‘Come, come; that’s far too jaunty. You don’t at all understand the position of the person applying for work. You must be profoundly depressed; there must be half a tear in your eye; you must look hungry.’
‘O dear—I had such an excellent breakfast!’
‘Which clearly disqualifies you for the post you seek. However, Miss—Miss Redwing, I think you said?’
‘I did, sir.’
‘Vastly better. The applicant must always be a little ashamed of his name; they learn that, you know, from the way in which they are addressed by employers. Well, I’ll give you a hint. Tell him he’s an ass, or he wouldn’t have needed to ask my opinion.’
‘I am to put that into parliamentary language?’
‘Precisely.’
‘And say nothing more definite?’
‘Really Miss—Miss Redwing, I begin to doubt the genuineness of your testimonials. You surely have learnt that the first essential of the art of public letter-writing is to say nothing whatever in as convincing a manner as possible.’
‘But if I tell him he’s a—a donkey?’
‘You fear it will be deviating into truth. There’s something in that. Say, then, that the matter is occupying my gravest attention, and that I hope to be able to reply definitely in the course of a few weeks.’
‘Very well. Where may I sit? But I can’t use a quill, dear boy.’
‘Miss Redwing!’
‘Oh, I forgot myself. Have you a nice, fine point, not too hard?’
‘Let me see.’
Wilfrid unlocked one of the drawers in his desk. As he drew it out, Beatrice stole to him, and peeped into the drawer.
‘How neat, Wilfrid!’ she exclaimed. ‘What a pretty pocket-book that is lying there. Do let me look at it.’
It was a morocco case, with an elastic band round it. Beatrice stretched her hand towards it, but he arrested her movement.
‘No, no,’ he said, playfully, ‘we can’t have prying. Here are the pens.’
‘But do let me look at the case, Wilfrid.’
He began to close the drawer. Beatrice laid her hand on it.
‘My aunt gave it me, long ago,’ Wilfrid said, as if to dismiss the subject. ‘Mind! I shall trap your fingers.’
‘I’m sure you won’t do that. But I do want to see it. The smell of morocco is so delicious. Just one whiff of it.’
‘Then you want to smell it, not to see it. If you’re good, you shall before you go away.’
‘No, but now!—Wilfrid!’
He was pretending to squeeze her fingers in the shutting of the drawer. She would not undo her grasp.
‘Why mayn’t I, Wilfrid?’
She looked at him. His expression was graver than became the incident; he was trying to smile, but Beatrice saw that his eyes and lips were agitated.
‘Why mayn’t I?’ she repeated.
‘Oh, if you insist,’ he exclaimed, moving back a step or two, ‘of course you may.’
She took up the case, and looked at it on either side.
‘There are letters in it?’ she said, without raising her eyes.
‘Yes, I believe there are letters in it.’
‘Important, I suppose?’
‘I daresay; I suppose I had some reason for putting them there.’
He spoke with apparent indifference, and turned to light a cigarette. Beatrice put back the case, and closed the drawer.
‘Here is notepaper,’ Wilfrid said, holding some to her.
She took it in silence, and seated herself. Wilfrid at tempted to pursue the jest, but she could not reply. She sat as if about to ‘write; her eyes were drooped, and her mouth had set itself hard. Wilfrid affected to turn over papers in search for something, still standing before the table.
‘You find it difficult to begin,’ he said. ‘Pray call him “dear sir.” Society depends upon that “dear.”’
‘A word easily used,’ remarked Beatrice, in a low’ voice, as if she were thinking.
He cast a glance at her, then seated himself. He was at the side of the table, she at the end. After a moment of silence, she leaned forward to him.
‘Wilfrid,’ she said, trying to smile, ‘what letters are those, dear?’
‘Of what possible moment can that be to you, Beatrice?’
‘It seems—I can’t help thinking they are—letters which you value particularly. Might I not know?’
He looked away to the window.
‘Of course, if you tell me I am rude,’ Beatrice continued, pressing her pen’s point upon the table, ‘I have no answer.’
‘Well, yes,’ he replied at length, as if having taken a resolve, ‘they are letters of—that I have put apart for a special reason. And now, shall we forget them?’
His tone was not altogether suave; about his nostrils there was a suspicion of defiance. He forced himself to meet her gaze steadily; the effort killed a smile.
‘We will cease to speak of them,’ Beatrice answered, implying a distinction.
A minute later he saw’ that she laid down her pen and rose. He looked up inquiringly.
‘I don’t feel able to do anything this morning,’ she said.
Wilfrid made no reply. She went to the chair on which her hat and mantle lay.
‘You are not going?’ he asked, in a tone of surprise.
‘I think so; I can’t be of use to you,’ she added, impulsively; ‘I have not your confidence.’
He let her throw the mantle over her shoulders.
‘Beatrice, surely this is not the result of such a trifle? Look!’ He pulled open the drawer once more and threw the pocket-hook on to the table. ‘Suppose that had lain there when you came into this room alone. Should you have opened it and examined the contents?’
‘I should not—you know it.’
‘Very well. You would simply have taken it for granted that I was to be trusted to look after my own affairs, until I asked someone else’s aid or advice. Is not that the case at present?’
A man more apt at dissimulation would have treated the matter from the first with joking irony, and might have carried his point, though with difficulty. Wilfrid had not the aptitude, to begin with, and he was gravely disturbed. His pulses were throbbing; scarcely could he steady his voice. He dreaded a disclosure of what might well be regarded as throwing doubt upon his sincerity, the more so that he understood in this moment how justifiable such a doubt would be. After the merriment of a few minutes ago, this sudden shaking of his nerves was the harder to endure. It revived with painful intensity the first great agitations of his life. His way of speaking could not but confirm Beatrice’s suspicions.
‘We are not exactly strangers to each other,’ she said, coldly.
‘No, we are not; yet I think I should have forborne to press you on any matter you thought it needless to speak of.’
She put on her hat. Wilfrid felt his anger rising—our natural emotion when we are disagreeably in the wrong, yet cannot condemn the cause which has made us so. He sat to the table again, as if his part in the discussion were at an end.
Beatrice stood for some moments, then came quickly to his side.
‘Wilfrid, have you secrets from me?’ she asked, the tremor of her voice betraying the anguish that her suspicions cost her. ‘Say I am ill-mannered. It was so, at first; I oughtn’t to have said anything. But now it has become something different. However trifling the matter, I can’t bear that you should refuse to treat me as yourself. There is nothing, nothing I could keep from you. I have not a secret in my life to hide from you. It is not because they are letters—or not only that. You put a distance between us you say there are affairs of yours in which I have no concern. I cannot bear that! If I leave you, I shall suffer more than you dream. I thought we were one. Is not your love as complete as mine?’
He rose and moved away, saying—
‘Open it! Look at the letters!’
‘No, that I can’t do. What can it be that troubles you so? Are they letters that I ought not to see?’
He could bear it no longer.
‘Yes,’ he answered, brusquely, ‘I suppose they are.’