‘Close to the end of this draft.’
‘And how many more lie ahead?’
‘One? Maybe two at most?’
‘And then I’ll get to read it?’
‘Not till it’s published, sorry.’
You scowled. I knew you didn’t like that I refused to share my work with you in advance, but I had explained why many times. I respected your opinion, of course I did, but I loved you too and I didn’t want a novel to come between us. If you thought it was awful, after all, you might not tell me. And if you thought it was good, then I might find your praise insincere.
‘So how long?’ you asked. ‘Before you turn it in, I mean?’
‘Four or five months, I’d say.’
‘Well, I won’t push you on it,’ you said, standing up and coming over, raising my chin with your index finger and kissing me gently on the lips but holding the kiss for a long time, so long that I felt the need to pull away before you suffocated me.
A few days later, during class, there was a tap on the door, and when it opened I was surprised to see my brother-in-law Robert standing there with an apologetic smile on his face. The students turned to look at him, displeased by the interruption, and for some reason I found myself blushing.
‘Sorry, Edith,’ he said. ‘Am I disturbing you?’
‘Well, we’re in the middle of class.’
‘Could I just have a quick word?’
I stepped out into the corridor, feeling a little flustered as I closed the door behind me. ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked. ‘Is it Rebecca? The boys?’
‘No, no,’ he said quickly. ‘No, it’s nothing like that. Everyone’s fine. I just needed to speak to you, that’s all.’
I stared at him, feeling a mixture of pity and irritation. ‘Well, I can’t right now,’ I told him, nodding back in the direction of the workshop. ‘We’ve only just started.’
‘That’s all right, I can wait.’
I nodded and gave him directions to the graduate students’ bar, saying that I’d meet him there at five, and later, when I arrived, I was glad to see that he’d chosen a table in the corner where we could talk quietly.
‘So, how are you, anyway?’ I asked.
‘Miserable. And you?’
‘Tolerable.’
‘And Maurice?’
‘He’s fine. He’s been incredibly supportive of me coming here. I couldn’t have done this without his help, to be honest.’
‘That doesn’t surprise me,’ said Robert. ‘I’ve always envied you the—’
‘The what?’ I asked, uncertain how that sentence was going to end.
‘Well, the love that you share. It’s obvious to everyone how good you are together.’
I felt incredibly touched by this remark and, to my surprise, felt tears form behind my eyes.
‘I assume you’re here to talk about Rebecca,’ I said, looking up again at last.
‘Yes. Have you talked to her lately?’
‘Not much,’ I admitted. ‘I went over to see her shortly before we left for Norwich but I haven’t heard from her since then.’
‘So you’ve met Arjan, then?’
‘Well, he was there,’ I said. ‘So, yes.’
‘What did you think?’
I glanced across the room to the tables where my students were drinking and laughing and, as much as I loved Robert, I longed to be in their company, talking about writing, rather than sitting here, caught up in a family drama.
‘He seems friendly enough,’ I said. ‘It does feel a bit soon for her to be shacked up with someone else, of course, but he was quite pleasant, I thought. I’m sorry, I know you probably want me to say something else but—’
‘Actually, no,’ he said, interrupting me.
‘No?’
‘No, he’s living with my two boys so of course I’d prefer if he was a good guy. I’ve met him myself, you know. I wanted to hate him but couldn’t. Rebecca will grow bored of him in time, though.’
‘I think so too,’ I said. ‘Look, do you want me to be honest? Arjan is… well, he’s fit, isn’t he? And young. But he’s too nice. Either she’ll get tired of him or he’ll get sick of her bullying and walk away. I suspect that beneath the kind façade there’s a strong backbone, and anyone who gets caught up with my sister would need one of those.’
‘You don’t think that I have a backbone?’
‘That’s not what I said.’
‘It’s what you implied.’
I put my glass down and reached out to take his hand. As I did so, I noticed my angry Polish student Maja glancing over at me. She knew that Robert wasn’t my husband, of course, and perhaps she was wondering why I was touching him.
‘I’m not your enemy, Robert,’ I said quietly.
‘No, I know. I’m sorry.’
‘So look, why don’t you tell me why you came to see me?’
‘To ask a favour.’
‘All right.’
‘I want you to talk to Rebecca for me.’
I closed my eyes for a moment. I’d hoped that wasn’t what he was going to say. ‘Do I have to?’ I asked.
‘I need you to. She won’t take my calls any more.’
‘Well, what do you want me to say to her?’
‘You could start by asking her why she won’t take my calls any more.’
‘And after that?’
‘I hadn’t thought that far ahead.’
‘Oh great,’ I said. ‘Thanks.’
‘I think we need an intermediary of some sort.’
‘Perhaps. But do you really think I’m the best person for the job? She hates me.’
‘She doesn’t hate you.’
‘Oh, come on.’
‘She may not be your biggest fan, but—’
‘She told me that she thought my novel was shit. I believe her actual phrase was a work of blush-making vulgarity. The words are emblazoned on my memory.’
‘She’s jealous of your success, that’s all.’
‘Good, I’m glad.’
‘You should take it as a compliment.’
‘Well, I don’t.’
‘Edith, please. She won’t let me see the boys.’
‘Well, that’s not fair,’ I admitted. ‘But shouldn’t you just speak to a solicitor? Wouldn’t that be easier? Find out what your rights are?’
‘I don’t want to go down that road just yet,’ he said. ‘The moment we start getting legal is the moment that things get completely out of hand. I want to appeal to her better nature.’
‘Ah, you see, that’s where you’re making your mistake.’
‘I just think if someone could tell her how important it is to me to be a good father, how important it is for me to be a positive influence on the boys, then she might behave a bit more—’
‘Like a human being?’
‘Yes, I suppose so.’
I sighed. It was obvious that Rebecca was treating Robert appallingly. I was going to say as much but that’s when the door to the grad bar opened and you walked in.
You glanced around, your gaze settling on the students, and you scanned the group, expecting to see me among their number. Only when you looked around the rest of the room did you notice the two of us together and you raised an eyebrow in surprise before walking over.
‘Robert,’ you said, throwing an arm around him. ‘This is a surprise.’
‘Yes, I called in on Edith’s class unexpectedly. Things have been a bit rotten at home, as you know. I thought I could do with a little advice.’
You nodded and asked what we were drinking before making your way to the bar. I could sense in the way you carried yourself that you weren’t happy, and I immediately felt uncomfortable, unable now to concentrate on what Robert was saying. I looked in your direction but you had your back to me. Our eyes met in the mirror behind the bar, however, and there was something in your expression that made me feel guilty, as if I’d let you down in some way.