“But what are you two talking about? Speak louder, I want to hear too.”
“About history,” laughed Tsvi again in his winning way.
“History?” asked Kedmi. “What’s that?”
“Everything,” answered. Tsvi. “At least according to Asi.”
“What do you mean, everything?”
“Even this meal that we’re eating.”
“Even this meal? I like that.” Kedmi lifted a fork with a slice of meat on it and slid it into his mouth. “Yummm… what a delicious piece of history…”
The vulgar, twisted mind of the man.
“But if it’s everything,” asked Calderon wonderingly, “what can you learn from it?”
“Nothing,” Kedmi shot back. “You just keep eating it till you die…”
“No, really,” Calderon persisted, turning to Asa. “Is it possible, Dr. Kaminka, to understand what’s going to happen… perhaps even to draw conclusions about the future and prevent mistakes…?”
Asa nodded seriously.
“Really?”
“Not to prevent them, but to inoculate against them.”
“To inoculate???”
“To isolate the meaning, the secret code of the past, and distill from it a serum that can be injected into human beings to prepare them for the coming catastrophe: that’s the study of history in a nutshell.”
“What catastrophe is that, Asi?” I asked, startled.
“The coming one… the one that can’t be helped…”
Dina broke off her conversation with Ya’el and turned to look at Asa as though seeing him for the first time. An uncomfortable silence set in. It was clear that they weren’t on speaking terms.
Rakefet began to whimper. Calderon rose to pick her up but I reached her first and lifted her in my arms.
“Would someone pass me the meat, please,” said Kedmi, beet-colored by now. “And you, Asa, none of your horror tales, please…”
All at once exhaustion. You feel like you’re going under. The wine percolates through your limbs. What time is it? I grip Dina’s thin hand and twist it lightly to look at her gold watch with its Hebrew letters in place of numerals. A Jewish wristwatch. Alef zayin. One thirty-five. Before you behind you the darkness cleft by a strip of purple light. Snow in the streets stubborn icy snow packed hard against the quick plows. A divorce party. How could he. Taking liberties. Mother why. Her very words. Disappointed her how? I was afraid I always feared her even those first years when we made love. And suddenly two of her. The spirit is weak. Perhaps. I promised too much is that it? All at once the full weight of the thought O wondrous oppressiveness. So many things at one time. The cleft dawn. Soft sounds of German among the trees. She sits on the stoop she walks she reads she may get out any day. The dog in some city street or already run over and dead. A limp erection. The parchment in the air. Connie in the air suspended nude. A Jewish dish. You give me something realer than mere values. Behind me the headwaiter filling my glass with more wine. I smile back at him. He gives me a friendly look. For a moment the urge to open my shirt and show my scar to him too. Tsvi whispers something to Asa Kedmi bends crimsonly forward to listen. Gaddi is still putting it away how can they let him someone has to stop him. Ya’el and Dina confide in low voices. Only Calderon turns his washed-out face toward me wanting to say something wanting to hear.
I recalled our midnight meeting.
“Say, whatever happened to that mouse?”
“I finally caught it. In a trap I brought. We heard it snap shut in the morning.”
“What did you do with it?”
“I gave it to the city.”
“To the city?”
“I left it by the entrance to city hall. I thought I’d let them decide what to do next.”
“Ha ha. Too much!”
“I’m afraid, though, that it isn’t the last mouse running around there. I heard another.”
“What isn’t the last mouse?” asked Gaddi.
“Mr. Calderon discovered a mouse in the kitchen and caught it.”
“In whose kitchen?”
“In my and grandma’s old apartment in Tel Aviv.”
“But it isn’t yours anymore. You signed away your share.”
“Yes, I heard about that,” chimed in Calderon. “A surprising, I might even say dramatic, decision…”
“Dramatic.” I smiled at him. “That’s the word.”
“To sign away five million pounds just like that…”
“Five million? You’re exaggerating, Calderon.”
“No, it really is worth that.”
“That old place? It’s barely worth four.”
“I’m sorry but you’re wrong,” said Calderon heatedly. “It may be old but it’s in an excellent location. Right in downtown Tel Aviv, in the most promising block of real estate in the whole city…”
“It still can’t be worth that much.”
“But it is. I happen to know for a fact that Tsvi has a buyer who’s offered him that, and that isn’t his last word either.”
“What?” I was aghast. “Tsvi wants to sell?”
An easy killing. I glanced at him, leaning comfortably back in his chair and talking to Asa with that remote shadow of a smile. Soft-throated. Winsome. Calderon threw a longing look at him. He would try to pull a fast one on us yet. But I was leaving everything behind. Out there the land of frozen lakes was lit by a fiery dawn now, the red-bulbed trucks were thundering down the turnpikes like flying Christmas trees. Suddenly the sky darkened. A small black cloud had covered the sun. We all looked up at it. The old boarders let out a cry of joy in German, reminded no doubt of European climes. And I was to be left with nothing, my lifeblood running low. Except for my now available, my divorced name. To have to begin again from scratch. Rakefet gave a start on my lap and screamed in her sleep. I tried to gentle her while Ya’el hurried to take her from me, but her screaming only grew louder as she pushed away the bottle that Ya’el gave her. Now Dina rose to take her from Ya’el and walk with her in the garden, rocking her in her arms while the old boarders looked on excitedly and cooed advice. But Rakefet continued her deep, heartrending cries. Ya’el took her back again and undid her diaper but the crying didn’t stop.
“Ya’el,” grumbled Kedmi, “do something.”
Rakefet shrieked still louder, as though possessed. Gaddi jumped up and down with excitement.
“It’s just like it was then, just like it was then, only then I was alone with her! You see that you can’t make her stop! Only then I was alone with her!”
Rakefet was passed from hand to hand, keys were jangled in front of her, even the headwaiter tried his luck with some old toy dog made of wool that he brought from the kitchen. Rakefet wouldn’t even look at it. She shrieked till she was blue in the face. Ya’el was alarmed.
“We have to go home,” she said to Kedmi.
“Just a minute. What about dessert…?”
Calderon leaped up to order the desserts but Rakefet’s screams were deafening. In a panic Ya’el began to shout at Kedmi. We all got to our feet.
We tried to calm her. “It’s nothing… she’ll get over it…”
But Ya’el was adamant. “I want us to go home this minute.”
I went over to join Asa and Tsvi, who were still chatting off to the side.
“You two should get together more often. What have you been talking about all this time?”
“The assassination of the Tsar,” laughed Tsvi. “Asi was telling me how he was killed. Which one did you say it was?”
“Alexander II.”
I laughed too.
“All right,” said Kedmi, giving in. “Let’s go.”
“What a pity,” said Calderon. “Perhaps I should take her for a drive in my car. That’s how I put my own girls to sleep when they were babies.”
“Don’t trouble yourself. We’ll all go home.”