“This is the Door that leads to alternate Earths,” I said. “All the different histories, all the ways the Earth might have gone. Can it really open onto any possible Earth, Doormouse?”
“Oh yes. You just have to enter the right co-ordinates. Of course, many of the more extreme iterations are completely uninhabitable, but ... What kind of Earth did you have in mind?”
“A completely empty Earth,” I said. “An Earth where sentient life never did develop, in any form. A living breathing Earth, where only the beasts and the birds flourished.”
“Of course,” said King Arthur. “I see where you’re going. An excellent solution for a very tricky problem.”
The Doormouse produced an impressively large book from somewhere about his person and flipped rapidly through the pages with his furry paws, muttering querulously to himself. He finally stopped at one particular page, ran a fuzzy finger down a long list of entries, then squeaked happily. He made the book disappear and advanced on the Door, muttering a bunch of numbers under his breath, before spinning the brass combination lock back and forth with practiced dexterity, then flinging the Door open with a triumphant flourish.
Beyond the Door, endless grasslands stretched away under a perfect blue sky, with no sign of civilisation or cultivation anywhere. A gentle breeze wafted through the Door, smelling of every sunny day we ever dreamed of. I could hear birds singing, and the far-away sounds of animals on the move. But otherwise, it was a very quiet, very peaceful world. We all crowded together, peering through the open Door.
“So peaceful,” said King Arthur. “Like Eden itself, before the Fall, untouched by human hand.”
“What better place for the elves?” I said. “What better place for a new start?”
“If they’ll take it,” said Suzie. “They don’t think like we do or value the things we do. They’re not human.”
“They want the Earth,” said Arthur. “And this is an Earth. Only without all those irritating humans to get in the way. They’ll take it.”
“But if they don’t?” said Kae.
Arthur looked suddenly tired. “You heard Merlin. If the elves cannot be made to see sense ... then raise the Armies of Man and lead them against the elves, until one or other of us is gone forever. I would prefer to avoid that if I can.”
“But would the elves prefer to avoid it?” said Kae. “There is a part of them that has always loved war.”
“They love survival more,” Arthur said shortly.
He gestured sharply to the Doormouse, who quickly shut the Door and spun the brass lock. He looked at King Arthur.
“I can’t recall anyone ever wanting to visit that Earth before. Calm and quiet and peaceful aren’t the kind of things people usually look for in the Nightside.”
“Their loss,” said Arthur. “Understand me, Sir Mouse; no-one is to have access to this Door until I return. Is that clear?”
The Doormouse bobbed his head in a perfect frenzy of agreement. “Of course, Your Majesty, of course. I’ll put an OUT OF ORDER sign on it. Shall we now proceed to the Castle Inconnu Door? We’re almost there, and the other large armoured gentleman is growling at me.”
“Don’t scare the mouse, Kae,” said Arthur. “That’s my job.”
We finally came to the Door, and the Doormouse opened it. Kae led the way through because it was his castle, after all. We appeared in a fairly unremarkable side corridor, with no-one round, and the Door slammed shut behind us and disappeared. Kae growled something under his breath, then led us quickly to the nearest communication point. Which turned out to be a simple office, filled with computers. Arthur was fascinated with all the technology and bumbled around, having a good look and touching things he shouldn’t, while Kae put out a general alert, ordering everyone to appear in the Main Hall, right then, no exceptions. Sir Roland appeared, on the run, and stuck his head through the door. His eyebrows practically jumped off his head when Kae introduced him to King Arthur, and he was down on both armoured knees in a moment, bowing his head to the returned King.
“Up, up, my good friend,” Arthur said easily. “You are my knights, sworn to serve my cause and my dream. I should kneel to you, for keeping it alive all these centuries.”
Sir Roland clambered quickly to his feet again and glared at Kae. “Would it have killed you to have given us a little advance warning? We could have prepared a proper welcome!”
“Such things can wait,” said Arthur. “The elves have brought war to the Nightside, and we are going to ride forth and teach them a lesson in manners. Lead the way to the Main Hall, Sir Roland. I would have words with the London Knights.”
Sir Roland bobbed his head quickly in a way that reminded me irresistibly of the Doormouse, and led us all to the Main Hall of Castle Inconnu. He was clearly bursting with questions he wanted to put to King Arthur, but Kae kept him busy with questions about the readiness of the knights to go to battle at such short notice. Sir Roland was still answering questions when we got to the hall. Suzie and I brought up the rear. I was starting to feel left out, as though having delivered Excalibur, my part in the story was over. It was Arthur’s story now, and Suzie and I were bit players. Except, the story wasn’t over yet, and I didn’t think Arthur was going to find things as easy as he thought. He was going to fight elves in the Nightside; and neither the elves nor the Nightside was anything like what he remembered of them.
Arthur might have dreamed England’s history; but the Nightside has always been outside history.
When we finally hurried into the Main Hall, it seemed like everyone in the Castle was already there, waiting for us. The knights in their armour, arrayed in solid shining ranks, along with all the other people who made the castle run, and their families. Because no-one wanted to miss this. The Main Hall was packed from wall to wall, with women and small children peering in through the open doorways because there wasn’t room for them. When King Arthur stepped up onto the empty platform at the end of the hall, a great roar went up from everyone. They cheered and shouted, they slammed their hands together and stamped their feet on the floor, all of them grinning so hard it must have hurt their faces. The King had returned, something they had dreamed of all their lives but never really believed would happen in their lifetimes. The knights drew their swords and thrust them into the air, again and again. And still the cheering went on, as though it would never stop.
King Arthur stood at the front of the platform, looking out over the crowd, nodding in approval at the ranks of armoured knights. Kae stood at his side, smiling proudly at his brother, gesturing for quiet so the King could speak. Suzie and I stood at the back. This wasn’t our moment.
“Want me to fire my shotgun into the ceiling?” Suzie said innocently into my ear. “That should quiet them down.”
“Better not,” I said. “It might be misinterpreted.”
King Arthur thrust one hand up, and immediately all the sound stopped as though someone had thrown a switch. The whole hall fell silent, to hear what he had to say. King Arthur lowered his hand and nodded solemnly.
“It’s good to be back,” he said. “But I’m not here to bask in your adulation. Later, maybe. For now, there is work to be done. An army of elves has gone to war against Humanity, in the Nightside, indulging in their love of brigandry and slaughter. This cannot be allowed. They must be stopped. I ride out. Who rides with me?”
Everyone there roared approval and agreement, and the knights thrust their swords into the air again. No-one questioned him. He was King Arthur, and they were his. And as simply as that, the London Knights went to war.