his head, seemingly from nowhere, and he knew it was true.
“Fuck.” Matt kicked at a tree trunk, knocking bark to the ground. He stomped a few more feet into the forest. Looking back towards the path, he couldn’t see or hear his family, so he figured they hadn’t heard him drop the F-bomb. Tucker would love that. Pulling a cigarette from his pocket, he leaned against a tree, sliding down until he sat on the ground, and smoked. His dad had been non-existent, nowhere to be found. That didn’t mean Tucker was an ass.
He jabbed a knuckle into his stinging eye, rubbing at it viciously. There was no way in hell he was going to cry over a deadbeat fucker.
Shit.
He should be happy for Brooklyn and Dallas. They had a dad who loved them, who cared. Fact was Tucker cared about him, too, even though blood didn’t bind them. It was just hard knowing somewhere out there was someone who didn’t give a shit. Someone who could just walk away.
“Ow!” A searing pain ripped through Matt’s leg from his ankle to his knee, burning through his muscles, causing them to spasm. He smacked at it, jerking up his pant leg to reveal a twisted ant seizing in death and an angry welt running up his calf. Brushing the bug off, he looked at the ground, searching for an anthill or a marching army coming to swarm him. He didn’t see anything.
He stood, flicking his half smoked cigarette to the ground and then snuffing it out with his foot. Turning back towards the path, he kept his gaze downward, wondering where the ant had come from. He searched the trunk of the tree he’d been leaning against as he passed it. Do ants make nests in trees?
Whumpf!
Matt crashed to the ground, his ankle twisting like the ant’s body. Blood poured from his nose and his chest tightened. He tried sucking in a deep breath, but earth clogged his mouth and he choked, coughing up soil slimy with saliva.
“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” It hurt to breath, to move, but he kept muttering under his breath. Slowly, he sat up. His ankle had already swollen to the size of a grapefruit and didn’t look like it was slowing. The skin was pulled tight and purple. Next to it was a perfect loop of tree root shooting straight out of the ground that he’d snagged his foot on. The soil was loosened all around and under it. How had he missed that? Using the tree trunk for leverage, Matt pulled himself up. Gently, he tested his ankle. It hurt like a bitch, but he didn’t think it was broken. Wiping his bloody nose on his sleeve, he limped towards the path.
Ten minutes later he found his family sitting in a half circle at the base of a tree. Tucker looked up as he hobbled towards them. His sharp intake of breath made Jenn look up from the yogurt she was feeding Dallas.
“Matt, what happened to you?” She hurried toward him, bending his head back so she could check his nose.
“I tripped. I’m fine.” The blood had congealed into a thick crust over his upper lip, cracking with each word.
Jenn shook her head, like she couldn’t believe her son could be so clumsy. She gripped his elbow, leading him to the picnic, letting out a loud sigh as she helped him sit on the ground.
“Your ankle looks pretty bad. You sure you’re okay?” Tucker asked. He was sitting on a low rock beside Brooklyn, half a peanut butter sandwich gripped in one hand.
“Yeah. It’s just twisted, not broken. I tripped over a stupid root.”
“You’re lucky. What would we have done if you’d broken it?” Jenn wiped her hands on her pants before sitting back down.
“I guess we would have had to call for help. I don’t know, Mom. I didn’t fall on purpose.” He grabbed a bag of chips and a juice pouch out of his mom’s bag, putting his head down to end the conversation. Why did she sound so irritated? If one of the girls had fallen she’d be all over them, kissing them to make the booboo go away.
Out of the corner of his eye, Matt saw Tucker shake his head, then turn towards Brooklyn.
“So, Brookie, why are we out here today?”
“’Cause it’s Earth Day.” She grinned, knowing she’d answered her dad’s question correctly.
“Yes, but what are we doing?”