After the meal we were stuffed. I'd never been so full of food in all my life, not even when Ashnahta and I raided the great kitchen and got sick on too many q'al fruits.
"What's an aristocrat?" I asked, remembering what Reginald said earlier.
"Technically? An archaic, outdated term relating to noble born individuals," said Christophe, wiping his fingers one by one on the fancy napkins. That cleared nothing up. I looked to Ralph.
"Kings and queens, and all the royals under them."
"But I'm not an aristocrat."
"That's just the technical definition. We use the term loosely to sum up a type of individual." It didn't sound very flattering.
"Like me?"
Reginald laughed. He was starting to look very sleepy and I wondered if he would actually nod off right at the table. "Yes, kid. Like you. Like me. Like Christophe here, even, though he wasn't born into it."
"I don't understand."
"Look at the facts, Jakey," said Ralph. It occurred to me later that he had several drinks that night himself. "You're the son of two beloved figures in history."
"They aren't history."
"They are to Earth."
Point. "But they aren't kings or queens."
"Of course not. No one is anymore," said Christophe. "Our royalty is fame. And you'd be hard pressed to find anyone more famous than the Cosworths." I didn't believe him. Mother and Dad were just science geeks, nothing more. "Don't believe me?" Christophe sounded amused. "Currently there are no less than three thousand buildings named after your family."
I laughed at the sheer ridiculousness. "Why would anyone name a building?"
"In honor of the person that built it."
"My parents built buildings?"
"Their money did."
I had heard tidbits already here and there about the money of my family. I had been assured by Jillian I could afford whatever I pleased. I didn't use money. I never had. It was all pretty much gone over my head. "Oh. I, uh, didn't know that. Is that a lot, then?"
Reginald blinked sleepily at me. Ralph just sat staring. And Christophe tipped his head and really studied me for a moment before speaking. "Have you no concept of your homeworld at all?" It was one of those questions you aren't supposed to answer. But I did anyway.
"It is not my homeworld."
"Yes, it is."
"No!" I didn't want to get angry, spoil the night. "No," I repeated calmly. I was no longer really a child, as Ralph constantly told me. I had to act like an adult. Besides, I had the feeling that Christophe would understand, that he could understand. It was that almost inspeaking connection with him, and I decided to trust what I felt. "I understand what you want me to feel. And I know that when I'm down there, that's what they want me to feel."
"Do you understand that?"
"Yes," I said firmly. "Lynette's been pounding it into my head all week. I get it. And I understand how important it will be. But everyone at this table knows the score. I was not born on the Earth. The closest thing I have to a homeworld is a titanium can in some other galaxy."
Reginald snorted. "Hundreds of billions of dollars and he calls it a can."
"A nice can," I amended. "You keep wanting me to have this connection to a planet I've only sort of heard about, a life I don't understand."
"Lynette should be..."
"She's not the problem! I am. You said there are anomalies in my medic reports. My whole life is an anomaly! I don't understand Earth. I have been jamming my head full of things that to me are just...just..."
"Silly?"
He understood! My instincts were right. I actually felt a rush of relief. Someone finally got it! "Yes. Or if not silly...just not...important. How can I care what happens on one ball in a galaxy that isn't even mine?"
"Jake. Don't start sounding ungrateful," Ralph began.
"No," Christophe cut in. "He's right, Ralph. And we need to know where he stands. Continue." He was using the all business voice, but it was in the eyes again, sympathy, empathy...something that told me to trust him.
"Why does it matter who is a movie star? Do you think they've ever heard of those movies on Laak'sa? Or even presidents. Or governments. Do you realize how inconsequential all the fighting among the governments is in the grand scheme?"
"Here here!" Reginald raised his glass.
"Why do they think it matters? None of it does! Their priorities are all wrong. And I'm sorry, Ralph. I know it's your world and you have always missed it. And maybe I would feel the same if I was from there. But I'm not. I'm from worlds, not just one world. And I know what they do not."
"And what is that?"
"That they are selfish. That they think they are the 'be all and end all' of civilization. They are afraid of other tribes? What makes them worth taking over? Nothing. Nothing I've seen, nothing anyone else would see, either. They conceited and petty and small."
"And that's how you really feel?"
"Part of me." I had to be honest.
Christophe gave a little shrug. "And I can't tell you you're wrong. I wouldn't work for StarTech if I didn't think we, as humans, need a little perspective. Your accusations are completely correct. As an outsider you have been able to come in and see what very few others are able to."
Ralph was stunned by Christophe's words. He sat with his mouth open. Reginald was nodding off for real, now, and just gave a small snort.
"Tell me, Jake. What makes you bond with the Qitani?"
It seemed so unrelated that it threw me for a loop. "I, uh... I don't know."
"Was it just a product of being the first civilization you met?"
"They weren't. There was the Ehkin."
"Ah. And yet, you didn't bond with them."
"I did!" I protested. "I had Little Blob. He was my friend."
Christophe gave a little nod. "Fair enough. But you cannot tell me your bond with him was anything like what you and Ashnahta shared."
I wanted to be done with the conversation. I did not want to talk about Ashnahta. I did not want her brought into a discussion on humanity. It felt so wrong, like a betrayal. But I had to be honest. He knew the truth anyway. "No, it wasn't."
"And why is that? Is it because in her you found more similarities than you did with the Ehkin?"
That was shallow. That was Mother. That was an impossibility. I wasn't like that. I didn't think like that.
"Don't get angry," he soothed. "This is a scientific discussion. Sociology, on a scale we've never been able to discuss."
"I can't help getting angry. You're sitting there saying my friendship with Little Blob wasn't real."
"No. I'm saying it wasn't as deep."
I had to laugh. "I was what? Eleven? Of course it wasn't as deep! I spent four years growing up with Ashnahta." I had him on that one. I know it to my core, even though he didn't concede the point. "Where are you going with this? We were talking about Earth."
"No. We were talking about the bonding, the pull of one person to another. I was simply exploring that link between species, since you say humans are so self absorbed."
"And you agreed with me!"
He gave a small smile. "I did. I was just seeing how far your own bonds went. Now I have a fairly good idea. You'd die to protect Laak'sa if it was invaded, wouldn't you?"
"Of course I would."
"And v-2445?"
"More, since they wouldn't even be able to fight for themselves."
"But you wouldn't for Earth."
I had no response. No, I wouldn't fight for Earth. Not then. But I would have sounded like a real jerk if I said it out loud.
"See, you've been out exploring worlds your entire life, as you say. And you claim to have this deep love and respect for all tribes. And yet, you don't. You'd save them and not us."
"There's no galactic threat. It's not even an issue. Besides, humanity is more advanced." The thought didn't really sit right. It felt as if I was putting down the other tribes. "The other tribes, they haven't gone out yet. Humanity has..." my voice trailed off.
"Has what? An advantage?" He scoffed. "You said yourself that the Qitani and Ehkin, two different species living on two different planets, were in communications with each other. Every citizen of Qitan knows about the Ehkin and accepts them as legitimate members of the universe, and vice versa. They've got the upper hand completely! We, we're all alone. We've got no back up. We don't even have a knowledge that there could be allies out there, only the fear of an enemy."