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“But that would be an insult…”

He spoke in a low, quiet, knowing voice. A pusher or a pimp? Well, that wasn’t my lookout. I went back to the phone and opened the thick, tattered directory that was attached by a heavy chain to the wall. Its back pages were tom or missing. The letter S was gone entirely. I let it drop, the chain creaking loudly, took out a cigarette, and fumbled for a match. At once he stepped up to me, whipped out a small lighter, and lit it for me with a bluish flame.

“Are you looking for something? Perhaps I can be of help.”

“No, thanks. The phone book is tom.”

“If it’s a girl…”

“Excuse me?”

“I said if it’s a girl…”

“No. It isn’t a girl.”

“Because I have another one for you. She’s waiting for you there. She’s taken a liking to you.”

He pointed to the two whores restlessly swinging their bags.

“No, thank you.”

“She asked me to tell you… it’s just that she’s bashful…”

“Thanks anyway.” I smiled. He talked about the two of them as though they were one person.

“If you think she’s too tall for you… or too strong… if that’s it… then there are other options…”

He spoke quickly, deftly, in a reasonable, businesslike tone.

“It’s not a question of that. At the moment I’m…”

“Because I have others too. Just tell me what you’re looking for… explain your wish to me… I’ve got a big selection around here. I know a sweet, very classy young girl who lives right next door… you might like her… she’s practically still a child… she may even still be a virgin… yes, I believe she is… real class…”

He laid a warm, friendly hand on my shoulder. I gave a start.

“There was something I liked about you as soon as I saw you walk into the station. You only have to say the word to me. Just tell me what you want. Everything is available. Why don’t you have a quiet cup of coffee and see what I have to show you?…Where did you say you were going?…The buses run late, I know because I’m always here. And if you miss the last one, I’ll bring you home in my own car. Come on… you only have to look… let me show you what real service is. There’s something about you I like. Don’t be scared… it’s all aboveboard… no obligation, no money down… I just show you the goods, it doesn’t cost you a cent…”

He was quiet, reassuring, trustable. And I was out of time, out of place, plain out of it. Let her wait up for me. She’s probably gone to sleep at her parents’ anyway.

“At least you’ll join me for some coffee?”

“But I’ll pay for it.” The words tumbled out by themselves.

He smiled, highly satisfied.

“But of course… it’s your treat… you’re the boss. Don’t let me pressure you. I never pressure anyone. It’s like window-shopping… just pretend that you’re window-shopping…”

The coffee was served, us at once. I gripped my cup hard, in need of the hot pick-me-up. A small teen-ager ran up to my new friend with some message. Everyone in the café knew him. Bazouki music blared over a radio. He lit a king-sized cigarette and offered me one. I declined. His face was furrowed, with wrinkles. An unplaceable accent. He managed the conversation with me tactfully, reliably.

“Many people can’t explain what they want and end up being disappointed. It’s not something that can be done just like that, automatically. You have to find the right combo. That’s my business. Every dream has its answer. Its fulfillment. Take yourself. You’re an intellectual type, I can see that right away. But you’re pressed for time. You’re in a rush, and so are your thoughts. If you’d just say the word to me…”

“What’s the price nowadays?” My voice sounded foreign to me, squeaky.

“That depends on how long it’s for.”

“No, I mean just the usual…”

“It depends… whatever you feel like paying…’’

“But what’s the going rate?”

“Some people give five…”

“Hundred?”

“Thousand. What’s a hundred these days?”

“Five thousand?”

“But not for you. For you there’s no charge. It’s on the house. And I have this feeling that she’ll go for you… that you’ll make it with her big…”

And supposing just this once. To prove to myself. Not against her but to realize to help us both. For our future. Our child. Another Jerusalem bus pulled out across the street. A new one pulled in after it and was boarded by a crowd of religious Jews. Whenever I want I simply pay for the coffee, cross the street, and get on it.

A couple entered the café and came over to say hello, a chubby girl dressed in white with short-cropped hair and smiling, mischievous eyes and a tall young man whose hand rested on her shoulder. The girl glanced at me inquisitively, her pants stretched tight over her thighs. The little pimp pulled her toward him and she bent down to kiss him, baring for a moment the dark ivory globes of her breasts, before being led by her partner to a table in the corner. Something about her eyes and short hair sent a stab of pain through me. The young man came back to us and whispered a few words to my companion, who listened judiciously.

“She’ll be here soon…. Would you like to drink something stronger in the meantime?”

“No, thanks. I have to be on my way. I’m in a hurry… I’m afraid you’ve wasted your time on me…”

“Why worry about it? It’s my time. And I’ve enjoyed spending it with you…’’

I noticed him follow my glance to the girl in the corner, who sat smilingly holding her friend’s hand and bobbing her head pertly.

“Maybe you like her? Just say the word… let me know…”

“Who?”

“The one who just said hello to us… in the corner…”

“Who?” I tried acting innocent. “Oh, her. Yes, I think she’s nice… but why do you ask?”

His face lit up all at once.

“Very nice! A real personality… she’s a student, you know.” He grasped my hand. “Allow me. You won’t regret it. Now I see what your taste is… you won’t 1‹ disappointed…”

He rose, crossed the room to the chatting couple, made a sign to the girl, and whispered something in her ear. She blushed, taken aback, then glanced my way with her large, gleaming brown eyes and ducked her head shyly. She was gentle, not at all hardened. And yet she was pleased. I caught my breath, the blood pounding away in my heart. My hand shook. I’ll punish her. It’s my right to. For two years I’ve begged and gotten nowhere. The pimp came slowly back to me, sat down without a word, and offered me a cigarette. I glanced down and when I looked up again the girl had already slipped out the back door. Her friend had opened an evening paper and was reading it. Across the street the bus was still waiting. Two teen-agers boarded it and then got off again.