I cut those really inappropriate thoughts off as I peeked at Nyktos. I sat directly to his right, only because that was where he’d basically put me after retrieving me from my chambers. He’d swept his hair back in a knot at the nape of his neck and replaced the tattered shirt with a new one. Tension had returned to the set of his jaw and shoulders.
The moments of peace were truly gone.
I’d waited by the doors in my chambers, luckily catching the sound of his door closing. I’d figured he was leaving to speak with his guards about what had occurred, and I wanted to know what he would say. He’d appeared surprised by my request to join him but hadn’t stopped me. Though, he hadn’t said much and had barely looked at me. I…knew regret had found him, even though he had clearly been an active participant in what’d happened and had also found release. I shifted in the chair, the wool sweater suddenly too thick.
“They could be,” Rhain agreed. He sat across from me, his reddish-gold hair redder in the light. He’d stared at my wrists as soon as he sat beside me. Just as Bele had when she entered. I had a feeling they were the only two who sensed the charm, but the rest had been told about it. “But how many Primals would be bold enough to pull a stunt like that?”
“Does it require bravery when it wasn’t them who carried out the act?” Nyktos countered.
Rhain nodded slowly. “Good point.”
“It was likely Hanan.” Bele spat the Primal’s name like a curse. “He has cause to be upset, and he is one Primal definitely not brave enough to come to the Shadowlands himself to see if I’ve truly Ascended.” Bele slid off the table and began to walk. She was a pacer like me. “Those entombed gods were freed to create a distraction—enough time to grab my ass. People died because of it. I shouldn’t be here. I need to leave.”
“You’re where you’re needed,” Nyktos told her.
“I told her that.” Aios watched Bele, her deep red hair a shock of color against her pale cheeks. “She doesn’t want to hear it.”
“He wants me here because it’s safer,” Bele countered as she came to stand beside Nektas.
Aios sighed, shaking her head. “And as I also said, there’s nothing wrong with safety.”
“She’s right, and it can mean both things.” Nyktos brushed a strand of hair back from his face. “I need you here, where it happens to be safer for you.”
Bele’s chin lifted. “I can’t stay hidden forever. I don’t want to. I refuse to.”
“I’m not suggesting that. But for the time being, you need to keep a low profile. Hanan and others may believe you’ve Ascended, but until they’ve seen you, they can’t one hundred percent confirm that.”
“You’re not the one drawing them here.” I spoke up, and the hair swung around Bele’s chin as she jerked her head toward me. Several pairs of eather-filled eyes landed on me. Nyktos had shared with them what I knew, but like Nektas, I hadn’t said much during the meeting. I cleared my throat. “It’s what I did. You shouldn’t feel responsible for any of this.”
Her brow pinched. “And you should?”
“Obviously. I’m the one who did it.”
“What you did saved my life—and thank you for that,” she said, two pink splotches appearing on her cheeks. “I don’t know if I said that yet.”
I nodded, feeling my face warm, as well.
“I don’t get how that god could be looking for you,” Ector said from my other side. “Neither Hanan nor Kolis knows what you look like. None of the Primals have been here to see you.”
“Except for Veses,” Rhain said.
I immediately scowled. I’d only seen the Primal of Rites and Prosperity once, and she’d been overly touchy with Nyktos. So much so that I’d assumed they had some sort of relationship. But there had been…no one else before me. “Veses didn’t see me when she was here.” I looked at Nyktos. “Right?”
A muscle flexed in Nyktos’s jaw as he stared at Rhain. He nodded.
“People have seen her—at Court, when it was held here,” Theon pointed out. “And on the Rise the night the dakkais attacked. She’s a new face. Doesn’t take a leap of logic to put two and two together and end up with the Consort. It could’ve been Hanan, and he’d given orders to find both Bele and her.”
Nyktos’s eyes flashed to him. “Our people would never betray her identity to another Court.”
“How can you be sure?” My foot stopped its tapping. I wasn’t even sure what I was doing here. None of what would be discussed or possibly revealed would matter.
“Because I am.”
I waited for him to elaborate. He didn’t. “Need I remind you of Hamid?” The godling had lived in Lethe and had befriended the young Chosen that still resided in one of the chambers above. He had been the one to report Gemma missing, and by all accounts, was known to be generous and kind. He was also known to carry a deep-rooted hatred of Kolis because he’d killed his mother—a goddess—and destroyed her soul. He, like many others, was so afraid of the false Primal of Life that when Gemma had told him I had to be the one Kolis had been searching for, he’d seen me for what I already knew to be true. That I was a threat to the sanctuary the Shadowlands offered. I didn’t fault her for what Hamid had attempted afterward. Part of me couldn’t really even blame him.
I probably would’ve done the same.
Except I would’ve been successful, where he had failed.
“Not like I’ve forgotten that.” Nyktos’s fingers stilled. “But that was different.”
“Not to be argumentative,” I said, and his eyes narrowed, “but exactly how is that different?”
“Because Hamid thought he was protecting the Shadowlands,” Rhain answered, his stare far colder than it had been when I’d first arrived. Except for Aios, none had been extremely friendly before, but Rhain had been warmer than he was now.
Lailah nodded. “And what was done here tonight threatened the safety of the Shadowlands. Those who seek shelter here wouldn’t jeopardize that.”
“It’s possible that a god from another Court was here the night the dakkais attacked,” Nektas added. “Saw you at the right moment and gave a good enough description to allow someone to grab you.”
“Or let me die,” I said. “That god wasn’t there on orders that required me to survive the attack.”
Nyktos slowly turned his head to me. “Come again?”
“He saw an entombed god creeping up on me and did nothing to stop it.” I frowned. “I thought I told you that.”
He lowered his hand to the table. “You didn’t.”
“Oh.” I sat back, twisting my hair. “So, yeah, I don’t think they wanted me alive. Maybe just out of the picture, which kind of makes me think it wasn’t Kolis, if what Penellaphe said about the embers of life is true.” And considering that I carry Sotoria’s soul, but I didn’t tack that on. As far as I knew, those in the room only knew that I carried an ember of life.
“Well, whoever was behind it almost got what they wanted…” Bele trailed off as the air in the war room chilled.
A tangible tension flooded the space. Swords and daggers rattled on the wall. My eyes lifted to the ceiling as the overhead lights flickered.
“Ash.” Nektas called his name softly.
Slowly, I looked at Nyktos. Shadows had appeared under Nyktos’s skin. The air crackled. “Almost,” I reiterated quietly.
Whirling silver eyes met mine. The essence slowed, and the charge of energy gradually faded from the room. His gaze dropped to where my fingers rested on his arm.
I was touching him.
In front of others.
I hadn’t even realized I’d done it. Feeling my cheeks warm, I jerked my hand away. I didn’t think Nyktos appreciated it. Touching in those rare, intimate moments after he’d given me his blood didn’t equate to him wanting my touch whenever. I stared at the scarred table, breathing through the sting of…disappointment. But in what? Him? Me? I glanced up, and Rhain’s icy stare met mine.