Chapter 3
Thirty five reps. Not too shabby. I could probably push it to forty, but since I still had 5k to run on the treadmill, I decided to stick at the thirty five mark every day for a week. I got up and wiped my brow on a towel. Ralph was cycling. He said he could get away with only cycling because his body remembered gravity where mine was really just learning. He was eating snacks while doing it, so I wonder just how much good it did him. He was also watching programs from Earth on his holocom. Yeah, he was very serious about the exercise.
I got on the treadmill and punched in the setting the doctors want me on. Ralph laughed at something on the holo and caught me rolling my eyes at him.
"You know, you'd do good to watch some of this."
"Thanks. Pass."
"No better way to get the feel of a society than to watch what they consider entertainment."
I had tried, several times in fact. I just didn't understand the hype. All these television programs, as they call them even though "televisions" have been outdated for years upon years now, are pointless. They are filled with things I don't understand and don't care to figure out. I told it to Ralph weeks ago and he brushed it off.
"Trust me. Watch and you'll get hooked."
I didn't want to get hooked. The more I found out about Earth life, the less I wanted to know. Take television programs. Why? I understand that there are many kinds. I can see the value in the ones that teach. I understand that the government happenings are broadcast for everyone to watch, and I think that's good. Lets people know what's happening. But what about all the others? Why do cartoons exist?
"To keep kids busy," said Ralph.
"But why?"
"You're trying to read too much into it, kid. It's entertainment. A diversion from real life."
"But why?"
He had waved his hand at me in annoyance. "Bah. You're too Qitan."
He meant it as an insult. He said it before when I asked questions he didn't have the answers to. I never took it as an insult.
I plodded on my treadmill. At this point, it had been seven weeks since I'd started the daily grind on these conditioning machines and I thought I was doing pretty well. I hadn't used the walker for a month, even on the days when my muscles were beat and threatened to quit. The doctors said that had more to do with my lungs than anything else, that they were finally working "under load".
Lena started bringing me things from Earth to study. Ralph made it clear one day when we were in the showers after a work out that she is the only one I'm to speak to about, well, anything. Me. My life. Our travels. He always has talks like that in the showers. He said I'll understand later, and just to follow his lead and trust him. So we talk in the showers.
Anyway, Lena brought me all kinds of things to look at. I liked the books and papers she tapped into my holocom a lot better than the television programs. I got into an argument with her one day over one of the fashion "zines" she uploaded. I looked through and found a picture that got me worked up, then ended up having to wait all through the night before I could grill her about it.
"So Ashnahta being green is a problem, but this guy here who's blue is normal? Hm?"
She was following the bot in who was brining in our breakfast and had her vital check halfway off her belt. The question caught her off guard. "What?"
"Here." I jumped off my bed and thrust the holocom at her. "Explain that!"
She glanced at the picture. "That's Honree DuPree," she said, as if that explained anything.
"And he's blue."
"So?" She waved a hand. "He's a designer, Jake. He's supposed to be eccentric."
"But you laugh at Asnahta for being green."
Ralph laughed around the breakfast he was already shoving into his mouth. "He's got you there, Lena."
Lena put her hand on my arm and actually looked sorry. "Jake. I didn't mean to offend your friend. You know what? You're right. I guess I never thought about it before."
I accepted her apology. Sort of. She was trying to help me after all, which was more than anyone else in Utopia.
Actually, once I thought about it, aside from the never ending revolving doctors who didn't even give so much as a name before they leave and never return, Lena was the only one we had any contact with. I saw people. Not on our ward, but outside. Out the windows. Through the foot of our glass looking into the foot thick of their glass in different hallways, different buildings. I saw "cars", as Lena called them even though they were clearly personal transports. "They've always been called that," she said when I pointed it out. I saw people all over. Hundreds. The place was big enough for thousands. But we never saw any of them.
"Ralph?"
He was still engrossed in his snacks and shows. His feet barely moved on the pedals of his cycle and he only grunted in response.
"Why can't we talk to anyone?"
"Uhn." Crunch of snacks, giggle at the show.
"I mean it. Why doesn't anyone ever come in here?"
"What?" He pushed the stop button on his holo. "What are you going on about?"
"No one ever sees us. Why not?" I was starting to get out of breath.
"They will. When you're ready." He clicked the holo back on and made a show of pretending to exercise again.
Oh. When I was ready. "What does that mean?"
"It means when you're ready. More work out, less chit chat."
I kicked it up a gear and thought about that. When I'm ready. When will I be ready? How many more kilometers did I have to run on machines? Or weights did I have to lift? Why wasn't it enough already? "When will I be ready?"
"For god's sake, I don't know. I don't make the rules. Now do your run and let me be."
After my shower, I went back into my room and sat by the window, just as I had done for seven weeks straight. I'm not prone to being bored. Maybe it was all the time on the small ship. Maybe it taught me early on to entertain myself. I usually spent the time between showering and eating looking at the holocom info from Lena for the day. Or looking out the window and mentally mapping the visible planets and stars, as Stephan had taught me. Or looking at the structures of the buildings I could see in the red rocks of outside Mars, seeing what I could figure out about the tribe from the external clues, as Dad taught me. Or just letting my mind wander like I taught myself.
But this time, I got bored. I couldn't focus on anything. For the first time in my life, a room seemed too small. I got up and walked to the door and placed my hand on the reader lock as Lena did every day, as Ralph did when we went to exercise. It blinked the red "denied" sign.
"Ralph." He was laying with his eyes closed and his arm over his face, quietly humming a little song. "Ralph, come put your hand on this lock."
"Hm?"
"This lock won't open for me. Come put your hand on it."
"Why?"
"Because I want to go for a walk."
He gave a little laugh. "Sorry. No can do, kiddo."
"Why not?"
"Because it's not in our schedule."
That got me angry. "So what? I want to walk around."
"Can't."
"But..."
He sighed heavily and looked out from under his arm. "Let it go, kid. Lena will be in soon and you can talk to her for awhile."
"I don't want to talk to Lena. I want to go for a walk." It was an idle thought before, but once I had been told I couldn't, getting out of the room became a mission.
Ralph pushed himself up. "Look, Jake. I know it's not fun. But right now, we've got to play along, okay?"
Well that went and pushed me over the edge. "Play along?" I screamed. "Like I haven't been playing along! I got in that suit and I made that jump, didn't I? I went through the pain and agony of catching back up and leaving everything in my life behind. I've spent the last two months working myself to the bone, and all of it to 'play along'! I think I earned a damn walk!"
I never exploded like that. Something in me just snapped. Ralph was stunned. He sat there blinking at me.