And now at 9:30 at night, even that was not the uppermost concern in Ann's mind. Her first worry now was that her daughter had not come back to her cabin, even though Ann had seen Bob Seikerd earlier that evening from a distance, going into the main meeting hall. If Lani was not with him, where was she?
The distraught young mother had been almost prostrate with worry since that time, her mind flying alternately between concern for her daughter and revolting, and yet strangely exciting visions of her debasement that afternoon. She had paced the cramped little cabin or had sat anxiously waiting on the edge of the cot for almost 2 hours, and her nerves had reached the snapping point.
Looking at her watch once again, Ann stood up and crossed to the window. What should I do, she asked herself desperately, who can I turn to? I need help… God… I can't handle this all by myself! Suddenly she remembered the friendly man she had met that day on the steps of the meeting hall. What was his name? She couldn't even remember, and it had only been a few short hours before. She remembered his great, flowing beard, his soiled coveralls, his friendly tone of voice… Moses, that's it, she suddenly recalled, maybe he could help me. He seemed to be some kind of a leader around the commune, she thought, so perhaps he might have some influence with her innocent young daughter; and anyway, somebody should be warned about that terrible Bob Seikerd.
Quickly, Ann extinguished the light in Lani's cabin, and rushed out into the cool moonlit night. She almost ran towards the meeting hall, and finally came into the main clearing of the commune. She saw a group of people lounging on the steps of the hall, made sure Bob Seikerd was not among them, and then approached slowly.
"Excuse me, can any of you tell me where I might find Moses?" she asked hesitantly, suddenly aware of a pungent aroma that filled the air around them and was wafted to her by the gentle breeze. She saw the hand rolled cigarette being passed around the circle of young people, and realized with a start that it must be marijuana.
"Uhhh… yeah," said a blond, long-haired boy who lay enfolded between the two legs of the young girl sitting above him, "yeah, I think he's down in his cabin."
"Could you tell me where that is?" Ann asked.
"Sure," said the heavy-lidded girl above him. "It's… uhh… it's down that path there, first door on your right." She giggled inexplicably.
"Thank you very much," Ann said, turning toward the path the girl had indicated.
"Sure, Mom, sure," the young girl said, and the group began to snigger softly as Ann walked away.
She didn't hear them, though, but strode purposefully down towards Moses' cabin, turning in at the first little path she saw running to her right. She saw some lights through the trees, and continued until she stood, hesitantly before Moses' front door. Then, girding up her courage she knocked resolutely on the roughly hewn oak timbers. There was no immediate answer, and she knocked again. After a pause she heard a soft voice reach out to her from inside the cabin.
"It's open," the voice said, and nothing more.
She slowly pulled the latch on the door, and stepped softly into the room. It was draped with rugs and old carpets on all the walls, and except for a large mattress lying on the floor in the corner and a few crates and wooden boxes, was bare. She saw Moses sitting cross legged in the middle of the floor, staring with half-closed eyes at the flame of a stubby candle, that was fixed with its own wax directly on the wooden floor. She stood quietly, thinking she was disturbing him, but then thought that perhaps he wasn't even aware of her presence. She hesitated, and then spoke to him.
"Moses?"
He didn't answer.
"Moses? I've got to talk to you about something very important."
Finally, Moses slowly raised his eyes to her, took a moment to recognize her, and then smiled a far away smile.
"Hello Ann. Sit down. I've been expecting you."
Ann looked for a chair, found none, and then lowered herself to the floor across the candle from him.
"You've been expecting me?" she asked, wondering apprehensively if he knew about Lani, and Bob, and the whole situation.
"Yes, I have. Would you like something to drink?"
Ann's throat felt suddenly very dry, and she realized she hadn't had a drink all day. She accepted his offer gratefully, and watched as he moved to one of the little crates beside his mattress.
"Why have you been expecting me?" she asked, still confused.
"Well… Bob and Lani were here earlier, and we talked about what had happened." Moses watched as Ann's eyes grew wide with fear. "Oh, there's nothing to worry about, Ann. I'm used to that kind of thing. I'm sort of a spiritual adviser around here, you know, people often come to me with their problems. But you can be sure that I'll keep your secret in strictest confidence." The bearded man finished pouring two stiff drinks of vodka, neglecting to add that Bob had only told him while bragging of his seduction of Lani's mother, after they had both taken Lani violently that same evening.
"Here, drink this. It'll steady your nerves."
Ann took the glass from him, and stared at the clear liquid.
"What is it?" she asked hesitantly.
"Just vodka," he replied. "I'm afraid that's all I have. I hope it's all right."
"It's fine, Moses. Thank you." Ann took a gulp of the drink, and coughed as its fire attacked her parched throat. "Whew, that is strong stuff."
Moses smiled, and sat down again on the floor, closer to her this time.
"Would you like to talk about what's happened?" he said gently, hardly able to keep his eyes from boring under the light dress she was wearing, which was inched up over her soft, ivory thighs as she sat clasping her drink with both hands.
"No… no, I don't think so, Moses. That's very nice of you," Ann said kindly, more at ease now with the kind and understanding man, "but I didn't come for that. I just came to ask you to help me get my daughter back… I mean, to help me convince Lani that she should come back to South San Francisco with me. Right away."
"But why, Ann? She seems perfectly happy here."
"No, she isn't – she couldn't be! She's all mixed up with this Bob Seikerd, and he's evil, Moses, he's a horribly evil influence on her, you know that."
"Well," Moses said quietly, "she seems to be content with him, at least when they were here this afternoon."
"But she's so young, Moses! She's blinded by her love for this awful man, so she can't see what kind of a danger he is for her!"
"Oh, now I think you're exaggerating a little, Ann."
"No I'm not! He raped me this afternoon… raped me… right after he'd… he'd… right after he'd been with Lani," Ann stammered. "He doesn't love her, I know that. He's just using her!"
Moses looked at her impassively, trying to hide the excitement that was beginning to grow in him as he realized that this was an opportunity he couldn't afford to miss.
"I don't know what to say Ann. Bob and Lani seemed to agree that… now you mustn't be angry, I'm just telling you what they said… that you hadn't been raped at all. In fact, from what I understand from them, it was you who were the aggressor."
"That's not true!" Ann screamed. "He's lying, and Lani believes him! Oh my God, don't you see…?"
Moses quickly moved to the hysterical young mother, and put his hand on her trembling shoulder soothingly.
"Now calm down, Ann," he crooned, "getting all upset isn't going to help matters. Take it easy… relax… come on now…"
"How can I relax when my own daughter believes those terrible things about me! God, Moses, she's all I have… and I'm losing her… dear God… I'm losing her!"