She hoped Perry would have already contacted Rebecca. Would they let Rebecca come personally, here to the hospital? No reason why they shouldn’t. It would be better if she could talk to Rebecca direct, rather than relay messages through Perry. She needed to talk to someone besides police and lawyers: needed a friend. Her only friend. She had to make a list, in her head, of the clothes she wanted brought in. Suits, she supposed, for the court appearances when she was discharged from here and from the hospital wing of whatever prison she was sent to. And for the psychiatrists’ meetings. Important she talk to Perry about that today: get things set up immediately. To be declared sane – not totally off her head – and stop being regarded by everyone like the bearded woman in a sideshow. Except, she supposed, that when everybody at last believed her she’d be considered even more of an oddity.
A lot to think about: think about and get under way. End the whole terrible nightmare. It was good, being able to think like this. Think clearly, logically, as she’d always been able to think: to have her mind back. When would it start again, the chanting and the mockery? A distracting question: not important. What was important was getting everything she had to do established in her head. Not to forget anything. Good to feel better. And she did feel better. Not fully rested, because she hadn’t rested fully. But enough. Sufficient to be able to work things out as she was working them out now. She wasn’t shaking, either. Her hands and arms were throbbing from the cuts but not badly. Wouldn’t need painkillers. Just another sedative, that night. Knew how to get it now. How to beat Jane.
The numbness warned her. ‘ No you don’t. ’
‘I had a wonderful night’s sleep.’
‘ You heard me. ’
‘Not a sound.’
‘ Liar. ’
‘She’s awake. At it again.’
Jennifer shuffled herself upright at the policewoman’s voice. The day-shift sergeant was at the door, looking enquiringly at the yawning pair getting up stiffly from the easy chairs in which they had spent the night. The new arrivals positioned themselves with their backs to Jennifer, so that she didn’t hear the muffled exchanges, but she was conscious of the looks from all of them. For the first time they didn’t appear patronizing. One smiled and nodded at something one of the others said.
‘What?’ demanded Jennifer.
‘Superintendent Bentley is coming to see you this morning,’ announced the day sergeant.
‘What about?’
Instead of replying the woman said, ‘How is the voice?’
‘Jane’s started.’
‘Sure,’ said the sergeant and smiled sideways at the other newly-arrived policewoman, who smiled back.
‘What is it?’ insisted Jennifer, exasperated.
‘You’ll have to wait for the superintendent.’
‘ I’m as curious as you are! ’
‘Stop it!’
The policewoman remained smiling. The sergeant said, ‘That damned voice again?’
‘You know it is!’
‘Do I?’
‘ They’re taking the piss out of you. Jennifer.’
Jennifer fought back a response, grateful for the entry of the nurse with washing water and the repeated announcement that the police were coming to see her. ‘And your lawyer. He asked me to tell you.’
When she began her make-up Jennifer realized her hands were shaking again, although not as badly as the previous morning. Today there were no smudged lines and the swelling on her lip had gone down enough to complete the colouring. She managed her hair more successfully than the previous day, too. Her eyes were still ringed, although not as darkly as before. She was glad there was no sensation to warn her of Jane, easily able without interruption to call to mind everything she wanted to tell Humphrey Perry.
She actually smiled when the shiny domed solicitor came into the ward, ahead of another man who politely held the door for the policewomen to leave. Perry remained expressionless introducing Jeremy Hall, who did smile back although very briefly.
‘The police are coming to see me,’ announced Jennifer, at once.
‘We know,’ said Perry. ‘That’s why we’re here. To talk to you first.’
‘There are things I want to sort out with you-’ Jennifer began, but Perry cut across her.
‘… We want to establish something at once, Mrs Lomax.’
‘ They don’t give a fuck about what you want ’ Jennifer’s skin began to burn.
‘I want, in fact, to hear your story,’ said Hall.
The voice was very deep, more resonant than the solicitor’s – an actor’s voice, almost – and it was not until she concentrated fully upon the man that Jennifer realized how big he was, broad as well as tall. She decided, surprised, that he reminded her of Gerald. Younger maybe, but only by a few years. Same blue eyes and the direct, talking-only-to-you concentration. She could even find a similarity in the voice, although Gerald’s hadn’t been so deep. It registered mostly with her in the self-assured, unhurried way in which Hall actually spoke, a person confident of his own ability. Unlike everyone else he wasn’t frightened of her, expecting her without warning to do something violent. Not that he would have had any cause to worry, as obviously fit as he was. A sportsman, she guessed. What sport? An active, energetic one to have a build like that. Rugby maybe.
The two men took the chairs vacated by the policewomen.
‘ Why don’t you try to compare the size of their dicks? ’
Jennifer jumped but managed to hold back from replying. The effort made the shake worsen, momentarily. ‘Hear what, exactly?’
‘It was this voice that made you go to London?’ coaxed Hall.
‘Jane, yes.’
‘You couldn’t stop yourself?’
‘It wasn’t me. It was Jane, using my body.’
‘Your husband hadn’t been home the previous night?’
‘No. He stayed away two or three nights a week, on average. But he was always home at weekends. That was the arrangement.’
‘Was there any other arrangement, Mrs Lomax?’ intruded Perry.
‘ They’re out to trick you! ’
‘Jane says you’re trying to trick me.’
Perry sighed, audibly. The other man didn’t. Perry said, ‘You didn’t answer my question.’
‘I didn’t understand it.’
‘Were there any difficulties in your marriage?’ demanded Hall, directly.
‘ What have we got here? ’ Jane’s voice was excited.
‘I still don’t understand,’ insisted Jennifer. A feeling began, a faint nausea, deep in her stomach.
Perry sighed again, more loudly. ‘Were you and your husband happily married? Or did he spend two or three nights away from home for other reasons?’
‘No!’ said Jennifer, as forcefully as she could. ‘Gerald was not having an affair.’
‘ You sure? I’m not! ’
Jennifer shook her head but didn’t speak.
‘I am going to do my best to defend you against a charge of murder, Mrs Lomax-’ said Hall.
‘That’s one of the things I want to discuss with you-’
‘Please hear your counsel out,’ broke in Perry, again. ‘We have to get things clear in our mind before the police interview.’
‘ See! Don’t give a fuck.’
‘Make your point,’ demanded Jennifer, to the younger man. She wouldn’t be bullied.
‘ You will be.’
‘If I am going to do that, defend you, you have to be completely honest with me.’
Jennifer succeeded with a half smile. ‘I know it’s bizarre. Preposterous. But I am possessed by Gerald’s first wife, Jane. She thinks Gerald and I conspired in her murder. Which, of course, we didn’t. The inquest verdict was that she died from an inexplicable overdose of insulin.’
‘ You did! You did! ’
Hall refused to respond to Perry’s look. Instead he stayed upon Jennifer and said, ‘You know full well that is not a viable defence. It is, as you say, preposterous. Unless, of course, you expect a lesser charge to which we can plead diminished responsibility. Which would result in a custodial care sentence, with reviews until you could be declared recovered. And then released back into the community