'I know, I know. It was a long time ago, and her mother is dead. She told us before you came back.' Stef brushed back her dark hair and crossed her long legs. 'It must have been quite a shock to see her again.'
`Well, it was a surprise, any–way. But the had a nice talk:
He had never told Stef anything, about his past or the people in it, save for stories about his boyhood when he was growing up in Ohio. He had never told her about his service as a Knight of the Word, about the Lady or Owain Glyndwr or O'olish Amaneh. She did not know about his dreams. She did not know of the war between the Word and the Void or the part he had played in it. She did mot know of his magic. As far as he knew, she had no concept of the feeders. Having Nest Freemark appear unexpectedly, come out of a past he had so carefully concealed from her, was unnerving, He did not want to tell her about any of that. He traced his present life to the moment he had met her, and everything that went before to another life entirely.
Stef studied his face. `Simon says she's some kind of world class runner. That she might even win a gold medal in the next Olympics. That's pretty impressive'
He nodded noncommittally. `I gather she's pretty good'
`Is she in town for very long? Did you think to ask her to have dinner with us?'
He took a deep breath, wishing she would stop talking about it. `I mentioned dinner, but she said she might have other plans. She said she would call later. I don't think she's here for very long. Maybe only a day or so.
Stef looked at him. `You seem uneasy about this, John. Is everything all right? This girl hasn't announced that she's your love child or something, has she?"
The words shocked Ross so that he started visibly. Five years earlier Nest had indeed thought he was her father, had wished it were so. He had wished it were so, too.
He laughed quickly to mask his, discomfort. `No, she didn't came here to tell me that. Or anything; Like that.' He pushed back in his chair, feeling trapped. `I guess I'm just a little nervous about the speech. I haven't heard back from Simon on it. Maybe it wasn't so goad'
Stef smirked. `The speech was fine. He told me so himself'. Her smile brightened the whole room. 'As a matter of fact, he loved it. He'll tell you himself where he sees you again, if the two of you are ever in the office at the sometime. He's gone again just now. There's a lot of preparation left for tomorrow night.'
He nodded. `I suppose so." He fidgeted with his peas and paper, gathering his thoughts. 'You know, I don't feel so well. I think I'm going to go back to the apartment and lie down for a while. You think they can get along without me for an hour or so''
She reached across and took his hand in her own. `I think they can get along just fine. It's me I'm not sure about'
'Then came back with me'
`I thought you were sick..'
`I'll get better'
She smirked. 'I'll bet. Well, You're out of luck. I have work to do. I'll see you later.' She frowned. "Or maybe not. 1 just remembered, I'm supposed to go with Simon to the KIR0 interview, then maybe to some press things after that. He hasn't given me the final word yet. Sorry, sweetie, but duty calls. Ring me if you hear from Nest, okay? I'll try to break free to join you'
She smiled and went out the door, blowing him a kiss. He stared after her without moving, then pushed the pens and paper away and got to his feet. Might as well follow through on his plan and get out of there, he decided. He was already back to thinking about something else Nest had said - that a demon in Pioneer Square was killing homeless people in the underground city. No one would miss them; no one would know. Except the feeders, of course. And he didn't see the feeders much anymore, so he couldn't tell if their current behaviour reflected the demon's presence or not.
He stared down at his desk, unseeing. Sometimes he was tempted to try out his magic, just for a minute, just to see if hr still had the use of it. If he did that, he might see the feeders clearly and maybe be able to determine if there was a demon in their midst.
But he refused to do than He had sworn an oath that he wouldn't, because using magic was integral to acting as a Knight of the Word, and he had given all that up.
He walked out of his office, down the hall, past Della and a duster of new arrivals huddled about her desk, and through the front door. The midday sunshine was fading, masked by heavy clouds blown in from the west on a sharp wind. The air had turned cold and brittle, and the light was autumn grey and pale. He glanced skyward. A storm was moving in. There would be rain by tonight.
His thoughts drifted.
A demon in Pioneer Square.
Someone sent to kill him.
Someone sent to subvert him.
The Word and the Void at play.
He crossed the street and moved past Waterfall Park toward the doorway to his apartment building. The waterfall tumbled down aver the massive rocks and filled the walled enclosure with white noise. The park was empty, the afternoon shadows falling long and dark over the tables and chairs, benches and planters, and fountains. He didn't like how the emptiness made him feel. He didn't care for the thoughts it provoked. It seemed to reflect something inside.
In the shadows pooled among the boulders of the waterfall, something moved. The movement was quick and furtive, but unmistakable. Feeders. He paused to look more closely, to spy them out, but he could not do so. Those days were gone. He was someone different now. Something rough–edged brushed up against his memory-a reluctance, a wistfulness, a regret. The past had a way of creeping into the present, and his attempts at separating the two were still difficult. Even now. Even here.
Why had Nest Freemark been sent to him?
For just a moment he experienced an almost overpowering urge to flee. Just pack his bags, pick up Stefanie, and catch the first bus out of town. He stood facing into the park, and the movement in the shadows seemed to be reaching for him. He felt trapped in his life and by his decisions, and he could feel his control over things slipping away.
Then the moment passed. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, and he was all right again. He studied the shadows and saw nothing. The park was still and empty. He felt foolish and slightly embarrassed. He supposed he was not yet entirely free of the emotional fallout of San Sobel. He guessed that's what it was.
That was what he told himself as he turned away from the park and went down the sidewalk. That was how he dismissed the matter.
But deep inside, where hunches and instinct kept separate counsel, he wasn't really sure.
CHAPTER 15
After Two Bears disappeared. Nest Freemark sat back down on the bench they had shared and stared out at the bay. Her thoughts kept returning to five years ago when she had first met him. She kept trying to reconcile what she remembered from then with what she knew from now. She kept trying to make the parts fit.
I fought in Vietnam. I walked and slept with death; I knew her as I would
a lover. I was young before, but afterward I was very old. I died in the Nam so many times, I lost count. But I killed a lot of men, too.
He had told her that right after he had told her his name. He had told her he was a killer. But nothing else he had told her had made him seem so. There had been no hint of violence about him. He had gone out of his way to dispel her concerns.
I am a stranger, a big man, a combat veteran who speaks of terrifying things.
You should be afraid. But we are friends, Nest. Our friendship was sealed with our handshake. I will not hurt you.
But he might hurt John Ross. He might have to, because that was what he had been sent to do. She pondered the idea, thinking that in some strange way they had all changed places from five years ago. John Ross was on trial instead of her, and Two Bears might become his executioner. Ross now stood in her shoes, and Two Bears stood in his.