"If I act out it's only on me, eh?"
"And StarTech will not even acknowledge that you exist should you get busted," Reginald confirmed. "We can't risk ourselves on a loose cannon. If you are our guest, and you break the basic onus of common hospitality, we'll wash our hands of you and deposit you on Earth or Luna, your choice. If you plan on acting up."
I had to bite back a smile on that. They knew I would. They knew I'd shoot my mouth off or do the wrong thing at the wrong time. I bet that employment contract they talked about was filled with rules and clauses for every situation. It would be worse to be merely a guest, to have it hanging over my head that any number of things could happen and I'd unknowingly break a trust I don't understand. "Is that my only choice, then?"
"No. The third option is to break free from StarTech. To use our network and your own money to obtain a ship and crew and strike out on your own."
I studied him carefully for any signs of a joke. There were none. He was dead serious. "But the governments..."
"The rules apply to StarTech, Jake. If you are a rogue entity..." he spread his hands apart and shrugged, letting the rest hang in the air.
I was gripped with a sudden excitement.
"You have to think long and hard, kiddo," said Ralph. "You do this, there probably really is no coming back."
I turned to him. "Would you come with me?"
"No."
It wasn't a betrayal. There was no anger, no sadness in his voice. He wouldn't hold it against me if I left, and he knew I wouldn't hold it against him if he stayed. "I'd be going to Cogen, wouldn't I?"
Reginald shrugged. "That's up to you. If it was my money, I'd take the beautiful sure bet. Worst case is that you resupply and move on. Or maybe, since we're sending out a hundred or so of the new Condor X series explorers, maybe you'll just happen upon some info from them and change course. Who knows what the future would bring?"
"But I wouldn't be working for StarTech."
"Not for us, no." He gave me a look. "I do not believe a certain Alistair works for StarTech, either. That doesn't mean he doesn't sometimes find himself the recipient of a little gift from us. You do not have to work for us to work with us. We are one company to represent an entire race, a whole tribe as you say. Why is there not room for more than one?"
I sat back. It was almost overwhelming. I turned to Ralph...my friend, my uncle, my...almost my father. "I thought you wanted to go back up there. I thought you wanted to explore Cogen."
He laughed. "I though so too, kid. I really did. But goddamned if it didn't feel good to be back home. There's something about having a home world. Being on a home world." He nodded to Ashnahta. "Ask her. Feel it in her. There's a longing that you can't explain. Maybe you go to Cogen. Maybe you step foot on it and breathe the air and it speaks to you. And maybe it doesn't, so you go on. You have a home world, Jake. In a universe as wide and vast as this one is, you've got a place out there somewhere. You'll never find it sitting around here gathering dust."
I felt like crying and laughing all at once.
"I take it by your reaction that the third option is to your liking," Christophe said.
"What about everyone? What about...how would I..." I ran a shaking hand through my hair. "I don't even know where to start!"
Christophe gave a chuckle. "Then it's a good thing indeed that you happen to be surrounded by people who do."
"Are you sure, Jake?" asked Reginald. "It's a huge responsibility. You'll be responsible for lives."
Just like Mother. Just like Dad. "I think...no...I know I could handle that part."
"You'll be stuck in a can again. You missed your family, and that makes you gloss over some things. Remember how bad it got sometimes when the jumps had everyone on edge and ready to tear each others' throats out?" Ralph was trying to make sure I really remembered what it was really like.
I had to smile. "Yes. And I remember how awful it is to clean the filters and what a chore it is to constantly reprogram the life support and how terrifying it feels when a main thruster goes on the fritz and sends us into circles. I remember it all. It's the only place I am comfortable. It's my life. It's what I know."
"And are you sure it's what you both want?" He tipped his head toward Ashnahta.
I turned to her. She was looking at me with those huge blue eyes and waiting for my answer.
Should we go live on the rocks then? I silently asked.
Until we find something we like better.
It's very boring traveling that far.
Then we should take some entertainment.
And it gets old eating the same food over and over and over. I was trying to make sure she understood what she was signing up for.
I do not really like your human food anyway, so it does not matter.
There will probably be people you dislike all around us.
There are now.
And you will not be able to challenge any of them.
Have I challenged anyone here?
And you may even be forced to like them.
That will never happen.
Are you sure you want to do this?
"Jacob?" asked Christophe. "Is that what you want?"
Answer your primary, Jake.
I squeezed her hand quickly and had to smile. "Yes," I said firmly.
So just like that, my life changed once again. And I when Ashnahta and I entered our own ship three months later to embark on our new, grand adventure, I knew exactly how I felt about it.
It was fantastic.
About the author:
Beth Reason was lucky enough to be born into a weird household. Now that she's a mother, she does her best to teach that life to the next generation. She has lots of hobbies because she's horribly annoying to be around when she's bored, and her goal in life is to know everything.
Seriously.
Everything.
When not writing or making something or wrangling kids or her husband, she can usually be found online, trolling the internet for insight to all the wonderfully odd personalities in the world. She can be found on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/authorbeth.reason
She also welcomes emails at: authorBethReason@yahoo.com