I hadn’t heard about that. No, it’s something else. I can’t talk about it.
You recall that you signed an echemythia agreement?
I agreed to be silent about—
Our recipes ingredients White Room Pythagorean Papers soul tracing aptitude tests meditation scripts algorithms policies and punishments.
Punishments?
You signed the agreement. Keep it and you’ll have nothing to worry about.
Right, Leonard said. I won’t tell anyone.
We know about your true-ray blocker.
Goodbye, sir.
Don’t you come crawling back! We hate traitors!
For the second time that night, the doorbell rang. It was Carol and Felix.
I saw the shades were up. You okay?
I quit my job.
Good, Carol said. You can watch Felix. Don’t worry if I don’t come back straightaway. I’m going to a book-club convention.
She was wearing her climbing suit and dust cap and was carrying not her usual clutchbag but a six-gallon grabbag over her shoulders.
Go on, Felix. Uncle Leonard will take care of you.
She pushed her son forward but he clung to the ridges of her climbing suit.
Don’t go, Mommy! Please don’t go!
Big boy, Felix. Clootie dumplings and head cheese in the freezer, lucre in the peanut-butter jam square jar.
She pecked Felix’s cheek and, before he could grab her waist, slid down the garage chute and cycled off on her Roadster.
Come on, Felix, Leonard said. I have something amazing to show you: the White Room isn’t white anymore!
Really? Felix sniffed. Can I wear my lumberjack suit in there?
Yup.
And my peaked cap?
You can wear anything you like.
Wow, Felix said, trying to take that in.
We can de-white the walls, Leonard said. I think we should do that right now, don’t you?
Can’t go back there
While Felix was changing, Leonard thought about what Isaac had said. Go to the University Library. That’s all. The rest will happen and you will know what to do.
What do you mean? Leonard had said.
Go to the University Library, Isaac said. The rest will happen and you will know what to do.
Oh, Leonard said. Will I meet her there?
Really! Mebbe you can trust me just a little?
How will I know it’s her?
You mean, will she give you refreshment from a well?
Isaac was being sarcastic. Leonard decided not to ask.
I haven’t left the house in three years.
I know, Isaac said. And tomorrow you will.
I’m a little scared, Leonard said.
Bring Felix.
He has school, Leonard said.
No he doesn’t.
Then he was gone.
When Felix arrived back at the no-longer-white room, Leonard could see he’d opted for his rainbow suit and shiny slippers.
Good choice, Leonard said.
Felix beamed.
You having a problem with school? Leonard asked.
Mom’s taken me out. I have to be underground-schooled with other kids in her book group. No more brainwashing. That was before she got the call on her red pocket phone and went off. My teacher said, Raise an ignoramus for all I care. So Mom called her an imperialist tool. I don’t think I could go back even if I wanted to, which I don’t.
Not to worry, Leonard said. I’ll take you to the University Library tomorrow. You’ll learn a lot there, we both will.
But as they commenced to drawing on the walls of the no-longer-white room, Leonard couldn’t help but wonder what.
PART TWO THE BRAZEN HEAD
The caravan
The next morning, Felix was up bright and early, while Leonard was still on night-shift time. The boy was wearing a little fur jacket and white pants on which he’d embroidered images of his heroes — mostly people Leonard didn’t know, but Leonard was also there, on Felix’s knee. Bleary still, Leonard made some cinnamon buns, put jujuberries in a chokebag for later, and left some mealie pudding next to the cat-chimney for Medusa. Then he consulted the Brazen Head about library hours and caravan routes. To humor Felix, Leonard had the Brazen Head fart his reply. He then gathered coins from the peanut-butter jam square jar and was about to usher Felix out the door when Felix said, You’re wearing that?
It was only what Leonard usually wore — green army pants and a roomy silverscan overshirt — but Felix seemed to think a trip to the University Library demanded something special, so they went to Leonard’s closet and chose a flowered climbing suit Leonard had never worn and a long gabardine coat that had once belonged to his grandfather. Thus attired, they made their way.
It had been three years since Leonard had left the house, not counting the Time between Here and There. There were no scripts to follow, no Probable Scenarios, no saying he wouldn’t get dumped onto the municipal compost heap, or the adult equivalent, whatever that was. Aside from clients-in-pain, the Chipmunk Patrol, and the occasional screen-yak, Leonard had spoken with no one outside his family since the day he’d made himself a White Room. Until Milione. And Isaac.
When the caravan arrived, Leonard helped Felix up the ladder onto the back. Felix was fine, but Leonard was shaking. So many strangers! But the passengers hardly noticed their arrival. A man in a straw hat was talking soothingly to some chickens in a mesh bag, another was playing backgammon against himself and grumbling when he lost, a family was sitting on black carryall bags, looking dejected. Two teenage girls occupied most of the floor space, lying down with pillows and gossiping about a boy named Jet. Along the sides were posters introducing the Leader’s new Chipmunk Patroclass="underline" a group of smiling policemen who promised to make every neighborhood clean and optimally safe.
You sure this is the right caravan? Leonard whispered to Felix after he’d negotiated seats amid some businessmen in shark suits on a bench that ran along the side. Felix consulted his fart printout, then, to be safe, consulted the Brazen Head on the navigation watch Carol had given Leonard for his birthday.
Yup, Felix said.
The caravan jerked to a stop and from below someone shouted, Suburban Shopping Mall! The two girls quickly stood, gathered their pillows, and climbed down the ladder. The man with the chickens got off at the City Slaughterhouse. Three men in shark suits got off at the Business District. All the while, Leonard kept his eyes shut and firmly squeezed Felix’s hand. Finally they heard the University stop called, and Leonard helped Felix down the ladder and paid the driver some lucre. The driver insisted that they owed him more, because of the new security tax.
Leonard consulted the Brazen Head on his navigation watch, which called the driver a bloody liar. The man blushed and said, Have a nice day!
The sun was bright in Leonard’s eyes — he hadn’t thought to bring a diffuser. Felix, who was apparently thinking more clearly, attached his to the visor of his peaked cap, then took Leonard’s hand.
Fun, huh? Felix said.
Leonard leaned over a holly bush and vomited.
The University Walking Grounds
Thousands walked the University Walking Grounds, many of them from foreign lands, or so their attire suggested. As Felix and Leonard followed the signs to the University Library, they saw Survivalists wearing camouflage and offering samples of dried chipmunk; Heraclitan Grill flamethrowers in their characteristic fireproof togs; also, royal pages from the monarchists’ Food Court, barbecuties from the Whiggery Piggery, even a few Dadaists (the latter didn’t have a food chain, as the Dada Dinner Diner had famously failed for want of a menu). Neo-Maoists, recognizable by their black climbing suits, were the favorite targets of proselytizing pizza greeters: Can I interest you in a Neetsa Pizza? Leonard heard a well-groomed boy with a clipboard ask a neo-Maoist girl. How about some Pythagorean literature? There’s more to the world than materialism and class struggle! he shouted as she rushed away.