The piers closest to where they departed the trolley were dominated by long, Wooden buildings housing shops and restaurants. The one to which John Ross took Nest was painted yellow with red letters that identified it as Pier 56. They navigated the noonday" crowd strolling the walkways out front and pushed through the doors of a glassed–in entryway beneath a sign that announced they were guests of Elliott's Oyster House. The entryway was stuffy and hot. A hostess greeted them and led them to a booth near the back of the dining area, further out on the pier toward the water. Nest seated herself across from Ross and looked out at the view. The sun shone brightly through scattered clouds, and the sky was azure and depthless. In the distance, beyond the bay and the sound, the peaks of the Olympics gleamed whitely against the horizon.
The waitress brought them water and menus and asked if they were ready to order. Nest glanced at the menu, then at Ross, arching one eyebrow. `Two bowls of chowder, two orders of the fish and chips, and two iced teas; he told the waitress, and she picked up the menus and left.
Nest looked out the window again. `This is a wonderful city,' she told him.
`People who visit when it's not raining always say that,' he advised, shrugging.
`I guess I'm lucky to be here now'
`Stay a few more days, and you can see what it's like the rest of the time:
She looked out at the tour boats, which were anchored right next to where they were sitting. A small crowd of tourists was boarding one of two tied up in the docking slips. filing through the interior and out onto the upper and lower decks. They were bundled up against the chill, and they all carried cameras at the ready". Nest thought she would like to be going out with them. She would like to look back at the city from the water, see if the view was as spectacular from that direction. Maybe she would do so later,
`Sa you like your new life," she said to him, looking for a place to start.
He nodded slowly. °I like what I do at Fresh Start. I like Simon Lawrence and the others who work for him. I've met someone I'm very much in love with, and who is Very much in love with me–something I thought would never happen. Yes, I like my life. I'm happy'
'Stefanie is beautiful' she said.
`She is. But she's more than that. A lot mare. She saved me when I thought there wasn't anything left worth saving. After San Sobel'
Nest wondered suddenly if he ever thought about Josie Jackson. Early on, not long after he left, Josie had asked Nest if she had heard from him; from the way she asked, Nest had known that there had been something between them. But that was a long time ago. He probably didn't think of Jasie at all these days. Maybe sloe had stopped thinking about him, too. `What happened at San Sobel must have been awful' she said.
It was, but it's over: He looked up as the waitress reappeared with their iced teas. When she left again, he took a careful sip of his, and then said, 'Why did the Lady send you to find me, Nest?'
Nest shook her head doubtfully. `To talk with you. To tell you something you probably already know. I'm not sure' She looked away from him, out over the water. `The truth is, I came because I don't want to hear later that something bad has happened to you and find myself wishing I'd tried to prevent it'
He grinned cautiously. 'What is it you think might happen?'
She sighed. `Let me start at the beginning, all right? Let me tell it my way, maybe work up to the part about what might happen. I'm not really sure about any of this myself. Maybe you can fill in the gaps for me. Maybe you can even persuade me I came here for no better reason than to see you again. That would be all right.'
She told him then about Ariel's appearance in the park two days earlier, the tatterdemalionis purpose in coming as a messenger, and the Lady's request that Nest come to Seattle to find him in the hope he might heed her warning that his life was in peril.
Nest paused. `So I gather you've already been told that you're in same kind of danger.'
He seemed to consider the statement, to weigh it in a way she didn't understand. Then he nodded. I've been told. I don't know that any warning is necessary.'
She shrugged. I don't know that it is, either. But here I am, delivering the message anyway. I guess you don't have any concerns about it, huh?'
He smiled unexpectedly. `Nest, let me tell you what happened at San Sobel!
And he did so, retelling the story from his perspective, recounting it carefully and thoroughly, obviously trying to make her understand how terrible it was for him, to help her see why he had been unable to continue as a Knight of the Word. She listened attentively, for he kept his voice low and his words shielded from the people eating around them, pausing once when he came to the aftermath of the killings to gather his thoughts so that he could relate clearly what the experience had done to his psyche, pausing a second time when the bowls of clam chowder arrived and the waitress was standing over them.
At the conclusion of his tale, he told her something he had never been able to tell anyone. He told her how dose to suicide he had been when he realized the fault might be his. He had managed to get past that, but only by determining he could never revisit that place in his mind, could never again put himself in a position where he might have to hold himself responsible for people dying.
Nest let him finish, then shook her head doubtfully. 'If you do nothing, people die anyway, John. What would have happened to me if you hadn't come to Hopewell? 'I don't know that you can say any of it is your fault'
`It feels like it is. That's enough.' He looked down at the soup cooling before him. He hadn't eaten a bite. `I don't mean to argue with you on this, but you can't know what it's like if you're not me. You don't have to live with the dreams. You don't have to live with the responsibility for what happens if they come true' He shook his head. `It's a special kind of hell'
`I know' she said. `I wouldn't even try to put myself in your shoes. I wouldn't presume'
She finished her soup. All the bad feelings she had experienced at Fresh Start had evaporated. and she found herself hungrier than expected.
'I drifted afterward, looking for something to do, some place to be, a reason for being alive' Ross began to eat a little. `Then I found Stef, and everything changed. She gave me back what I had lost at San Sobel. Or maybe last even before that. She made me feel good about something again. So here we are, working at Fresh Start with the Wizard of Oz, and doing something important. I don't want to go back to what I was. Let's face it; I can't go back. How could I? It would change everything.'
He shrugged. 'I don't know what to tell you about being in danger, Nest. I don't feel as if I'm in any danger. I'm not part of that life anymore. I don't have any connection to what I was or did. I don't even dream anymore–or hardly ever, anyway. It's all in the past'
The fish and chips arrived, and they paused while the waitress set down their plates, asked if there was anything else she could get them, and walked away. Nest picked up a piece of deep–fried halibut and bit into it. `Mmmmnm, this is wonderful,' she said.
`Told you: He picked up a piece of his own fish and began eating.
Ariel said the Lady thinks the Void will try to subvert you, whether or not you think you're still involved in its battle with the Word' Nest studied his face. `She says you can't stop being a Knight of the Word. She says you can't quit unless the Ward allows it'
He nodded soberly. 'I've heard it all before. I don't thank T believe it. What have I been doing for the past year if she's right? Haven't I quit, if I haven't served: What else do I have to do? 'Write a letter of resignation? I don't dream, I don't use the magic, I don't go out looking for demons. I'm done with all of it'