"She can breathe ours," I grumbled.
"For short bursts. A fish can't live in the air, and a bird can't live in the sea."
Ha! I had him on that. "Wrong. Mud skippers and penguins."
"What?"
"A fish that can live on land and a bird that can live at sea." I felt very smug for that.
"That's what HuTA's been wasting time teaching you?" He shook his head. "And like usual, you didn't pay attention. A mud skipper can live on land for short bursts, and a penguin still has to return to land to lay eggs."
"But they adapted."
"On the same planet."
I give him my best glare, the one I reserve for Mother when she's said something particularly offensive about Little Blob or Ashnahta. But Dad would not back down.
"Your mother may be wrong about the morality of classifications of people. You are a person. The Qitani are people. Ehkins are people...we're all people. That's what the Qitani consider important. It's a spiritual definition. Your mother is right, however, about the scientific classification. There are differences in these species. Great, huge differences. And if you're blind to that science, on the one hand I commend you. But on the other, you're a fool."
Dad had never spoken to me like that before. I had a niggling thought that I should be mad, but really I was just confused. Was I wrong about him the whole time? Was he really just like Mother and I never caught on? "But she's my friend, Dad. And you aren't even letting me say good bye." I hate that it came out sounding like something a little kid would say.
"You have to trust that it's better this way." Ralph waddled into the jump seat next to me, and I didn't have a chance to talk to Dad alone again. Dad clipped a link from my suit to Ralph's.
It was almost time. I swallowed hard at the sudden weight that filled me.
Ralph's like an uncle to me. That's how Dad put it. They were close in school on Earth and when the mission came about, Ralph was right there with them. He used to help take care of me when I was a baby. I like Ralph. But sitting there, I was suddenly wishing it was Dad making the jump with me, no matter how angry I was at him for some things.
"You miss Earth. Come with me."
Dad turned around and motioned for me to stand. "I can't. You know that. I'll never leave Eunice. We're a pair, the two of us."
"And I'm just in the way." It was unfair for me to say it, and I regret it now. In the moment, I was beyond mad. I was scared, if you want to know the truth. And in the blink of an eye was going to lose everything I'd ever had for family, friends, a world. And for what? Oh I was angry then. Angry and hurt.
"Please don't be angry, Jake."
Xavier's voice came through my suit. "Sleepy sleepy little one. Bon voyage." There was a hiss and Dad's face got very dark in front of me.
Chapter 2
I hated to admit Dad was right, but I felt like hell. I felt like I was broken up in pieces and not all here. It's a pain I've never felt before, stretching, pulling, feeling like I'm breaking, and yet knowing full well I'm not.
"It's just the psychological effects, Kiddo," Ralph kept telling me. "It's not real. The trick is to make your mind up that it's not real." He didn't seem to be suffering at all.
We were on the Mars base with the idiotic name of Utopia. I was in agony. It couldn't possibly be "Utopia".
"It's also the gravity."
"I've been in gravity before," I snapped at Ralph. He was so damn calm. Sitting there, on the edge of the bed, munching a snack while I writhed in pain. I wished Dad jumped with me.
"You've been in some gravity. All the world's you've been on have less than Earth."
"So?"
"So, it's going to take awhile. Even here's less. We'll be here a few weeks. Get you up and walking around and used to a more normal weight. As soon as you stop snapping my head off, we can start the conditioning training in the gym."
"Sorry," I muttered through the pain. I didn't mean to snap at Ralph. I like Ralph a lot. It's not his fault he's used to this.
He waved a hand like it was nothing. "Just start thinking of it like this. Your brain only thinks you're spread all out, because in your mind, you should be. In your mind, you got yanked from one place and stretched out instantly to the other...snap! Just like a piece of gum."
"What's gum?"
"A rubber band, then."
I still didn't know what he's talking about, but I didn't bother to ask. The pain was much worse when he made me focus on it.
"But your brain only thinks that's what happened because it's not designed to comprehend its own molecular make up."
"Ralph," I warned him.
"Fine. No science lectures. I'll nutshell it for you. We've been traveling. We went a meter, our brains went the meter, our bodies went the meter, and then we did it again and again. We made it in one piece. We were never stretched or broken apart. There is no particle of Jake left in another galaxy. It just didn't happen that way, no matter what the brain thinks."
It was helping. His calm, reasonable voice was doing far more than any of the nurses or doctors who seemed genuinely baffled could do. I can't blame them for their confusion. We were the first jumpers they've tried to treat and while Ralph insisted StarTech filled them in on the protocol Mother had forwarded in advance of our arrival, I guess it's different when you're actually in the middle of things trying to figure out why some kid is screaming.
"How long did it take?"
"For us? Or for them? That's the question your brain is having trouble with."
"Why isn't yours?"
"Because I'm far better at science than you, Jake. I get it. I understand. Heck, I've spent my whole thinking life working through these quantum problems! And I know from HuTA that you fast forward many of your lessons." He gave a little laugh. "Can't hide anything from a 'bot, kid. I've given so much thought to this kind of travel that it just makes sense. My brain isn't confused."
"Helps you did it before," I said, trying to shift the way I was thinking and make my own brain convinced I was all there.
"True. But even the first time it wasn't much for me. Your mother, now...that's a different story. Of course, she was pregnant with you. That probably made it worse."
"I never felt this way on the ship," I protested, putting his theory to the test.
"Of course not! Why would you? See, to you, the ship was your world. You never really traveled, because your world, the one you knew, always went with you." He crumpled the bag he had been eating out of and tossed it on a table near the bed. Almost instantly a small bot appeared and cleared the wrapper, then cleaned the spot it had been on and disappeared. "You see that? We didn't have those on the ship. Not our world, and your brain knows it."
"I've been to surfaces of planets..."
"And to you it was like making a day trip. An hour hop, a nice little tour, and back home. This is the first time you've completely jumped, the first time you've left your home and gone bazillions of miles away."
I had to smile. "I don't remember HuTA saying anything about bazillions."
He grinned at me. "It's a scientific term. You wouldn't understand."
I was starting to feel a little better. His explanation actually made sense. I doubt I can ever really explain it to someone else. But something in my brain latched on to the idea, nodded, and started to get on with life. "Have you talked to Dad?"
"Yep. He knows we made it. Was very relieved." I made a noise. "None of that, you hear me? Your father was right to send you home and I won't have any attitude about it. It's done. And you've got a whole lot to learn about being a human if you're going to be good for anyone." He was angry. I think it was the first time Ralph's ever been angry at me. He got up and walked across the room. "I'm taking a shower. When I'm done, you're getting up off that bed and taking one, too." He slammed the door.