Like everything else, detachment can be learned. For the purpose of better understanding and to make this a tangible practice, I am going to segregate the practice in to two parts. First is letting go of physical objects; this strengthens one’s mind. The second is letting go of thoughts or emotions. I’m only elaborating on the first one (letting go of physical objects) because if you meditate correctly, you’ll develop your own wisdom and method to let go of undesirable thoughts and emotions.
How to Do It Right
Start giving up whatever you like. Essentially, that is the practice; start giving up. So, should you give up your car, house, belongings and so forth? Not at all. The attachment is generally not with the object, it is with the pleasure you get from such object, with the value you place on it. You are not attached to tea but the pleasure you get from drinking tea. So, if you are willing to part with the joy you get from drinking tea, the habit of drinking tea will leave you effortlessly.
The practice of letting go starts with identifying what you love the most and then picking one to begin with, deciding to let go for a certain period. It can be one week, a month, one year or any other duration you decide. Please see the chart below:
The complete practice of tyaga means abandoning consumption, desire, contemplation and thoughts of the object of attachment. In line with the framework tabulated above, let me elaborate the practice with an example.
Let’s say you love drinking coffee. Your favourite is cappuccino. For the last so many years, you have been routinely having your double shot cappuccino. You have gotten used to it. On days you cannot get your hands on your coffee, you miss it. Perhaps, you even get a headache if you are unable to get your dose of caffeine. This is attachment; it strips you of your freedom and makes you dependent. One day, committing yourself to the practice of tyaga you decide to give up coffee for a period of forty days. During those forty days, if you:
Consuming coffee even once (consumption row in the table above) is a breach of your practice. The impact is red. It is an instant failure item. You need to restart.
Keep longing for coffee, this means you are unable to take your mind off coffee. You are curbing your desire. Your practice continues but it brings down the overall quality by twenty percent.
Keep contemplating on coffee, the desire for coffee will arise automatically. If only you remember to gently take your mind off and focus it elsewhere each time you think about coffee, you are doing good.
Think about coffee, which may emerge even at the sight of a cafe, or seeing someone drinking it, etc., is okay. The key is to drop the thought when it emerges. Having thoughts is natural. When you stay mindful of your practice and resolution, thoughts become feeble and harmless; they disappear as soon as they emerge.
When you let go, you gain freedom. It further leads to a state of independence, peace and fulfilment. Ultimately, if you can let go of everything that gives you grief, every agonizing emotion, every discursive thought, you can well imagine your blissful state.
When you learn to let go, you are effectively learning to let yourself go free.
Self-Awareness Journal
Often we lose sight of the good in our lives simply because we are not consciously aware of it anymore. In facing our challenges and daily struggles, we forget that there’s more to our life, more to us, than merely living from one day to the next. This self-awareness journal is to help you see where you are going (and if you want to go there) and what all you already have to be grateful for.
This simple journal has a powerful way of building self- awareness, positivity and gratitude in your life. You could fill it every day for 40 days or less as per your convenience. You can use the template above to put it in your diary or you can download a soft copy from my website (omswami.com).
For each day, there are five sections.
I am grateful for: There are two rows in this section. Think about the two things you are grateful for in your life and jot them down here. Try to list two new things every day.
I can be a better person by: Once again, there are two rows. Write down two habits you wish to develop. Even if you pen down the same two habits every day, you’ll end up being more mindful. Gradually, your mind will start shifting towards those actions that are in line with your priorities.
I love myself because: Two reasons why you love yourself. It sounds easy but this section is where most participants have trouble in the meditation retreats I conduct. If you can list two new reasons every day, that will be simply marvellous.
I would love to learn: One skill you would love to learn. A skill you’ve always wanted to but never found the time to learn–playing piano, swimming, dancing, anything.
If I could be I would be: How would you live your life if there were no barriers? Who would you be? It’ll be an insightful exercise, one that’ll tell you what it is that you really want out of life.
Please fill this journal every day and review it at the end of your practice. It will bring about a subtle change in you as you’ll find yourself more positive, calm and focused. The benefit of maintaining this journal is multiplied when you meditate regularly.
Meditation Journal
For months, during my own intense practice, I meticulously maintained a journal of my meditation. It helped me see a pattern and understand if I was progressing on the path. At a glance I could see which hurdles bothered me more than others and if I maintained my state even when I wasn’t meditating. This journal has three charts. The first one is to measure the quality of your meditation sessions. The second is to mark which blocks or hurdles are impeding your growth. And the third one is to see if you are maintaining virtues at other times even when you are not meditating. The charts here are merely templates and you can make your own guidelines from this or download a soft copy from my website.
Please see the first chart below:
It lists six aspects of meditation for each day and session.
Each day has three sessions, M = Morning; E = Evening; and N = Night (just before you go to bed). You are welcome to put only one or two sessions every day. Your session can be as long as you want but it’s important to be consistent. To begin with you could do two or three 15-minute sessions.
The important thing to learn is how to mark yourself. For each aspect, at the end of your meditation, just reflect on it if you could maintain it and give a score accordingly. For example, throughout your session what was the quality of your concentration. If it was superb, give yourself a 7 out of 10, for instance.
The same goes for posture too. If you moved your limbs even once during that one session, deduct at least 4 marks. If you turned your head, deduct another 3 marks against posture. If you simply couldn’t keep your gaze still but kept your posture intact, deduct only two marks. The same goes for mindfulness and alertness too.
If you had sit down thinking that you would’ve meditated for 10 minutes but got up after 5 minutes, it means that the ‘duration’ aspect was compromised. Deduct at least 5 marks for this.